Sitting in therapy with Alsie opened my eyes a lot. I've learned more about her during this one session than I did living with her for two to three months. This is what she needed–no what we both needed. I know if I want to make a relationship work with her, it will take some time, and I don't want to rush it either. Two years ago, everything seemed rushed. But then again I wasn't in the right headspace, to begin with.

I can feel Alsie staring at me and it's starting to annoy me. "If you have something you want to say, just say it." I sigh.

"Oh, it's nothing." she stutters.

"It's something alright. You've been staring at me for five minutes now. What is it?" I glance at her before looking back at the road.

"What did you mean by...I'm going to be sorry. It doesn't sound good."

"Let's talk about you were lying about having a boyfriend. You were determined to push me away that badly? I will admit that it hurt me." And it was the honest truth. When the Doc started to talk about relationships and Alsie began to speak about her lovers over the last two years—I wanted to punch something. But, I couldn't and can't fault her, because I was doing the same thing.

"I wouldn't say I wanted to push you away, but I thought it was better for me to heal that way. In the end, I was only hurting myself." She answers and in a way, I understand where she is coming from, but then I don't.

"Hmm."

"Hmm, what?"

"Nothing. Just listening. Care to listen to some music. The drive to my place will be while."

"I'm sure the exit to your house is coming up soon."

"I don't live at the estates anymore. It's been two years since I lived there."

"Why? I thought you love living there." I did.

"Things changed. It's very family oriented at the moment. A lot of the guys are starting to build families and I just seemed out of place. I've been staying at my condo downtown. It was my first bachelor pad." Once more the guys started having kids and getting married--I couldn't stop thinking about Vanessa and Alise, so I moved. I still make it to Charles and Chase's place for Thanksgiving and Vincent's for Christmas. Everett still throws the New Year's Party.

"So you're taking me to your bachelor pad, that you took countless other women." she scoffs.

"I dont think it would be appropriate to take you back there. We're not in that kind of relationship. Am I wrong?"

she clears her throat. "We aren't, but--"

"No, buts. It's the truth. If we ever get back together then maybe. I'm not getting into a relationship without the intention of marriage. So think carefully about what you want from me." I glance at her. She stares at me with curiosity. of course, I know she would be. She probably thinks I'm the same Darren from two years ago. The Darren two years ago was still an immature person who didn't want to acknowledge nor own up to his own shit. Now, this Darren is the complete opposite and I love it. Therapy would do that to you.

"Well okay."

The rest of the drive to my condo was filled with the radio playing. I think it was for the best too. I have a sense of what is going on in that head of hers. She probably thinks everyone will go back to the way it was. It isn't. I want tort off slow. I want to court her, but not this weekend. This weekend I want to have Alise in the worst way possible. I've missed her.

When we approached the condo she didn't say a word. As we entered the condo she still doesn't say a word but looked around.

"Would you like a tour?" I ask and she only shakes her head no. I can see her mood has changed a bit after finding out we were coming here. I wish she would understand I dont want to rush things nor do I want to put myself in a position to revert to the old me. "Okay, would you like to order take out or would you prefer me to cook?"

"We can get takeout." she pouts taking a seat on the couch.

"Is everything alright?" I know it isn't, but I want her to say it. "You seem a little annoyed in a sense.

"I'm okay." she lies.

"Are you upset about coming here?" I dont feel like beating around the bush anymore. I love this woman I swear I do, but we can't rush things this time around.

"No."

"You're lying. Do you want to go to the Croakington Estates?" I sit next to her on the couch and she tries directly to move away. It was a far cry from being district. I move closer to her, wrapping my arm around her waist, holding her in place. "I know you dont like the idea of coming here, but I dont like the idea of going back to the estates with you. I'm not saying I would never take you back there, but right now...no. We have to rebuild and trust one another. We went through something, no parents should ever go through. We stopped talking to each other and now we need to connect and get to know each other all over again."

"I dont want to go back to the estates. I'm fine." she tries to remove my arm from around her, but I tighten my hold.

"lie to me again and you can leave. You also dont have to worry about coming back into my life either. So let's try this again." I look her in the eyes and I can see the tears building up.

"Yes, I want to go to the estates. I dont want to be here. Where you have brought all those women. I dont want to sleep on the same bed you shared with them. I'm so jealous right now I can just punch something or someone. You dare to think this is okay. That I would be okay with this. If you love me..." She starts to cry and I pull her into my chest. "I've missed you so much. I miss Vanessa."

There we go.

"I'm right here and I won't be going anywhere. As for our sweet little Vanessa, she will always be with us. She's our little angel and one day we will make her a big sister and you'll be a two-time mother again, just not right now." Honesty is the best thing for us right now.

Alise cries harder and all I can do is comfort her.

Guess we won't be having sex tonight.