" I said, "I need to talk to you."

While my entire relationship with the Slytherin boy was one in secret, sneaking halfway across the school past curfew was one of the most dangerous tasks I had to do in order to see him. But I didn't care. I'd been through that journey more often than you'd think, so I didn't even need to bring the ring to get the snake guard to let me through.

Draco was curled up into his blankets, rubbing his eyes when he heard me speak.

"[y/n]?" he yawned, his voice cracking in exhaustion.

"It's me."

"It's so late, darling, why are you up?"

"Because we need to talk."

We did need to talk, because I couldn't sleep out of guilt. And curiosity. And guilty curiosity that I couldn't help but think about every time I closed my eyes. I hoped to catch him at dinner, but he never showed up.

The boy yawned again, outstretching his left arm towards me, "come here."

I tilted my head, too distracted by a passing fish to process his words, "where?"

I could sense his sarcastic look of disappointment even through the darkness, one that was probably thinking 'you've got to be joking me'. I watched him pat the empty space of mattress next to him, rolling over to make more room.

"Come lay by me," he mumbled, "it's too late for you to go back to your room anyways."

Nodding my head, I made my way over to his side of the room. I felt bad for waking him, but the urge to talk was just too consuming to ignore. I climbed under the satin covers, my bare thighs sliding across the cold fabric; sometimes I forgot he could afford such lavish things, and it made me feel funny. Once I had stopped moving, Draco wrapped one of his arms around me, tucking his head into the crook of my shoulder.

He yawned for the third time.

"Talk me me, then," he sighed quietly, "I'm listening."

I debated whether this was a good idea, since the news had spread around the school like wildfire (and he had seen it first hand), but I had to let him know my response.

"Harry asked me to the Yule Ball," I said, biting my lip nervously.

Draco winced, "I saw."

"I told him no."

I could sense the chills run down the boy's spine. He tightened his grip around me, and I brushed my fingers against his forearm to bring whatever comfort I could bring him. He hated it when I brought up Harry. It was a well known fact by now.

"Why didn't you tell him yes?" Draco mumbled into his pillow.

I paused.

"Because I was hoping..." I said quietly, "someone else would ask me."

There was a moment of silence.

Not the usual silence, but the one where you knew that there were barely any thoughts hanging in the air. Maybe it was because we were tired—exhausted from lack of sleep— but also tired of hiding for so long. Hiding from everyone's watchful eyes and sly judgement.

"[y/n], you know I can't do that," he finally said, "I can't ask you."

A part of me knew he'd say that.

I rolled onto my other side so I could stare at his eyes in the darkness. He looked sad and tired, a result of being empty for so long, and even though I wished I could fill that space for him, things got in the way.

"Then why did you have that rose?" I said, "the one in the courtyard."

"You saw that?"

"I saw it."

Another pause.

"It was foolish of me," he sighed, "I guess I got so caught up in the excitement of it all, I forgot we were...us."

Us.

It was supposed to be a word that meant we were together, and that everything was fine, and that we would be by each other's side for the rest of our whole damn lives—and we were, hopefully— but it was just so bloody unfair. It was unfair!

And I know someone out there in the world would probably say 'well, why don't you just tell the truth?' or 'it's not a big deal', but it was a big deal. It didn't matter if one simple person accepted us out of the 'good of their heart', it was that fact that my pure existence put Draco in danger, and his existence put my friendships in danger.

His family was not forgiving.

But...I still had hope.

"Why didn't you ask?" I mumbled, "we don't have to go to the ball together, but it would be nice to know that you wanted to go with me."

Draco muttered something under his breath.

"I do want to go with you, but we both know I can't ask," he said, placing his hand on my cheek, "we made rules, and even though they're stupid, it's to stop someone from getting hurt."

"I hate rules," I said.

"You wouldn't have met me if it wasn't for them."

I stared at him, and he stared back, the only sounds in the dark room being the soft exhales of breath.

I knew he was tired of hiding, and so was I, but we both knew what would happen if we were to stop. We were too scared of losing what we had to take that risk. Cedric, Harry, Penelope Clearwater and her friends, Draco's family...they were standing proof that acceptance wasn't something you automatically had.

And even if you were to fight for it, you'd lose.

"Draco..." I whispered, wrapping myself into his arms, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because if I was any other girl, you wouldn't have to go through this."

He kissed the top of my forehead, the warmth of his breath balancing the chill of his room.

"But if you were any other girl," he said, his voice light, "I don't think I'd ever feel as happy as I do now."

I paused, letting the silence drown us as his words sunk through my skin. He was happy. He said he was happy, and it made me feel like everything was all right with the world, even if our world wasn't the same as the world around us.

But I had one last thing to say.

"Draco?" I muttered, feeling myself slowly get pulling to the darkness of sleep, "one more thing."

He nodded his head, "hm?"

And for a moment, I felt nothing but peace. A sort of serenity that could only be shared with someone who understood me, and cared for me, and would go out of their way just to be with me. And that person was him.

"If you asked me, I would have said yes anyways."

_