Day 93: July 10th, Saturday

BREN

Jun stood waiting below the ladder while I climbed down, eyes darting back and forth between me and the parking garage where Logan had entered. Thankfully, he didn't ask what was said between Logan and me or what the fuck had happened, especially where my lips had almost touched...

"The others are almost ready," said Jun, breaking me out of the mental image, which was still fresh in my mind, like I was still there, could still feel his touch, his breath...

"Okay," was all I could manage.

Jun looked at me for a second, then nodded. I felt a little self-conscious that he's probably judging me. The silent ones were always the most irritating, the ones that were hard to shake off. Of course, it was better if Jun said it to my face, but I wouldn't ask for it. No way. And I am not letting Jun judge me for what happened between Logan and me.

I think I had too much to drink, Logan had said.

Well, did he?

"What are we going to do with Randy? Hours passed. A lot can happen," Jun asked.

Yes. Problems. Things I can solve right now. Something that could distract me. "Let's keep an eye out. I don't want to give them weapons yet even though they had asked for it."

"Hm."

I paused. "Do you have something?"

"It's better to give them weapons. We are entering a big city, and eight of us can't protect twenty-seven other people simultaneously."

I nodded. I was afraid of that. "Then, we spread out. I don't want to, but we have no choice. At least we can give guns to those we trust the most and know how to use them. I don't want an accidental bullet lodged on my back."

"Trust?"

"Within reason, of course."

"Then I will make a careful list for your consideration in a few minutes."

"Uh, thanks, Jun. But that won't be necessary."

"No, please. Allow me."

"Well, alright. Just be discreet about it. I don't want them to think I'm picking favorites."

"But we are."

"Yes...but, I don't want them to think I am."

Jun paused to think about it. "Oh. Okay."

Problems. Problems to solve. Yes, good.

My thoughts went to Logan again. How was he feeling now? He fucking tried to kiss me. Did I dream all that? No. I most certainly did not. I was tempted to ask Jun to pinch me, but that's too overdramatic, and he would only ask more questions. I sucked it up and strode toward the parking garage, following Logan's trail while Jun walked with me. Should I pretend nothing happened? I wondered.

Yes.

I fucking should. Oh, God. This is gonna be awkward.

Once we reached the upper floor, everyone was packed and ready, though some were still finishing their breakfast. I was glad they had cleaned out the pot since leaving out scraps was a sad waste. I had asked Miguel to cook a somewhat bigger meal than what he used to make for us, and he took that as a challenge from Cora's tiny kitchen. We had enough power for the stove and the oven after all the sunshine we had. At least everyone was satisfied to have a hot and fulfilling meal, so if anyone's plotting anything malicious against me, they couldn't argue I wasn't skirting on feeding them.

That should clear everyone's head. A hungry stomach makes for an angry bunch, I thought.

As everyone gathered around me, I placed the three maps I had stolen from the radio room, with each having different labels on them, so I reckoned I might as well show it to everyone, pointing out our routes clearly so no one should forget. I didn't want to give them any excuses for slacking off. It couldn't all be on me. I saw some nodding, said yes, or were silent throughout, taking me at least ten minutes to describe it all. I glanced at my watch, which just struck seven in the morning. Right on time.

Logan stood next to Marie and Monica, talking in hushed whispers and then pointing at the maps. I couldn't quite hear what they were discussing, but it was clear Logan was trying to avoid me. He couldn't even look me in the eye and instead joined a group that was the farthest away from where I was standing.

I frowned, tried not to let it bother me. I desperately wanted him and me to talk, specifically about what happened, but I doubted he was ready for that. I didn't know if I was prepared for that either.

If he's gonna pretend it didn't happen, then nothing happened, I thought, digging down a hole in my mind and bury that image forever. Still, I couldn't help but feel nervous and anxious.

Why am I feeling this way?

"So, to summarize," I started, clearing my throat, "there are three meeting points, so if anybody gets lost, or if trouble arises, we all meet in this place for exactly one hour before moving on to the next meeting point. Think of them as our markers toward downtown."

