T/W- Passive mention of suicide, self-harm and mental health.

Vikram was excited to go back to school. In fact, he was looking forward to it so much that he even had breakfast before leaving his house. He galloped his way across the hallways that were occupied today because he had come on time, rather than being an hour early. He went inside his classroom and found Aditya and Shruti already on their seats.

He paused. Didn't Aditya break up with Shruti yet?

Well, Vikram didn't care. He could do it whenever he saw fit.

"Good morning." he said as he hopped to his seat and dropped.

"Did you hit your head while coming to school today?" Shruti asked in annoyance.

"No." Vikram said, not caring about her reaction.

"Then why are you so chirpy this morning?" Shruti asked.

"No reason." Vikram said, smiling. He noticed Aditya was carrying his new bag to school and it added to the list of reasons why he was happy, primary of which was that Vikram now had a girlfriend.

"Hey." Vikram said, turning to Aditya but he didn't get a response.

Just as he was about to ask what was up, Ruvee showed up.

"Hey guys." Ruvee said, beaming.

Vikram noticed her eyes were fixed on him and that she was glowing. Vikram smiled at her.

"I missed you." Ruvee suddenly added, taking Vikram by surprise.

"What?" Ruvee asked when she saw his reaction. "I can't even tell my boyfriend I missed him?"

"Your what?" came a loud voice and Vikram turned to see Shruti's jaw flung open like she had seen a ghost.

"My boyfriend." Ruvee said and leaned against Vikram's arm.

Vikram heard a sudden snap, like the breaking of a pencil in two and then, Aditya stood up and stormed out of the classroom without a single word.

"What's wrong with him?" Vikram asked.

"Go find out." Shruti said, turning to Vikram.

"Why do I have to find out? You're his girlfriend, you go find out."

Shruti scowled at Vikram but Ruvee nudged him in the arm. "I think you should go after him." she said and Vikram sighs, nodding and standing up.

"Oh, now you want to go when you girlfriend asks you to."

Vikram gritted his teeth at Shruti and turned towards the door quickly to follow Aditya.

He went around the entire building, running around, looking for Aditya, only to find him in the fields, running laps. Again?

Vikram called Aditya's name twice, pretty sure the entire school would have heard him but Aditya didn't seem bothered. When Aditya went around in a circle only to pass Vikram, Aditya didn't even look at him when he tried to strike up a conversation.

Sighing, and unable to understand why Aditya was suddenly behaving this way, Vikram decided to run after him.

Big mistake.

Vikram's legs were shorter than Aditya's so he had to use double force to run beside him. And it didn't help that Vikram had never, in his life, run before.

"What is wrong with you?" Vikram asked, running beside Aditya and imitating the way he bent his hands in front of his chest while running. Maybe it was more efficient.

Aditya did not answer. Instead, he kept running.

"Aditya." Vikram said, beginning to pan already. How did Aditya do this every day? "I am talking to you."

"What do you want?" Aditya asked, keeping his stride on. He sounded angry.

"Why are you mad?" Vikram asked.

"When did you start dating Ruvee?"

Vikram stopped on his tracks. So this was what his anger was about?

Noticing that Vikram wasn't running anymore, Aditya stopped, turned and walked towards him. "When did you and Ruvee start dating?" he asked again.

"Fairly recently." Vikram said, hands dropping to his knees and gasping for air. "Is that what you're angry about?"

"How?"

"How what, Aditya?"

"How did it start?"

Vikram stood up, hands on his hips and heaved heavily. "I don't know." he began. "We were talking and we kissed... well she kissed me and... that's it I guess."

"Did you kiss her back?"

Vikram laughed and cocked his head to the right. "Of course I kissed her back. What kind of idiot doesn't kiss a girl back?"

Aditya's jaw clenched. "You tell me."

Vikram looked at Aditya, more carefully this time. There was something that was bothering him. But Vikram couldn't quite put a pin on it.

"What is this about, Aditya?" he asked after a while.

"Do you like Ruvee?" Aditya asked out of the blue.

Vikram blinked. He hadn't really thought of that but now that Aditya had asked him, he slowly nodded his head. "Yeah" he said softly. "I think I actually do."

