So today is the day I'm finally fucking day that I lose that fucking ankle monitor bullshit. I've never been really "free" my entire life. I'm always getting locked up or I'm in a shit relationship or other shit, you know? But after this, I, Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, vow to set an example to myself, vow to get my motherfuckin life together. I swear over the bib- actually no I don't. Symere hates the Bible. I was catching up with Symere because I've never really talked to Symere, even back in high school, once upon a time. We had lunch at this restaurant and during that little date, i've learned a lot of shit about Symere that makes my dick want to jump out of my pants.

So Symere, hows life been treating you?

Nice for the most part. I have this group that I lead.

Oh that's nice..what do y'all do?

We like.. burn bibles and shit, and we like set crucifixes on fire, or if we see one we turn it upside down.

....excuse me? Bibles? On fire?

Yeah man, it's nothing. I don't really do all that fire shit though, some of the niggas in there are just there for the weed and shit.

...Oh okay. Okay. Uh..that's good you found some people like you..not like it's a good thing...

Yeah bruh, it's pretty cool. Anyway, what about you?

That's a never again experience. I never want to be alone with Symere again, he might shove a flaming crucifix up my ass. That whole lunch date we had mostly consisted of talking about his cult. That's what it is, a fucking cult. I mean I was intrigued and all..how he just talks about it like he's talking about the weather. But when he's not talking about Satan he's actually a pretty good going dude. We talked about the rest of the guys and I think he spilled more tea than he really should've.

So he's the first one to know I'm gay. He seems cool with it, and doesn't look at me any different. I just hope he doesn't kidnap end sacrifice me to anyone.

Next was catching up with Gazzy. If I had to describe him, he'd be the dumb dumb of the group. But like a good dumb, not a severely stupid person. He's pretty funny too, don't know if he's trying or not. We went to this bar near downtown Miami. I learned that it's pretty hard to understand to Gazzy sometimes. He makes you learn things you know you knew but suddenly you don't. Does that make sense? No?

So Gazzy..it's been a long time since I've talked to you. How's life going?

Life's been good, Jeremy. How about you?

...uh, it's okay so far. It's been a long time since high school, huh?

Yeah like 10 months

Years, Gazzy.

Right, right. Sorry Jericho I'm out of it today.

It's alright...we all have those days. Um..yeah so have you planned anything exciting lately?

No not really. I'm usually with Stokeley, Omar, Jared and Symere, watching Jared And Stokeley fight about stupid shit.

What do they fight about?

They fought once about Cardi B and Blac Chyna and which could our strip the other. I'm just like one China is a country and doesn't strip.

Yeah..yeah..right.

Anyway, Jamari, how about your life?

Keeping up was a little hard, like I lost it when he called me Jeremy. Is it really that hard to remember my name? J A H S E H? I mean my names pretty unique comparing it to Jeremy. I probably would forget my name if I met me. Like huh? Jericho was it? But yeah he's the second to know I'm gay. He was really surprised like 'you don't LOOK gay' like sis what does gay look like?

So next was catching up with Omar. He was a very fun guy and he could keep a conversation going. One thing though, he was a VERY tall man. Like I'm like 5'6 which isn't very tall, Omar is like 6 foot something. So I was like talking to his belly button. But honestly I didn't mind because we went laser tagging and this nigga "hiding" is like an elephant hiding behind a tree.

After all that, we decided that it's time to rest and get something to eat before we depart.

How you been doing since high school, Omar?

Alright I guess, I've been jumping around from job to job and shit it's kinda exhausting. I'm glad I still have the same group of friends though.

That's nice. What was your last job?

Taco Bell

What now?

Strip Club Security. Now before you start asking how I came from working at Taco Bell to a strip club, I just wanted a more exciting job.

Well is it?

Of course it is, I get to push around niggas that piss me off.

Omar is a pretty interesting guy. He's the type that I could really just talk to if my day is shit, (sorry Miles, I love you) and if I want a good laugh. He's the next to know I'm gay. I'm kinda disappointed I told him because he said that he was going to get me into the strip club free, but overall he doesn't mind, he's just happy we got to be in touch again.

Next up was Jared. Literally took me like forever to get to Jared about catching up, he's so indecisive. SO INDECISIVE. But we settled on Olive Garden. He's changed since he used to help me with my classes in high school. He has a nose ring and these faded green dreads. I really like them. Better than how this nigga used to to look in high school. The nigga looked like Carlton from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air..

Any motha fuckin way, that picture cracks me the fuck up every time I look at it.