"Wait a minute." It was Randy that spoke up. "Trouble? What do you mean by trouble?"

"The word is self-explanatory, Randy," Charlene chimed in, shooting daggers at Randy.

"I get that, but the infected are not supposed to be inside the city. Only at the outskirts, right? You heard the radio. You heard the news," he asked around, trying to find others who will agree with him. A few did nod, but many didn't want to entertain where he's going with it.

"Well, you're wrong," Aria said, throwing a challenging gaze his way. "Many are quarantined in certain neighborhoods, yes, and the soldiers told us they won't come out like that's the first time I've ever heard of it before all shit got real."

"Are you sure?" Randy asked impatiently.

Aria narrowed her gaze. "Look, man. I've been away too long, so some of those containment areas have probably spilled into the nearby zones already. We're literally throwing a coin and see which lands."

Peter spoke up. "If you have anything to say, better keep this discussion.

"One bite is all it takes before it infects another area," Paloma said. I could see her visibly shake, and Edgar rubbed his hand on her arm, warming her up to reassure her. They shared a smile.

"So, we avoid them, then," he said, waving off his hand as if that's not obvious enough. He then blubbered, "It's still not enough."

Peter bellowed. "Hey! If you have anything else to say or contribute, then say it. If not, shut your mouth, or else."

"Or else what?" Randy said, a challenge.

Peter glowered. I thought he would grab his knife and throw it at him, but I quickly intervened. "Peter. I got this," I said calmly, and Peter calmed down. Still, he took accusatory glances at Randy, and the man tried not to let it bother him. I had a sneaking suspicion that Randy seemed to enjoy getting under our skin, and even Colin, his twin brother, was annoyed at him, tugging at his elbow, whispering on his ear for him to calm down.

Are they really twins? I wondered. It seemed Colin inherited the temperament side of the coin and everything else good that came with it while Randy got dumped in the sewage.

I continued, "Everyone here is blind to which areas are clear, Randy, but I don't want us to get caught by the military either. They're currently ordered to shoot on sight. Plus, the Alphas are pushing in from the east. We still have no word on that massive horde coming to Harrisburg, but it's probably damn close by now, perhaps by nightfall. And to think we have to navigate around the CRA blockades with who knows how many soldiers..."

Randy rolled his eyes and raised his hand. "Fine. I get it. It's dangerous. You made that painfully obvious. You can continue now," he ordered me. When I didn't proceed, he impatiently said, "Well? Go on."

I bit my bottom lip, placed my hands on my hips while I tried to suppress the urge to beat him. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. "Can I speak now without any interruptions?"

Randy crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm specifically talking to you, Randy," I said.

He scoffed. "Fine. You can talk."

"Except for you." That earned me a dirty glare.

I glanced at Logan, saw him not looking. I tried to tell myself not to face his general direction, but I saw Peter watching me curiously when I turned my head the opposite way.

I pressed down the lump in my throat and continued, "Alright. So, Marker One is the Cemetery near Edgemont Road. It's big and hard to miss."

Nash and Darren from the Delta-Chi-Delta frat boys snickered from my left, but I ignored them. Deon elbowed both to stop. I caught a few visibly shudder when I mentioned the graveyard.

"Marker Two is the National Civil War Museum on top of Reservoir Park. It's a big park, lots of buildings and sparse, open grounds in between, so it shouldn't be hard to miss it either. Brighton? Anything to add?"

"Just follow the signs toward the building," said Brighton, who was the one who told me about it last night. "There's a lot of it around the area. Big signs around the main roads pointing you to the general direction.."

I nodded and said, "Good. Thank you. And last, Marker Three is gonna be a little different. We're going to be within the populated areas now, but thankfully, Sarah here has the keys to her church, near the State Capitol area. Sarah?"

Sarah stepped forward. "Right. I'm also a piano player for the choir for five years, so I get to have access to the building," Sarah said, forcing a smile. "Here's my key." She showed it dangling on her necklace, close to her silver cross. "The church is on Market and Summit, between a YMCA building and a Jamaican restaurant." She forced another smile, prompting Aria to touch her arm and gently squeezed, smiling, whispered that she did a good job.

