Elle McBriar

August 2nd, 4 months and 21 days since the last zombie report

You fall in love with a stranger.

You meet, talk, kiss and fall in love. It's basically the rule of thumb.

Alex was a stranger before I met him. All of them were. And I feel terrible because Alex kissed me in the hallway. And I kissed him back - but only for a couple seconds before I ran away.

I don't have feelings for him. In a romantic kind of way. He's one of my closest friends, my new family. And I don't want it to be awkward. But I probably made it awkward by running away. God I'm an idiot.

But speaking of bad news, I was hit in the back of head with a Whiskey bottle. In movies, that's blunt force trauma, and wasn't hard to enough to kill me. Which leads me to thinking that, if the person or thing that hit me didn't intend to kill me, what'd they intend to do?

They didn't take anything while I was passed out. They didn't injure or kidnap me (aside from the bleeding head). So it makes me wonder what game they're playing at.

Good news though, it's Alex's birthday on August 3rd and I'm making a cake. I'm beyond excited.

Hopefully it'll be good, even though it's a shitty chocolate cake with no candles or presents.

I heard a twig snap behind me and turned around, seeing the rustling of leaves. I relaxed, turning back to my journal. I closed the spiral end notebook, encasing the pen inside.

I brought my knees up to my chest, staring out over the stars as I kept the wind out. Trying to close in as much heat as I could consume by hugging myself closer. It's so beautiful on the roof. I can see the entire sky. Stars, moon, milky way. I love space. I wish I was stuck in space for all of eternity instead of stupid Earth.

Dumb zombies. I'd rather deal with Aliens.

"I though I'd find you up here." A voice I recognised as Paxton's said. I didn't bother looking at him, I already knew he'd be coming up, "Alex told me you found the roof peaceful." He's not wrong. It is peaceful. Aside from the wind, there's nothing to bother you up here.

Paxton handed me a cup, I glanced at the tea-bag and smiled at him, taking a sip and immediately feel it warm my insides. Paxton had one too, "How did you climb a ladder with two cups of tea?" I asked him, completely baffled, "I'm Spiderman." He whispered, "Yeah, you wish. No can compare to Andrew Garfield." I scoffed, "You watched Spiderman?"

"Who didn't watch Spiderman? I'm a huge nerd when it comes to Marvel comics." I joked, looking at his shocked face, "I honestly took you for a chick-flick kind of girl."

I held my hand up, "I take offence to that Mr Andrew Garfield 2.0. I hate chick flicks, of any kind. Apart from the notebook. That is the only movie I tolerate." It's my guilty pleasure.

"Duly noted. Not that we'll ever watch TV again." He said, "Yeah. If only Alex can get the solar panels up and running." I tapped the half-screwed in solar panels and sighed.

We were stuck in silence for a long time. I contemplated what to say, "So why're you up here?" Do I tell the truth? No, of course not, "I can't sleep, so I needed a distraction." I mean it's not a complete lie, so props for that.

Paxton sighed, "You know, if the guys found out I was saying this, I'd get shit for it but, I don't mind sleeping next to you. Or if you want to sleep next to me." He said in all seriousness.

I tried to take his words to heart, but all I could think about is when he rolled over and almost squished Riley, "Even with Riley?" I gushed, Paxton laughed, "Even with the little devil, yes." I nodded, "I might just take you up on that, Mr Price."

We joked back and forth through the night, and I found out more priceless evidence and stories against Paxton. He glued his hands together in fifth grade and had to go to the ER to get them separated. The first time he kissed a girl, he sneezed. This is gold, I love his stories.

"But uh, you know how I told you about my Dad?" Paxton said, his frown once returning. I nodded. It's a touchy subject for him and I know it's hard to talk about. "Well, up until the zombies, I had nightmares every night of him coming home and beating me." His voice was shallow, soft spoken.

"And then after my Dad died, they slowly faded away. And I don't know how or why they've come back, but after you told us that you see your family in your dreams and you see yourself dying, my dreams are filled with my Dad. Happy memories and bad ones."

I took his hand in mine, his fingers surprisingly wrapping around mine, "I don't know about you, but when you're next to me I feel safe." I started, catching his attention, "I feel like, because I know you're there, you'll protect me from whatever tries to harm me. And then my nightmares turn to dreams. And instead of seeing my family or Tyler or Jared killing me, I see happy memories." A tear fell, "I know what you mean. It's weird but I feel it too. I no longer see my father as the man he is, but the man he once was."

We sat on the roof, reminiscing about our past lives.

"I hate him. So much, for what he did to me. And my Mom. I lived in fear everyday, and still do, but for very different reasons, obviously. But I just- I see him, standing in my room and I feel like he's going to reach out and grab me and I-I can't deal with that." Paxton stuttered, "And I try to convince myself he's not real, because I watched him die. I watched the zombies tear him to bits. But still, he's this vivid memory and he won't fucking leave!"

Paxton slammed his fists on the concrete roof, scraping his knuckles and making them bleed. His fingers were tugging at his hair, "Hey." I said quickly, kneeling on my knees in front of him, "Paxton look at me." I took his face in my hands, like he had, nights ago and tilted his face towards me, "He's not here. He can't hurt you anymore." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his, "Why does he feel so real?" His voice broke and so did my heart, "You don't deserve this Paxton. I'm so sorry." I felt for him, I really did, "I know what it feels like, to have someone, do what they do. And I can only help you move on."

His eyes were closed, breathing sharp and fast, he's shaking, worry.

"He can't hurt you, Paxton. And I promise I will do my best to protect you from any nightmares, but y-you are not alone anymore. I give you my word."

His arms encircled around my waist as he held me in place, both of us enjoying this comfortable placement, "Promise?" He sounded unsure, "I absolutely promise."

And I did.

I promise.

* * *

hii

i felt many emotions as i wrote this. happiness, sadness, anger. it's difficult.

anyway, happy reading!