《Burnouts》All Else Is Failing
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"Aren't you going to be late for class, little one?" Elizabeth teased.
"That never gets old."
"Like you?" She asked, and I sarcastically smiled at her. "I'm sorry, sir, am I annoying you?"
"As per usual." I hand her the key to her new apartment.
"Thank you...for this."
"Don't thank me. Most of it was you."
"Not just for the apartment."
I glance around at the people bringing in furniture from off of a truck.
"Oh, the furniture? No problem, I hated your old stuff anyway."
"Not just for that, either."
"Then, what am I being thanked for?"
She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Everything. Coming into my life and changing everything."
I smirk. "For the better, I hope."
"Yes...I know it bothers you that I don't talk about my family or friends or anyone...but you should know that no one has ever made me feel like they cared about me. No one before you."
"I'm sorry that it took so long to find me."
"Well, I wasn't looking for love in an 18-year-old with control issues, so."
"Hm." Love, Elizabeth?
"I'm one of the things you changed."
"For the better?"
"Definitely not, but I don't care. It feels good not being how I was," she admitted.
"You're not supposed to let me change you."
"I don't care. I love you." So, you do.
What a turn-off.
I pressed my lips into a smile as I stepped back. "My car is here."
"Call me?"
I nodded at her. "Goodbye, Elizabeth."
She smiled and waved me off.
How suffocating.
The driver opens the door for me, and I let out a deep breath once it's shut.
"Dammit!" I shouted.
"Is there a problem, sir?" He asks.
"No, everything is great. Drive."
I pour a packet of sugar into the cup of hot coffee before stirring as I sip.
"You're like 40," Leo snickered.
"Shut up, I'm tired."
"What'd you get into last night?"
"I was on the phone with this girl for hours." I shook my head. "She's chatty."
"What girl?"
"Her name is Mary. She goes to an all-girls catholic school, she's got two sisters, a pet cat, and her favorite movie is Casper."
"You gonna hang out with her?"
"Yeah, I guess. We're going out Saturday."
"You don't seem all that happy about it."
"Eh," I shrugged. "I hate all the stuff that happens before a girl becomes your girl."
"You want her to be your girl?" Leo said in surprise.
"I don't know." I'm not one of those people who need to be in relationships all of the time, but I feel better knowing that I have someone— like I'm not some lonely jerkoff who nobody wants.
"Are you still...do you still miss Val?"
I sighed. "Part of me knows that if she showed up and said 'Danny, I need you to drive me to this stupid store so I can buy some stupid shit I don't need,' I'd be like 'alright, babe, get in the van,' but I also know that we weren't all that good together."
"You weren't all that bad either."
"That's not good enough." I understand that now.
"You're happier with a girlfriend," Leo said quietly.
"I'm happier when I don't have to go home."
"You don't come over like you used to." He looked over at me. "You still can."
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"I know."
"She's not there all the time."
"That's not the point," I argued. "Remember when we were in 8th grade and you and Matt snuck out in the middle of the night on bikes to come get me after I called you because my dad was being all...my dad."
He laughed a bit. "Yeah, that was fun."
I didn't have a bike, so we broke the lock off my neighbor's bike, and I rode with them to Leo's house.
"I know you're around. You just need space to do other shit now."
"Yeah, sometimes but not always."
"Yeah," I don't say anything else, and it gets quiet.
"It's like we're not cool anymore."
"What are you talking about? Of course we're cool."
"Sure."
"I'm driving you to school."
"Thanks," he said plainly.
"What's the problem?"
"Nothing. My bad. I'm just bullshitting," he faces the window.
"No, you're not. Fuck you, you think I don't like you or something?"
"Nah, I don't know what I'm saying. Forget about it," Leo said, brushing off the tension he created.
"Aren't we family? You're my brother, right? You think I don't like you now?"
"Shits been weird since that fight. Like you never stopped being mad at me."
Oh.
"Oh." I sighed...and shrugged...and then sighed again. "That's my fault. I think I've been waiting for you to fuck up and prove me right. You haven't— I didn't really think you would, but I don't like surprises, so I was being cautious."
"I'm not going to fuck up."
"You told me that already. And I told you I remember. You're around. I don't doubt it, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole." We're supposed to get everything out at once when we fight, no one is allowed to hold a grudge. She made things different. I couldn't dead it knowing she was always gonna be there in the back of his head pulling strings like he's goddamn Kermit.
"It's okay," he said. "Brothers?"
"Yeah," I agreed. "Brothers."