Last night, it took a few hours to talk to both Brighton and Sarah about everything around Harrisburg. Picking out these three meeting points took a considerable amount of discussion, one that I'm still not sure of. After all, these are for emergencies if we all get separated, which I hoped wouldn't happen.

"And before we all go, I know it had come up many times last night about the issue of firearms. If you know how to shoot a gun and have at least experience with them, I will gladly give it to you. But only if you're confident you won't shoot the guy standing next to you by accident." Everyone looked at each other, shifting where they stood. "I'm gonna spread out my men to ride with you for protection. An escort, if you will. I know Cora is the safest place to be in, so I gotta ask Colin and Audrey if they are willing to have Wanda and Diana ride with me."

Audrey let out a heavy sigh, and I thought she was about to burst into tears. She fervently nodded her head and started putting their little Hello Kitty and Wonder Woman backpacks around their shoulders.

"My wife can't leave our children alone," Colin said firmly, his words trained to me.

I knew what he meant, so I allowed Audrey to ride with her daughters in the RV. Still, Colin and the others had to drive their car since all their supplies were there, and I wouldn't allow them to put it inside Cora, where all the storage space was full. Though, I knew many people wanted to ride inside Cora than out in their clumsily shielded vehicles. Tough luck, I supposed.

And I had another motive. My eyes flicked to Randy, and I could tell he was pissed. Whatever he was planning, if he was going to make a move against me, then he's going to think twice doing so. I had Audrey and the kids with me in the RV. If he went out of line, Colin would gladly remind him what was at stake.

You could call me manipulative, but this was how we were going to fucking survive this city without some asshole breathing on my neck.

I went down to business and assigned everyone where they should be (in the meantime).

I gave Colin and Randy some ammunition since they already know how to use their rifles. Out of the frat boys, I gave Deon and Noodle, a short and heavily-built gymnast, two pistols, and some ammo. I immediately noticed them inspecting the gun for safety, feeling the weight, and they weren't as intimidated by it as the others. Although, Barry was itching to have some. That's just asking for trouble, especially when I noticed that he's a jumpy guy. I let the other frat boys have some of the melee weapons like knives, axes, crowbars, and baseball bats to make sure everyone was at least armed and ready. I passed the same stuff for the others.

Of course, this was all from Jun's list, who told me who was more trustworthy and who had been sketchy all night. Frankly, I was glad to have him around, or else I'd be lost. He didn't seem to be doing it for any ulterior motives, and if he was, I am not reading him well enough for my benefit.

Then, Peter and Haskell would take the Humvee and protect the frat boys driving in two vehicles. Jun would accompany Brighton, Sarah, and the other girls from the outpost, but Holly would ride in the RV with Aria and Yousef to make room. No one was riding with the Wheelers since they could protect themselves with Colin and Randy's guns. Lastly, I placed Alfie with Paloma and her friends. I surmised most had never used guns before (except for Deon and Noodle), so having Alfie with them would be good. Miguel and Logan would also be with me in the RV, one to drive it and the other...well, I wanted to talk.

Perhaps that would force his hand. I wasn't being malicious, I swear. But I felt a little guilty for manipulating the situation.

Everyone broke apart and walked toward their vehicles, ready to move out. I felt a tap on my shoulder, turned around, and found Logan standing behind me. His hands were in his pockets, but his eyes averted away from mine.

"Can I talk to you about something?" He asked.

My heart hammered, felt like I couldn't breathe. "What about?"

"Can I switch spots with Alfie?"

I paused, still thinking how I wanted to talk to him, and this would be the perfect opportunity to do it. I wanted to say no. I wanted to ask him why he wanted to switch, but then I caught sight of Marie standing a little behind him, waiting.

He still couldn't look at me.

"Alright, I—"

"Good," he said right away, cutting me off. "I'll let Alfie know."

He strode off, and Marie followed after him. No mention of the rooftop. No mention of what he did, or at least alluded to it. None. I reckoned he wanted to forget about it.