But this guy has every video and picture on his phone, like, he records everything, screen records everything, saves EVERYTHING. Like he has the video where I beat up that nigga Shayaa, and he has the video where Miles is embracing his inner monkey.

Yeah so he kept saying "70" is the right answer. The video is longer than it seems bc I had to trim it but we stood there asking him for a good 20 minutes.

Aw Gazzy looked so different with his natural hair.

Nah, nigga looked 12.

Jared, you're disrespectful. You looked like a whole 35 year old stepfather in high school. Anyway, how is your life going?

Life is shit because I can't decide if I want to go to college or not. It's been a decision on my head for a little bit.

You're 23 now?

Yes.

Well it's not ever too late to go back to school, it can be good for you.

The thing is I won't have shit to record. Like mature ass niggas don't fight or do dumb shit that I can look back to.

Nigga, you don't need to record everything.....and you're recording me right now.

No....yes.

Deadass the weirdest guy ever. But I know who to call when I need someone to do little video photoshoots of anything. He should just hire as a camera man. I don't know how he hasn't thought of that yet. He's a pretty nice dude to talk to though. He sends me really questionable memes. They're funny yes, but it's so simple that I realize that nowadays people laugh at anything. Dark humor or not.

But you know the drill, he the next one to know I'm gay. Nigga tried to record me coming out to him because "he wants to commemorate the moment forever." Like boy if you don't get yo ass out of here. I will go back into my closet if I have to. But you know who's last.

Stokeley

I saved him for last because I've already really gotten to know him. It's easier now because for like a week he didn't tell me his name at all. I had to avoid sentence that I might have to use his name. Glad he finally told me or else we'd probably be at our wedding and the nigga would be like

Do you, Jahseh Onfroy, take Stokeley to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Wait, that's his name?

But yeah. Why I used a wedding scenario? I might have a little crush on him. But that's only because I haven't had dick in a while. A long while.

That doesn't necessarily mean that Stokeley is gay, but I must have to work my Jahseh magic and at least try to force this nigga out of the closet that was to never be there.

I fucked this one "straight" dude because I genuinely made him think that he was gay. He was panicking and thinking about what his friends and parents would say. I was just like dude if you care about what other people are gong to say you're never gong to be happy with yourself.

Nonetheless the guy ended up getting married to a fucking girl and invited me to his wedding. I ended up fucking him in the bridal closet without caring about getting caught or anything because I didn't give a fuck about the wedding to begin with.

Scandalous ass gay shit that Miles has to suffer hearing.

Okay so I already know a little bit about Stokeley because since we had out little reunion and shit he's been non stop talking to me. My inner gayness tingles around him..it's just hidden by an intimidating face. This face never gets me dick..always female.

I DONT FUCK WITH WOMEN! IN MY BIG SEAN VOICE! Last time I fucked with one of those bitches, she ruined my life. If I ever said it once, I'll say it again. Women are absolutely beautiful. Don't ever get me wrong, I find a lot of girls I've seen beautiful or attractive but oh fucking well. My dick likes dick.

Oh man, my apartment is actually clear of any Omars, Jareds, Gazzys or Demons.

This afternoon was a very slow one. Today was my last day working at the animal shelter and shit. So now I'm an unemployed piece of shit that has to pay rent in a few weeks.

I really need to get Omar to get me a position as security at the strip because I need the fucking money or else I'm going to be homeless. And I need to get my mind off of things because I'm stressed and I'm getting old. A nigga needs to let loose.

As I'm switching through channels and getting through my last bits of chips I feel a vibration from my pocket. The vibration is long so I know it's a text message. I pull out it out and look at who it's from. It's Jahseh. My attention shifts from the TV to my phone as I read his message.

My eyes widened as a smirked a little bit. I don't have any other shit to do so I might as well. I know I been rambling on to him lately but it's just because I'm glad that I'm in touch with him.

And he saved the best for last?

😭

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Why do I feel like I'm going on a day with a girl. I haven't been in relationship with a girl for a long ass time. Is it for turning gay?

I don't think you can necessarily turn gay, Stokeley. I wouldn't be into it and then it would all be chaos and I'd be wasting dudes time. Why am I thinking about this?

Bruh. Why I feel like I'm getting ready for a date? That shit is having my heart running cross country, I can't fucking breathe.

No I don't have a crush on Stokeley it's just.. I don't know how to tel him I'm gay. If he's going to be my friend he deserves to know, I can't just keep it from him. Shit. Okay so I told him to come over that's already sus as shit. Then I said "I saved the best for last" like Jahseh you're gay is showing. Just like Miles says all the time when I check out dudes or around him.

