《Burnouts》To Care or Not to Care
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"Leo." He looks at me but doesn't say anything, so I keep speaking. "Hello."
"Hey."
I hold out a box for him to take. "This is everything I have of yours."
It helps...cleansing myself of him, it's how you move on. Though, having this in my locker all day— I was tempted to change my mind and keep so much of it.
"What?" He asked.
"The things you left...or I kept."
"I don't want any of that shit," Leo glared and turned to walk away.
I scoffed, "It's your stuff." He ignored me and kept walking. "You're mad at me? As if this isn't your fault?"
"Fuck that, no it's not."
"You chose not to be with me."
"Stop putting it all on me!" Leo said frustratedly. "It isn't like that."
"Really? Because that is exactly how it looks."
"Then stop looking at it that way. What I had to do was important," he argued.
"I'm glad something is to you. Not me, not our anniversary, but something." I huffed and dropped the box on the ground, leaving it as I went back inside the school.
Storming in with my arms crossed attracts the attention of the few people who are still in the halls, Audrey and Alison included. I needed the moral support.
"What's wrong?" Alison rushes over.
"I hate him."
"Of course. What'd you expect?" Audrey sighed.
I looked outside to where he was and saw Matt pick up the box and bring it to the car.
"I thought it would go back to how it was before we knew each other, when I didn't care whether or not he showed up to school each day."
"That's what the summer is for," Alison said with hope.
"'No, the summer will be me worrying for two months that he might not show up in September," I argued. "God, he's so stupid."
"Are you about to cry?" Audrey asked, worriedly.
"No..."
"Come on." She grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall into the nearest restroom. It'll stay relatively empty— almost everyone left as soon as the bell rang. It's the last day of school. "Never let him see you cry," Audrey said sternly.
"You sound like my mom."
"Camille is a genius. I wish she was my mother." Audrey dabs under my eyes with a tissue.
"I'm not convinced she isn't. We must have been switched at birth."
"No, hon. You're all Camille Blakely. Why do you think your skin is so nice?"
"Thank you."
"Who hasn't shed a few tears over a dumb boy?" She looked over at Alison for agreement.
"I invented it, it's all I ever do."
I laugh to myself and then stare down at the tissue in my hand. "I'm just so mad at him for even getting us here. We talked like we'd be together forever, and he literally threw that away in a matter of seconds."
"No one ever has forever, right?"
"All the Leos and Heathers were supposed to have forever."
She tilted her head, confused by the sentiment.
"What did he do anyway?" Audrey asked, and I looked down to avoid responding. "You don't want to tell me?"
"You'll judge him, and I still love him so I don't want to hear it."
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I huff at the sound of not only the doorbell ringing but also incessant knocking.
After unlocking it, I pull it open angrily...and my frustration turns to cold fear when I come faced with 3 police officers.
"Hello, is Richard Carey here?"
"Yes, let me get him." I smiled at them as if there wasn't an ounce of nervousness in my body. My hands were shoved into my pocket so the trembling wouldn't be noticeable. I cleared my throat when I entered the study. "Dad, there are cops at the door asking for you."
"What?" He said in stunned confusion before quickly scrambling to his feet. I didn't walk with him when he left the room, but I heard him ask: "What is this about?"
"The club on West 33rd Street," they replied.
I listen in behind a wall, and when he leads the officers into his office, I slip into the living room and grab the phone.
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
"Hello?"
Crap..."Elizabeth?"
"Yes."
"What are you doing there?"
"Clearing my stuff out. Saying goodbye to friends."
"You went to the police?"
"I might've given them a tip," she said proudly.
"What is your problem? Do you realize how many people are unemployed now that you wanted to get even with me?"
"Businesses should be run by adults, Ethan. Not high school boys."
"You didn't quite mind this high school boy," I snarked.
"I'm hanging up now."
"Elizabeth, just find Jon and tell him to proceed with the fail-safe plan. A lot of people can be in trouble if you don't."
She laughed. "The prostitutes?"
"You know what? How about I give them your name, accomplice?"
"I don't think it works like that."
"I'll ask."
"Bye."
"Don't-" the line goes dead.
"Ethan, can you come in here, please?" My father said loudly.
"One second," I replied while trying to redial Carnal.
"Ethan, immediately."
Sighing, I put the phone down and slowly made my way to where everyone is gathered in the office.
"Yes?"
"Do you know anything about a club called Carnal Desires?" My father questioned.
"Doubt I've been. What is the age requirement?"
"This club is in my name."
"You opened a club?" I asked, surprised.
"No, Ethan."
"Sounds like identity theft then." I looked to the cops. "Is that what you're here about?"
"We're here because of illicit gambling, prostitution, and forgery— as well as identity theft."
"Sounds bad."
"15 years sound bad to you?" They joked.
I laughed awkwardly. "How many with a good lawyer?"
"Hey, what's up man?" Lucas came over and greeted me. "How'd you like the set?"
"You guys were awesome."
"Thanks."
"Hey." A girl almost knocks him down with the way she ran up and wrapped her arms around his waist.
He smiles at her.
"Stick around, okay?" Lucas said to me. "There's a couple good bands playing next."
"Oh— okay."
They step away with each other, staying close as he spoke to her, still with a smile. She's great at flirting, the way she's looking at him and smirking, it's no wonder he kisses her...and for a long time too.
I put my head down before someone notices I'm watching.
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...right. Lucas Reid is not gay. I knew that.
"You know her?" Someone asks, assuming it was the girl I was looking at.
"She goes to my school," I said to him.
"Mine too."
"You go to Chester?"
