Elle McBriar

July 22nd, 4 months and 10 days after the first zombie report

They hauled ass out of the van while I stood there in shock, shivering my tits off. I know I had to help, but I don't know how.

"What're you standing there for? Get inside now." Alex warned, pushing me inside.

I locked up the house. I was dark, eerie, cold. There was a broken window paine, where a bullet shot through and shattered it. A cold harsh breeze whipped us all as Gage and Alex shifted Paxton onto the dining room table. It was rectangular, a little short for him but we'll manage.

"Elle, what do we do?" Gage freaks, looking at me, "Why are you assuming I know? I don't know." I cried, feeling pressure on myself, "Because you know everything, what do we do?"

Okay think Elle, think! "O-okay. What happened? Why is he unconscious and bleeding?" I walked over to the table, Alex moving out of the way, "Wait, where's Riley?" He asked, "Bedroom closet." I rushed out, dismissing him. "He got shot with an arrow. We were l-looking around the building and the last door we go through is booby-trapped. He plucked the wire with his foot, next thing we know, there's an arrow in his chest."

I close my eyes, my stress levels are beyond high at the moment. "Okay uh, t-the medical container, Gage. I need gauze, band aids, tape, the whole thing, okay? Scissors and a n-needle and thread."

He ran out of the room and I was alone. "Hey Paxton it's Elle. I heard you got a little hurt, so I'm gonna make you all better, okay? Now this is going to sting, but I promise it'll be worth it. Because you'll be alive, okay? So, forgive me."

Gage came back into the kitchen, the container on the floor by my feet. I knelt down, shaking hands reaching in. "Gage I need a wet cloth and a towel, now." I picked up the saltine and rubbing alcohol. It looks as though the boys pulled the arrow out, "First rule of being shot or impaled, don't remove the item!" I screamed as Alex and Gage came back into the kitchen. Riley was sitting in his high chair, Alex turned him to face the window so we didn't witness this.

"Alex I need light on his wound okay, Gage, I need a cup, now."

Light was leaving us as day turned into night. As it got colder, the air got thinner and I felt myself struggling to breath, I've cleaned up his blood, making sure there's no pieces still in him. I pushed on his skin, my bare hands being coated in thick, syrup-like blood as it poured out of him.

I filled the cup with rubbing alcohol. Paxton still showed no sign of waking up. I didn't hesitate. I poured the entire cup of rubbing alcohol onto his wound. The blood washed away, falling onto the floor.

It was nowhere near ready to heal, but at least it won't cause infection, "Okay, I need the needle and uh, t-thread."

* * *

You know when you're dreaming, and you have that dream where you fall, and wake up to your own body jolting awake?

That's your minds way of making sure you're not dead. Like an aftershock for your body. When you feel your heart racing and your pulse quickening. The way you open your eyes and you adjust into darkness.

How your head feels, after getting hit with a ball, or hitting it on concrete. A little lightheaded, dazed? Confused?

I'm dizzy. I've never seen so much blood before.

I don't want to remember the past few hours. The sweat that fell from my forehead, the cold water seeping into my skin, making my clothes stiff and stale. The blood that stained my body.

Alex managed to make a stand for the light. I guess we have a temporary lamp for now.

Gage left, claiming he had to 'throw up' from the sight of it. And I don't blame him. I would too if I wasn't used to it. But I'm a girl, so.

Alex put Riley to bed, and hasn't come back yet. So I was alone with Paxton. Stitched up, alive Paxton.

I kept wriggling my fingers, trying to end the feeling of it when I pushed the needle through his skin. How it felt when I pulled the string, closing the gaping whole. The way my fingertips pressed the gauze onto his skin, pressing another band aid over top, just to be safe.

These are the types of memories that stay with you forever.

I was sitting on the chair, knees tucked right up to my head as I lay my chin on them. I was tired, and everything ached. But I was also in pain. My leg still burned from me using it, and not getting it treated. But I don't even care right now.

Paxton is the priority.

I stared at him. The only light coming from the foggy moon and the crappy torch. It shone a light over his chest, where his shirtless body came into frame. He was fit, I'll give you that. And he'll have a permanent scar, but that's just proving what we've overcome. What he's lived through.

Paxton was shot with an arrow today. I fought an army of zombies by myself, with Riley in the closet. I have a cut, the size of Africa down my calf, and I still managed to fight.

But there was a moment of weakness, on the ground today where I gave up. I physically felt myself giving up. I was alone, scared and tired. But I knew I had to fight, to give Riley something to live for. An Earth to live for.

I sound super cheesy and like I'm in a romance movie, but it's how I feel. What's the point of giving up if we've come this far??

Gage told me that the science lab blew up because no one turned off the steam machine before the zombie outbreak. Meaning, carbon and toxic fuel was being built up in one area. And with no workers and no one to do their job, it was just stuck in this one room. And eventually blew up.

"You're bleeding." I heard a croaky voice say, I look over and see Paxton, eyes open and looking at me. "Hey, you're awake." I smile, a few tears falling from my eyes, "Well I'm not dead." He said sarcastically.

I stood over him, helping him sit up, "What happened? I-I don't remember anything after opening a door." He exclaimed, hissing in pain as he sat up, "Well basically, the door was booby trapped and you were shot, with an arrow." I sighed, "Where's the arrow?" He asked, looking around, "Dumb and dumber pulled it out." I nodded, hinting towards Gage and Alex.

Paxton rolled his eyes, "I told those two idiots to never pull anything out if you've been shot. They don'y listen." I chuckled, "That's what I told them."

I got off the chair, limping towards the sink, "So, why are you bleeding? You didn't follow us right, you didn't get hurt?" Paxton asked, concern on his face. I shook my head, "There was-"

"Paxton? I thought it was you. How are you buddy? You scared us?" Gage interrupted, hugging Paxton, "Careful boys, he's fragile." Gage backed away, "How are you feeling?" Alex asked.

I popped two pain killers from the sleeve and filled up a glass with water, "Here, you're going to need these." I smiled, dropping them into his hand.

Leaving the boys alone I limped out of the kitchen and into the bathroom.

I opened the door and closed it, hearing the click of the lock.

It was around midnight now, the only light source I have is from a torch I took from my house. I'm surprised it still works, I would've thought it'd need batteries by now.

I heard them laughing and talking like old friends. And it warms my heart that Paxton is okay.

But I'm not okay. And it's selfish of me to feel this way because I don't deserve to feel sadness. I don't know why I'm putting pressure on myself and feeling this way, but I need to get over it.

I placed the torch on the bench, it lighting up the whole mirror. I stared at myself, I had dried blood all over me. Paxton's on my arms and hands. Zombie blood on my clothes and legs. My own blood on my legs. I'm a mess.

I'm a fucking mess.

I began to cry, silencing my sobs as I broke down in tears. For the first time in a long time I let myself break down, have a cry. And it felt good. To let my emotions out.

I sunk to the floor, my back against the cool tile of the wall.

I feel really shitty.

* * *

hi

this chapter is so sad to me idk why :(

anyway, stay safe and happy reading!!