Jahseh calm yo fat ass, he probably don't even think nothing of it and genuinely just wants to hang out as friends. Why do I always get that stupid ass feelings of "butterflies" and shit when I like someone. But..I don't like him so I don't get it. I'm just nervous. Because this nigga is here. Wait he is?!

I jumped out of my zones our stage as I heard someone open the door of my apartment. I freeze up but I end up managing to turn around to see who it is, and it was just who I thought it was.

"Oh. Hey. Sorry to scare you. You told me to help myself in." He says coming in and closing the door. Not gonna lie, Stokeley looked like a whole fucking snack. He was wearing this black shirt and black ripped jeans with a red durag. He looked good as hell but I can't be gay tonight, I can't. Control yourself, Onfroy.

I'm only wearing my bape shorts and some socks, I don't even have a shirt on. Oh well it's too late now, he's already here.

I turn around and give a weird fucking smile. Like that smile white people give when they pass you on the street.

Yeah, that bullshit.

He comes over and daps me up and sits on the couch typing away on his phone. There's just this awkward silence filling the room that's like loud. Like you ever been in a room that's super quiet that it's loud? No?

I go to sit next to him and lean back on the chair and slightly look at what this nigga is doin on his phone. I'm not the nosy type but this guy is typing a whole testimony on his shit.

"How's life?" I finally mustard the courage to ask because the silence is getting really awkward. He gets off his phone and looks over at me. "It's alright. Today was my last day working that animal shelter shit, so I'm unemployed. Which sucks because a nigga gotta pay rent soon." He says laughing slightly at the end.

I laugh along with him and pat him on the back. "You'll make it." "With what money, nigga?" He asks. "Why don't you just look around for a job?" "That's too much work." Didn't you just say you were unemployed? Talkin bout "work."

"Negro, what work you talking bout?" I ask. He laughs and sniffles a little bit. Giving me a little playful punch. "Where you work at?" He asks me. "Oh so you can come bother me and see if I can give you free snacks?" I say twisting my dreads. "Guilty." He says. I shake my head while laughing, switching along the dreads on my head. "7-eleven." I say.

"You work at 7 eleven? Why I never see you there? I always see your red headed friend. What's his name?"

"Miles? And it's because I've been on house arrest for a while and I don't want to come to work most of the time." I say grabbing the remote and switching the channels. "Why you don't go into work? You need new money."

Nigga why does he sound like Miles? "JaHsEh CoMe InTo WoRk. YoU NeEd ThAt NeW MoNeY."

Anyway we didn't even talk about life, the whole time he was there it consisted of us talking about stupid shit that come to our mind. The nigga pressured me to smoke weed. I don't smoke weed because I start thinking about shit that fucks my head up to a point where I have a headache. We started talking about weird shit, like why is the word "Canine" spelled with a "C" but the first syllable sounds like "Kay" so it should be spelled "Kanine" right? Or who thought the word "A" should be the first letter of the alphabet? Or if you had to describe the taste of water, what would it be?

"Stokeley, nigga, bruh if yo leg gets cut off, will it hurt?" I say blowing the smoke out as I look at him, waiting for his answer. He looks at me confused. "Yeah, duh. Of course it would hurt." He says. "B-But. Where would you feel the pain?" I say laughing in between words. "In your le-" He continues to say but cuts off. He sits up and looks at me. "Exactly bruh. You can't feel the pain in yo leg if yo leg is gone." I say.

"Aye bruh but I got better one. Clapping is hitting yourself repeatedly because you like something." He says. Of course that triggered us to start clapping like a bunch of fucking idiots.

"Oh wait, look, in order to go to sleep, you have to pretend to be asleep." I say. "Nigga that's crazy." Stokeley says, genuinely surprised. "I know right. And you know, nothing is on fire, fire is on things." I say making Stokeley get up and look around like he lost something. "Bruh, then why do niggas say shit is on fire, but never fire is on that?"

"Nigga I don't know, but it's a fucking weird ass thought..where do you buy your weed?"

You have a good idea of how that whole afternoon went. All the way into the late nights.

I jolted awake, feeling an aching pain in my neck because of my position of sleeping on the couch. I look around and see Stokeley slumped right next to me in a similar position. I check the time, 6:32 am. I don't even remember blacking out. All I remember is Stokeley and I blowing each others minds with stupid high thoughts. This is why I don't smoke. Don't do drugs kids.

Nigga was slumped as shit though. I could barely keep my eyes open because I was just dizzy as hell. Guess I'm still high on that devils lettuce. I sit up and wait for the dizziness to wear off and it did for the most part. Enough for me to be able to get up. I pick up my phone and see a recent text from Miles.

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