I walked to the RV, where Audrey urged her two daughters to climb up the stairs. They were a little scared, but once Indy popped up between Miguel's legs, watching them climb up excitedly, the two girls lit up with smiles. Audrey turned around to face her husband and pulled him into a tight embrace, and Colin slightly turned his head to the left and found her lips.

I looked away from the intimate gesture; a hollow pit opened in my stomach that I desperately tried to distract myself from. They reminded me too much of what happened an hour ago.

Almost.

——

RANDY

"We are not doing a thing, bro," Colin said behind the wheel, and that only pissed Randy more. He could count on his fingers how many times Colin had listened to him, and it would take him a whole day to list the opposite.

"I'm trying to predict what's gonna happen, Colin," Randy said, sitting on the passenger seat. Bernadette and Charlene sat on the back, listening.

"That's not predicting. That's being paranoid."

"I'm not. I'm helping us!"

"Not when all your bullshit is only gonna get us killed. So, stop it. Quit being childish and sit still. Jeez."

Randy crossed his arms and turned his back on Colin, tightening his lips. He watched the road outside of open fields and suburban property developments. Still, they were getting closer and closer to the buildings from the horizon, peeking out just above the forest's canopy. Silence seeped into the cabin.

If Randy wasn't born seventeen minutes late, he would be the older brother, and he would be the one to rub that over Colin's face.

Not the opposite.

He hated how everyone treated him more of a child than his brother when they're both twenty-two, and they looked exactly the same if it wasn't for Colin wanting to be all cool and grew a beard. It's fucking untidy and gross, Randy thought, but like always, his brother wouldn't listen to him.

Colin would accuse Randy of controlling his body, that he was twin mirroring, but that wasn't it. Randy just wanted to take good care of his brother, even when Colin torpedoed his life by impregnating a whore well before they finished Junior year. Randy never did any of that bullshit.

And of Audrey of all people.

Randy should be the man, treated like an adult, who went on to study in an actual university and would have gotten that degree if it wasn't for the pandemic. He would have walked up on that stage and got a well-paying job while Colin would be stuck in their small town with a bossy wife, two annoying kids, and working two jobs just to pay the bills. Randy had imagined many times where he wanted to rub that on Colin's face. His successes would have been Colin's, too, if he wasn't so adamant at getting his dick wet in junior year.

Yes. Randy should be the adult in this car. Not Colin.

I'm a good person. An intelligent, well-educated man and a better citizen. I don't deserve to be treated like this, and not from a fucking seventeen-year-old.

"Randy? Earth to Randy! Please tell me you're not thinking of what I think you're thinking," Colin said.

Randy's brows furrowed. "What are you saying?"

"I'm your twin. I'll always know what you're thinking."

"The fuck you don't! I am not saying we should kill them," Randy started.

"But you thought of it. You can't lie to me, man."

"I'm just saying that we can take their RV, which is full of weapons, food, and supplies! Audrey and the kids are already inside. Deon and Noodle are both armed now with those pistols he gave them—"

"Deon and Noodle are good boys," said Charlene, and Randy could only roll his eyes. This woman always wanted to butt heads with him, and she always interjected herself in conversations where she wasn't welcome. He tried to put her back in her place. "Bren's smart enough to choose the right people out of those bunch of meatheads. And here I thought he's gonna give it to Barry or Darren of all people. Or even Russell." Randy caught Charlene shiver from the backseat. She had a knack for spotting the creeps and the fuck-boys.

But those types of men can be useful, too, Randy thought.

If Deon and Noodle were smart enough, they would hand those weapons to Russell or Barry. Randy had wanted to punch some sense into Russell. He was supposed to be the fraternity president, voted by the same guys he was with, and he had no balls to keep them in line. Deon was his second-in-command, the vice-president of Delta-Chi-Delta, and he should be obligated to give those guns to Russell! If Randy was Russell, he would have demanded Deon or Noodle's guns handed to him the moment it touched their fingers.

Randy couldn't count on people with inferior brains.

"Are you hungry, Charlene?" Bernadette asked, breaking the silence. She passed her a boiled quail egg that Miguel passed around during breakfast. "Here. I saved these."