The moment Vikram said those words, Aditya turned away, out of the field and into the school building.

By the time Vikram reached the classroom, he found out that Aditya had already picked his things up and had left for the day, saying he wasn't feeling too well.

It was kind of strange, Vikram thought, to see Aditya behave this weirdly. It had been a week now and he didn't speak to Vikram more than necessary. The anger had been reduced to nothing and there were no direct indications that Aditya was annoyed by Vikram. He would answer when asked a question and reply when necessary but Vikram couldn't help but feel there was something missing.

It was probably something very subtle, or perhaps nothing at all because no one else noticed apart from Vikram. It was like Aditya was there with them, but his mind was somewhere else. He wouldn't answer unless you called him twice, he wouldn't pay attention to what anyone said and at one occasion, he had even failed to answer the teacher's question. That was a surprise to everyone in the classroom but the teacher dismissed it, saying he was just distracted.

But only Vikram knew it was more than that. He just didn't know what it was.

Every time he tried to talk to Aditya about it, Aditya would excuse himself saying he had practice or something else to do which he never really explained to Vikram.

A month went by, with Vikram waiting for Aditya to come around and talk to him like it was before but that never happened. Then, things escalated even more.

They were all in the cafeteria at lunch hour on a Saturday when shit actually went down. For the past month, Vikram was happily invested in his relationship with Ruvee. She was the most brilliant girl Vikram had ever come across. Ruvee was strong-minded, didn't take crap from anyone, spoke her mind, which made Vikram believe that the only reason she had no friends was not because she was at fault, but because others didn't like to be told the truth to their faces. Ruvee was very clear with what she wanted to do in life and that inspired Vikram as well. But what Vikram absolutely adored about her was the fact that she was fiercely independent. If there was something that needed to be done, Ruvee got it done herself.

The more days Vikram spent with Ruvee, the more he tried not to be bothered by Aditya's behavior.

But it was impossible.

He had come to realize that after everything that had happened, Aditya's friendship was as important to Vikram as Ruvee's relationship with him. And that he didn't want to lose either.

They had just finished eating their lunches and were about to return back to the classroom when it was Shruti, who who spoke first.

"Aditya..." she said, stopping him as he was about to get up. "We need to talk."

Vikram and Ruvee were already picking up their plates from the table.

"Okay." Aditya said and sat back down.

"I don't think it's working between us." she said, casually as she handed her plate to Vikram.

Vikram looked at Ruvee and then at Aditya. There were other people around their table and they had started noticing them too.

"I think we should leave them alone." Ruvee suggested but Shruti shook her head.

"You guys can stay, there's not much to say anyway." Shruti said and turned to Aditya, "I think we should break up."

"Okay." Aditya said, casually and for a second, Shruti was shocked. She had expected more than just an okay.

"I know you don't love me and besides, I don't feel any spark between us."

Wow! Vikram thought. Shruti was really cruel.

"Hmm." Aditya said in a low voice and got up to retire to the living room. He definitely didn't seem affected by it all. Then again, he had wanted to break up with Shruti since over a month now. "Is that all?" Aditya asked before he could walk away.

But his indifference stirred something ugly inside of Shruti.

"I think you should stop hanging out with us."

"Shruti!" Vikram said. "What is wrong with you?"

Shruti turned to him. "The only reason he's allowed to be with us is because he was my boyfriend. Which he is not. So it's only right that he leaves."

"No one's leaving." Ruvee said. "You don't own the cafeteria or the school. Aditya can be wherever he wants to be and whoever he wants to be with."

Shruti scoffed. "Stop being delusional, Ruvee. If it weren't for me, no one would even look his way."

"Fine," Aditya said before anyone would counter Shruti. "I'll stop hanging out with you guys."

"No you will not" Ruvee said and walked up to him. "You are not moving an inch, Aditya."

"Why do you care?" Shruti asked, agitated that Ruvee was taking Aditya's side.

"I care because he's my friend."

Everyone at the cafeteria was looking at them now and Vikram felt a sudden awkwardness with everything that was going on.