"3 tries, guess who I found out Alison is spending quality time with," I said to Ethan with an amused smile on my face.
"Tony?"
"We knew that."
"Novak?"
"No."
"...a burnout?"
"No, Ethan...God," I said in distaste.
"Who then?"
"Jace."
"You've got to be-" He laughs hysterically, "She is really making the rounds. Here I thought I was the one guilty of that. She's got me beat."
"Wait wait wait. Not exactly," I say to him. "We have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Jace said it isn't like that."
"Yet," Ethan replied. "It's Alison."
True.
"Poor Anthony," I sighed sadly. "Another one bites the dust."
"How does he lose them so fast?"
"He made it further with Alison than he did Audrey, no?"
Ethan shook his head. "Tony kissed Audrey...but Everyone's kissed Audrey."
"Oh, my God," I gasped, "I haven't kissed Audrey."
Heather starts to come up the hallway, and we both divert our attention to her.
"Do you think she knows?"
"Do you think she'd care?" I asked.
"Possibly on a principle basis, at least."
"What?" She stopped in front of us, obviously noticing that she was our topic of conversation.
"What is your stand on people dating their friends' exes?" I smirked.
"Don't you think it's a little late to be asking this?"
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"Oh, it's not about us. Been there, fought about that."
"Well...I wouldn't do it."
"And if someone did it to you?"
She narrowed her eyes at the question. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Ethan cut in before I could disclose any sensitive information. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it."
"About what?"
"Anyway," he turned to me. "Elizabeth said those 3 disturbing words."
"I'm a communist?"
"No...I love you." He looks to Heather in hope that she is sharing the same reaction he had toward my response, but she's more concerned with his:
"How rude?" She said in confusion.
"I could have gone my entire life without her telling me that."
"If you're not going to say it back what difference does it make?" I asked.
"It makes a big difference. Huge. I don't like knowing?"
"You couldn't tell?" Heather gave him a skeptical expression.
"We do this on an off thing with teasing, chasing, the general fun and games. That's what I liked. That's why I could like her. It didn't feel...icky."
"Icky, Ethan?" In other words: grow up.
"It's too much. I can't stand this. How dare she fall in love with me? I didn't give her permission to do that."
"That's what happens when you agree to be in a relationship."
"But you girls love the risk of not being loved back."
Heather scoffed. "Leave me out of it."
"Well, it's true our paths haven't crossed."
"And apparently they never will," I commented.
"Or...might, depending on how she takes the news." He winked at her.
"But that still leaves-"
"She and Audrey aren't friends anymore."
"Am I still supposed to be here or can I go now?" Heather said in annoyance.
"Who is going to keep Elizabeth comfortably housed if you break up?"
"She did it without me before. She didn't even want my help at first...I should've suspected something was off when she started welcoming the gifts."
The conversation halted as a dark cloud approached us, Tony wallowing in like he's already having a bad day at 8 A.M.
"Is Alison around?"
"Possibly...ask Jace," I responded.
"Jace..." Heather said to me. "Ha," she shook her head but seemed to disengage from the discussion.
"Problem?"
"No, not my problem." Heather backed away.
A problem for someone, though, isn't it?
"Is it just me or did she seem a bit bothered?" I smiled slyly.
Ethan chuckled. "I hate when you're happy."
"What's going on with Jace?" Tony asked.
"He and Alison are taking friendly trips to places one on one. He's assured me it's all platonic, but I've assured him that I wouldn't care if it wasn't," I explained.
"Alison and Jace? She wouldn't."
"Tony, there are far more things she would do than wouldn't."
"Jace isn't a good boyfriend, though. She's seen that."
"Doesn't have to be a good boyfriend if girls are interested in him regardless."
"I don't..." he tried to gather some form of understanding.
"Anthony..." I called out sympathetically.
"She's not worth it," Ethan added.
"Why don't you come to my party this weekend, and I'll introduce you to a girl who has never met Jace."
"It's hot," Matt complained as he sat across from us.
"But, oh, those summer nights," Amanda sang with a smile.
"I'm not coming outside until 5:00 P.M. once we're out of school. Sun's going to kill me."
"Yeah, right, you'll be bored enough to come out no matter what. There's nothing to do inside."
"Eat, watch tv," he cupped his hand and made an up and down motion, "relieve some stress, then out at 5."
"It's a good schedule," I said through laughter.
"I know. And I'm going to this Chester dance this Saturday so it will be the last thing I do before I only go to parties and get super high."
