Shaun cooks me ice cream it's all melts so it dribbles down my face and his shirt (I'm wearing his shirt ;))

"See, I've been thinking, although I've tied your mother up I still kinda like her"

Ummm..... ok

" can I sleep with both of you?"

Ewww no I'm into some weird stuff but not that!

"No not at the same time (but I am open to that if you change your mind 😉) - separately?"

I start to cry - now my ice cream is really wet. Now I'm mad!

I Yell at him till he leaves running out the house in his boxers.

Now I'm horny!

No! Now I'm hungry!

What is going on!

I take out a pregnancy tester from the box of pregnancy testers in the sitting room.

I pee right there and then!

I wait

Positive!

I run downstairs untie my mum an£ tell her she's so happy

"I'm so happy - I'm gonna be a grandmother!,!"

Do I tell Shaun?

*

*

*

I charge upstairs and see Shaun filming a free science lesson video.

'I got pregnant from your erect nipple' I scream.

'Good boy' Shaun says. He sounds different through?

But he seems happy so we have full unprotected anal sex because I'm pregnant anyway

My anus prolapsed 8 times!! It was fully hanging out so I had to stuff it back in after. Hopefully I got the right hole!

Suddenly, Shaun Donnelly bursts in.

If that's Shaun, then who did I have sex with??!!

'What are you doing with my pet parrot who looks suspiciously like me?!!'

OH NO!!

I had sex with Shaun's parrot!!

*

*

*

I..I.. I don't know what to say to feel, it felt so good but the horror of it all is all I can think of. I run to my room and lock it. I was so confused, who has a pet parrot that looks exact like them🤯. I never do know what's going on in that big sexy brain of his 🧐🧐🤓🤭🤭.

I go to sleep and hope that this is all just a bad dream!

*

*

*

I walk into school, and check my time table. UGH today of all days it had to be science. I creep into the lesson, head hung low, and slink into my seat next to JC ugh this couldn't get any worse! Shauny walks in, ugh he looks perfect but I still don't feel comfortable WHO TF HAS A PARROT THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELF!!! We link eyes and he winks at me😏, he continues his lesson on the male reproductive organs ;)

*

*

*

Half way through the lesson, I look at James and then start crying

'Omg babes wtf is wrong tell me e v e r y th ing'

I look at his betrayerous eyes and suddenly what he did doesn't seem so bad, I did the same after all

I start weeping

'OmG jAmes basically I did it with Shaun but not really because it was his parrot who tbh does it better and I oop-'

I cut off as I realise the truth. Shawn's parrot lookalike gave better sex c times than Shawn!! WTF

I stand up. Everyone in the class looks at me, James winks and says

'Go get it girl'

I run out to pronounce my love to my feathery friend🧡💛💚💙💕❣️💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️