Ruvee's words made Shruti laugh. "Friend?" she asked and turned to Aditya. "Did you tell your friends the truth about your dad?"

Vikram noticed Aditya's fingers curling into tight fists. But he didn't say anything.

Shruti looked at Ruvee and then at Vikram. "Did he tell you how his dad died?"

What was this about? Vikram wondered. Everyone knew about Aditya's dad. That he had died of a heart attack. So what was Shruti going on about? And why was she doing this here? In front of everyone?

Vikram looked at Aditya for a second he could see that Aditya was fighting back his anger. But he was hanging by thread. Vikram had never seen him like this. Aditya looked broken.

"Aditya..." Vikram said, softly, wanting to tell him that he didn't care, that he will never care and that he didn't even want to know the truth but before he could, Shruti spoke up.

"People think he died of a heart attack, but the truth is..."

There was a strange silence in the cafeteria and a weird tension hung in the air before Shruti spoke the final words.

And once they were out, Vikram felt the impact of a truck hitting him. Something happened, someone said something, there was a loud noise, like the door had been shut suddenly and then another perhaps. Vikram didn't know. He didn't see or hear anyone after what Shruti had said.

His eyes looked for Aditya but he was nowhere in the view. Vikram wanted to run to the classroom to see if he was there, or the library or the field but his feet failed him. He wanted to tell Aditya that it was okay, that it didn't matter that they knew. That it would never matter what Shruti or anyone told him because as long Aditya was with him, he didn't care what secrets he hid.

But Aditya wasn't there.

The only thing that remained were Shruti's last words in the open. "... the truth is... Aditya's father killed himself in the jail. He hung himself to death."

Aditya was nowhere to be found. Vikram knew because he had searched every inch of the school. Everywhere he went, he heard whispers. Vikram knew they all were talking about Aditya and his father and every time Vikram passed by, they'd hush their voices.

Anything else, and Vikram would have run away, into the comfort of his clubroom or his house, where these people and their whispers didn't reach him but today, he wouldn't do that. Despite knowing that they were all talking about him too, Vikram decided not to let it get to his head. There was something more important than Vikram's discomfort- Aditya.

Vikram was about to give up, thinking Aditya had probably just gone home but then, it occurred him where Aditya might be.

Vikram had never walked to the lake on his own. The only other time he was here was with Aditya who had led the way. Today, the road seemed confusing and he left lost. It took Vikram more than it should to reach the lake but once he did, he was glad.

Because there Aditya was, sitting on his own, looking out into the waters.

Vikram quietly walked up and took a seat next to him, curling his knees to his chest and resting his hands on them.

For the longest time, neither said anything. They just sat in this comfortable silence, looking out at everything at nothing at all.

"My dad was depressed." Aditya spoke after a while. "But I figured it out too late."

Vikram looked at him, he had not expected Aditya to say anything. "Aditya, you don't have to explain."

Aditya shook his head. "I am not explaining. I'm just..." he paused for a moment. "Letting it all out."

Vikram gave him an encouraging nod.

"It was weird, you know?" Aditya asked, "Hearing the words."

"How so?"

Aditya shrugged. "I know what had happened, so did my uncle but since it happened inside his cell, no one actually knew the truth except us. My uncle told everyone it was a heart attack and people believed him. I think I did too. It was easier to believe that he died of a heart attack than to believe that he actually killed himself"

"Aditya..." Vikram whispered, he didn't know what else to say. No amount of condolence would even begin to cover it.

"It's not like I hid it on purpose." Aditya went on and Vikram shook his head.

"No, Aditya, none of this is your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Didn't I?" he asked. "For over a year I've tried to deny that my father had committed suicide. How is that right?"

"You loved your father, you probably wanted to remember him like he always was, happy and cheerful. You don't have to feel guilty about it."

"But I do." Aditya said, wiping tears away from his eyes. "I do feel guilty. Because maybe I could have helped him."

"What could you have done, Aditya?" Vikram asked. "You didn't know."