"Yeah." He nodded toward Lucas. "That's my brother."
"Lucas?"
"Everyone's so surprised when they find out. Like since he's this cool guy in a band, our parents messed up with me or something."
"I didn't-"
"No, it's okay. I try not to draw too much attention to myself."
"I get that."
"I'm Oliver, by the way."
"Zach."
"I know." He smiled...and I furrowed my eyebrows a bit because no one just 'knows' me.
"So, you get to be a roadie? That's pretty cool."
"A roadie? I'm not following Van Halen. These guys don't get gigs outside of the city."
"One day. Who knows?"
"That's the other problem. Knowing them. Have you met the rest of the band?"
"Dave kinda."
"Follow me." He motions for me to get up with him and then starts walking without ever telling me where we're going. They must come here a lot because no one questions him as he passes through a crowd of people and into the restricted areas. "When they're not all over my house, they're holed up in a room somewhere because it makes them feel like they have a dressing room or something."
"You don't like them?"
He shrugged. "They're alright." Oliver opens one of the doors and looks inside. "Guess no one made it back here yet. We can wait."
"Okay." I went and sat on the sofa placed against the wall.
"Didn't you design this stuff?" He showed me a box full of merchandise that has Aaron's drawing on them.
"No, I had someone else do it."
"An ex?" Oliver asked.
"How'd you know?"
"The way you looked when you said 'someone else'."
"It was a bad breakup...I was a bad boyfriend."
"But you seem so nice."
"That was the problem, I was nice to more than one person."
He laughed as he sat down next to me. "You're a serial kisser."
"Yeah."
"That's not good."
"I wouldn't do it again."
"Not while you're in a relationship at least. If you're single— kiss whoever you want." He shrugged.
"I know I can...but I don't think I should."
"Who convinced you it was bad to have fun?"
"I guess I did."
"Then unconvince yourself," he said, and before I could ask him how..."Kiss me."
I looked at him like I couldn't tell if he was joking. He started to smirk...and since I was already staring at his lips...I leaned closer to him.
He waited, making no moves, and ensuring that I would be the one who kissed him.
Something tells me I'm going to regret meeting you one day.
But his mouth met mine with a smile of approval. He's arrogant, like he won a prize, and after a while, he sat up from where he was leaning on the sofa and leaned forward on me, instead.
I pulled away enough to speak. "Did you get me alone on purpose?"
"Duh." He chuckled and pushed up against me again, this time slipping his tongue past my lips. This isn't how people usually introduce themselves to me...but I think I can get used to it.
Laughter echos behind the door, and I move off of him and stare at it like a deer in headlights. Lucas walks in with the girl he kissed and the rest of the band.
"Told you they'd show up."
"Yeah," I said, breathlessly.
Lucas looks at me like he knows I was just making out with his brother.
"Want to get something to drink?" Oliver suggested, standing to his feet.
"Sure."
We tried to head out as they all spilled into the room, Oliver not too far in front of me.
"Hey." Lucas puts his hand out and stops me. "I wouldn't get attached to him if I were you. He does this a lot."
"Hey." I hold the door open when I see Peyton and Lydia coming out with boxes.
"Are you moving too?" She asked, nodding toward the box in my arm.
"You're moving?"
"Yeah, me and Lydia got a place together."
"Damn."
"I would've told you if you were ever around." She playfully rolled her eyes.
"I'm around now."
"I see."
"If you need help with the move, you know where to find me."
She winked. "Boy next door."
"Not for long, apparently."
"Don't miss me too much, boyfriend."
"I won't. You're just another girl on the list," I teased.
Peyton's jaw dropped, and Lydia laughed, gazing admirably at me.
"You're an asshole," Lydia said. "I fooled around with the wrong friend."
Matt would agree. Pretty sure you hurt his feelings.
"Bye."
"For a little while. I still have a reason to visit," she said, insinuating that it's me even though I know she means her family.
It's funny remembering how much I liked her at one point. Seems like forever ago, and now I don't think I'll like anyone ever again. That shit's terrible.
"Leo?" My mom called out when she heard the door opening.
"Who else would it be? That guy you're dating never comes up."
"I don't let him."
"Good."
She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Anyway. What's in the box?"
"Heather gave me all my stuff back."
"Oh...are you okay?"
"Yeah, I don't care."
"You keep saying that."
I shrugged as I walked to my room. "I'm getting over it."
"By becoming apathetic?" She asks, and I don't respond. The sound of her footsteps follow behind me. "I'm baking a pie."
"I don't want-" I pause when she starts to frown. "...Thank you. Sounds good."
"Hm." She picks up the flannel Heather had from the box.
"Can you wash it?"
"Looks clean."
"Wash it..." it is clean, but it was with her clothes, touched by her hands...it's got her all over it.
My mom nods and takes it with her out of my room. I look down at what's left and sigh.
Stupid mixtape. I can't listen to any song I kissed you to. The snow-globe, the sunglasses, the perfume— everything I gave you. You're just giving back every time I said 'I love you.'
I dump the box out onto my bed. If I don't get rid of the stuff now, I never will and it'll bother me every time I see it.
The clothes get thrown into the dirty laundry, and the gifts get thrown away. I wonder if that's what she wanted me to do...put them in the garbage so she wouldn't have to.
I stare down at my bed when there's nothing else on it. My face scrunched in confusion.
That wasn't all I gave you.
It's not in here...
"I bought ice cream today. You want it with the pie?" My mom asks, but I'm too distracted to respond. "Leo?"
"She kept it."
"What?"
"Her necklace. She kept it..."
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