"Have you asked somebody?"
"Shit..." his eyes widened. "I forgot to."
"Your freshman?" I suggested.
"She's not my freshman. I'd take her but she'd try to make out with me or something." He shook his head. "When we were freshman, it was hard getting girls to even make out with you, now this girl is like throwing herself at me."
"So take someone older," Mandy said.
"You?"
She smiled. "Really?"
"If you want."
"Yes!" Amanda said excitedly. "I get to go to the dance." My mom comes and places drinks on our table, taking note of Mandy's excitement, but not saying anything. She walks away and Amanda cringes. "...I'm not very popular here."
"What are you talking about?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "You know Penny."
"She doesn't like me."
"She acts like she doesn't like anyone."
"Your mom is trying so hard not to roll her eyes at me whenever we look at each other."
You're probably right.
"Mom!" I yell for her.
"Stop," Amanda panicked, but it was too late.
"Mom, you like Amanda, right?"
"Of course." She forced a smile. "Where's Heather?"
Matt, Amanda, and I all exchanged looks before immediately being overcome with laughter.
"She's not here."
"What is so funny?"
"Nothing." Other than the fact that you asked about Heather because, no, you don't like Amanda.
"I overheard there's a dance. Are you taking her?"
"It's not my school. Matt is taking Amanda."
"Oh, that's nice," she said, calmed by relief.
...you actually thought I still had interest in Mandy?
"I need you to help me make something. Like...dinner and stuff? Not tonight but..."
"I don't understand. What are you asking?"
"Heather and I are doing something Sunday...it's an anniversary thing," I said awkwardly, trying to ignore the fact that people are around to hear me. "6 months...it's a thing."
"Aw," Amanda rags while Matt makes kissing noises.
"Can you— can you just make some food for me, please?"
"You want it all heart-shaped?" She smiled.
"Ugh," I look away. "...Yes."
"Okay, jellybean," my mom continued to smile as she left to go behind the counter again.
"Jellybean," Amanda teased.
"...Sunday?" Matt said worriedly.
"Yeah...why?"
"Nothing." He stared down at the table.
"What?"
"That's when I have to collect."
"When?"
"I'm doing it at night."
Crap.
"I'll be there."
"Won't she-"
Yes, she will. But, "I'll figure it out."
"She forces her way into the building, security is chasing her, everyone is frightened beyond comprehension, and it is all so she can present her designs to me," my mother said.
"Tell me you at least looked at them," I replied.
"Yes, Heather, after the lengths she went through to face me, I figured a glance was permitted." She shrugged, "I told her they were good."
"Oh?" You complimented someone?
"I said I loved them, in fact...but I loved it more when Chantal Thomas did it first in 1995. She must have thought I was stupid, presenting me with uninspired drivel I watched on the runway. Security threw her and those generic Chantal Thomas' out," she spoke proudly. "Anyway, how was your day, darling?"
"Not as exciting."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be, I think it's a good thing."
"I have more excitement to fill in your dull day. Guess who I spoke to?"
"Who?"
"My friend Cassandra Chase. She invited us to Italy this summer."
"Both of you?" I look at her and dad.
"The entire family."
"What? No."
"No?"
"I don't want to go."
"Of course you do. You won't be alone, you know her son Adrian. You were in junior high together for the last year."
"So we're best friends," I said sarcastically.
"He will introduce you to other people your age. The Chase's live double lives. Half of it is in Italy."
"I'm not going," I cross my arms.
"You are."
"Why can't you go alone?"
"It's a family vacation."
"Dad," I huffed.
"Yes, I'm going too."
"We can stay," I speak to him like she's not still in the room. "Majority rules."
"Your mother counts as three people."
"I'm staying here. I made plans with my friends. This isn't fair."
"It's only for July," she rolled her eyes.
"I like July."
"You like Italy."
"I am here by myself all of the time. What makes this so different?"
"You are not staying here alone for an entire month."
"I can stay with Alison."
"It's a family trip, Heather. Like it or not, you are a member of this family."
"Not." I pushed my chair back and got up from the table.
"You weren't excused," my dad called out as I walked away.
There is no possible way William Blakely is staying a full month in one place. I'll be left there with my mom and some family I've met one time.
The door to my room opens and my mom sighs at the sight of me with the phone pressed to my ear.
"Heather, he can go a month without you."
It rings over and over and I glare back at her. "Can I have some privacy, please?"
The answering machine picks up instead of him, and I sigh before putting the phone down.
"See, it's that simple."
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