Aditya shook his head as more tears fell from his eyes. "I was so angry at him, Vikram." Aditya confessed. "I was so mad at him for going to jail and leaving me alone out here. At first, I even refused to visit him in his cell. I didn't go for a month. And when I did, I saw him change every week. The smile he had every time he saw me, slowly faded away. Each week, he looked thinner and thinner until one day, he seemed unrecognizable. The spark in his eyes died in front of me. The man was full of life. And he was reduced to a shell that only breathed. He left me soon after that."

Vikram felt his own tears stroll down his face when he saw Aditya like this. "How could you have known it would come to this?" Vikram asked, trying to fight his tears away.

"I should have." Aditya said. "I was his son. How did I not see it when I saw him deteriorate in front of me?"

Aditya was sobbing and all Vikram wanted was to turn back time to save him from this pain, this suffering, to bring his father back.

"Sometimes I think it's my fault. If I had recognized the signs sooner, maybe I could have saved him."

Vikram took Aditya's hand in his and gently rubbing his fingers against the back of Aditya's palm. "Aditya, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. You couldn't have possibly known what was going to happen next."

Aditya pulled his hand away from Vikram's and shook his head.

"My dad always made sure I wasn't stressing myself too much. During exams, he would come to my room and take the books away from me, saying I had studied enough and that having a good rest was more important. He always made sure he was available to talk to in case something was bothering me or was on my mind but what about me? I never asked him that. I never told him that he too, could talk to me if things got too much to handle."

Aditya was hurting in ways that were unimaginable to Vikram but the ache he felt in his own heart, was making it impossible for Vikram to breathe.

How could he possibly comfort Aditya? How could he make him believe that even though he thought he was alone, that wasn't the case. And it never would be as long as Vikram was around.

In hopes of assuring Aditya that Vikram wouldn't abandon him, just like Shruti had done a few minutes ago, Vikram placed his hand on the side of Aditya's face, turning him to face Vikram.

For a second, his eyes locked on Vikram but then, Aditya closed his eyes. Vikram pulled him near until his head was rested on Vikram's shoulder.

If there were words that Vikram could say to him, to make him stop hurting, he would say them all to Aditya. But nothing could ever compensate for the loss he had faced. Aditya was grieving, so Vikram let him. The least he could do was to let Aditya be comfortable in letting all his emotions out.

God only knew how long he had held on to the things Aditya had felt inside. For him, and only for him, Vikram stayed still, letting Aditya know that this was a safe place for him to be, in the familiar confines of each other and that Vikram would stay here until all Aditya's tears were exhausted. Until he stopped hurting. And Vikram didn't care how long it would take.

Sometime in the late afternoon, Aditya composed himself. He pulled away from Vikram, eyes travelled to Vikram's face.

"Your freckles." Aditya said, looking at them, "They've gotten darker."

Vikram's hands ran to his face as he tried to hide them. "Yeah that happens when I'm in the sun."

Aditya's took Vikram's hand in his and pulled them down. "Why are you hiding them?"

Suddenly, Vikram felt exposed. "They're just... weird."

"No," Aditya said, "They're not."

Vikram looked at him and found Aditya staring into his eyes. "We... erm... we should get back." Vikram said.

Aditya nodded and let go of Vikram's hand. "You should go. I want to stay a little longer."

He thought Vikram would leave when he said that but he didn't move. Instead, Vikram turned towards the lake and settled back, popping himself on his elbows.

"I'm staying too."

Aditya smiled but Vikram could still see the hurt in his eyes. He lied down on the ground and Vikram followed, right next to him.

It was a cloudy day. The sun was harsh but the clouds were beginning to rush in to hide it. Aditya lay still, staring up at the clouds as Vikram's eyes were busy watching him and only him.

Vikram liked being here, by the water in the serene tranquillity of nature with no one to disturb him and propel him back into the complexities of life.

"Do you think life ever stops being complicated?" Vikram asked after a while.

Aditya breathed heavily as he lay there with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. There was a sense of calmness on Aditya's face that struck Vikram. Maybe he had been hanging on to the words he had just let out, for too long. Maybe now that he had found a release, it was easier for him to just... be.

"I don't know." Aditya said. "But I think it gets easier to deal with."