"Good morning," Vivian greets me when I walk into the kitchen.

"Hello," I sigh, "where's Arthur?"

"On a call."

"So many calls lately."

"Well, the merger is happening soon. I'm sure after, he'll be more present."

"And less hostile," I raise an eyebrow.

"Hm," she glances down to avoid agreeing with me. "Breakfast?"

"Tempting...but my car is here."

"Have a great day."

"You as well, I hope," I nodded to say goodbye before walking away...yet, somehow I got the feeling that she never quite stopped looking at me. When I turned back, I saw that I was right. "Can I ask you something, Viv?"

"Go ahead."

"I would like your advice."

"Mine?" She sounded surprised.

"Of course, the decision I make could affect me for the better or worse, and you're so good...I'm sure you'll help me make the right choice."

"Well, now I'm nervous." And slightly touched by the compliment.

"Don't be," I assure her. "I have this friend, we've known each other for a long time, but recently we have stopped knowing each other. It's as if one day he woke up and decided to be a mess for the rest of his life."

"It sounds like he needs a friend as badly as ever then, but it doesn't have to be you if it causes you trouble."

"Oh, it already has. He's better now, he insists, but when I told him I was done with him— I meant it. Should I go back on that?"

"What does your heart think?"

"My heart lets my brain do the thinking."

"That's no good."

"It's no fun, but plenty good."

I let my heart make one decision and I ended up with a short-stay girlfriend and a damper on my reputation.

From now on, I use my brain— and the other part of me that throbs on occasion.

"Doesn't it hurt to go on like you were never close?"

I shrugged, "People do it all of the time."

"They at least allow themselves to lose love or grow apart first."

"True." But I detach easily.

"You want to know what I think?"

"That is what I asked."

"I think you only came to me because you want to forgive your friend. You would not have wasted your breath on someone you didn't miss."

She's half right...but my breath wouldn't be wasted regardless of what she said. I intend to worm my way into your subconscious until you're dreaming of waking up to me.

Jace is a convenient excuse for a deep conversation.

"Vivian you're wearing me down. It won't be long now until I start needing you."

"It's good to feel needed."

"What can I say? I'm one to appreciate before it's gone, not after."

"An important quality to have," Vivian smirked.

"And yet lacking in so many people."

"We're lucky to have you then."

"Yes...I guess I'll be off."

"When will you return?"

"I can come home right away if there's something..."

"Oh," she flushes with nervousness...shame even, "no, I only wondered."

What I love about women...other than every feminine essence that auras around them— is that they are so red. Red from the inside, a velvety glow of desire that's only flicked on when enticed by passion before seduction.

It's so much better this way...I have to give you a reason to crave me.

Poor Vivian just needs to be told she's wanted, desired, seen.

I sighed when I spotted Tony alone. "Have you seen Alison?"

"No, is something wrong?"

"No..."

"Is this about what everyone's saying?"

My eyebrows furrow, "How much do you know?"

He shrugged and looked away from me.

"Tony?"

"How much do you know?" He asked.

"I know that I heard something a few months ago, and she told me it was nothing."

"She told me nothing happened too...but now I'm hearing about a girl, and a teacher's desk, and sex on that teacher's desk. Plus, Trevor said-"

"Trevor?" God, if he has anything to say it can't be good.

"Apparently he saw a stuffed bear in her bag one day, and then a bear was later seen on that teacher's desk. It could be a coincidence but-" Tony turns away, "she's here."

"Hey..." Alison approached us awkwardly.

"Hi..." I reply in the same manner.

"Did I interrupt something?" She looks at Tony as if he broke the rules of their unofficial relationship.

I furrow my eyebrows. "No," Mrs. Milligan. "We were just talking..."

"About?"

"There's this rumor going around..."

"About who? Tell me."

"Mr. Faust, that English teacher...apparently has been sleeping with a student— or students. Who knows?"

"Where'd you hear that?"

"A note was being passed around my class this morning."

"I heard it...in the hall," Tony says hesitantly.

"That is strange..." Alison gazed off to the side.

"Strange like what I heard on Valentine's Day— that was strange."

"Strange like caring about Mr. Faust and who he is or isn't having sex with since it's none of my business."

"So, it isn't you?"

She glared at me, "Ugh, Heather."

"I had to ask."

"No, you didn't. You wanted more gossip."

"If I cared about gossip, Alison, I would've written your name on the note and passed it back."

"This could ruin his career."

"It could," I nodded.

"Don't look at me like I did anything." She scoffed and stormed off as if I deeply offended her. I understand being upset over getting accused, but that kind of anger makes it seem like she is involved.

"I'll talk to her," Tony says to me before chasing after Alison.

Now, I feel like a bad person, but how does so many outrageous things happen to one person in a year? I may as well be the governess stumbling through Addington claiming 'I only wanted to help the children.*'

I hear: "Is that Heather?" from down the hall, and my heart becomes happy even if my face doesn't match it.

"Butterfly," Leo smiles when we see each other.

"Baby," I sigh and seek comfort in his hug.

"You okay?"

"Alison," I rolled my eyes.

Leo chuckled and glanced at Danny and Jordan behind him. "So, it was her legs up, skirt around the waist-"

"No." I dragged him away from his friends, "She said it wasn't her."

"I'm sure she did."

"We heard him tell her 'no.'"

"We heard him call her pretty too, maybe he decided she was pretty enough to make up for the age difference."

"That's not funny."

"It kinda is," he laughed until he saw that I wouldn't. "Sorry, she's her own person. I know you care but..."

"If it's true, he's taking advantage of her."

"If it's true, an adult needs to step in."

"I can find an adult!"

"If it's not true, this man's life is turned upside down over a rumor. Stay out of it."

"But-"

"Stay out of it. She'll be alright."

"Fine," I cross my arms.

"Come on, butterfly," he sighed and tilted my chin up with a finger. "Want a kiss?"

I don't have to answer, he kisses me anyway.

His friends typically scatter when we get close, but they stayed around this time. It could be because I know them, and they're used to the mouth to mouth, but part of me believes it may have to do with the recent issue of their friend Leo also being my boyfriend Leo. I would've stopped otherwise...but now I'll have as much of him as I want, and I'll kiss him slowly until air becomes half as necessary as the way he grips my waist when his tongue grazes mine.

"How can we be normal if everyone else isn't?"

Leo smirked, "We're not, but we're on a good streak."

"Imagine if I wasn't with you."

"Even if we weren't together if I found out you were back arched, skirt on the floor with that guy, I'd kick his ass."

"But it's different with Alison?" I challenged

He inhaled and avoided eye contact.

"...You made your point, but still, even in that scenario it would be bad if I stepped in."

"You just don't care."

"Hey, I like Alison," he says in defense.

"You like Alison?"

"I guess."

"...I hated how that sounded."

Leo smiled and turned me around so that I was against the wall. "Jealousy jealousy jealousy," he teases, clearly amused by it.

I rolled my eyes. "Say you like me too then."

"I like you," he said, "I love you," he reaffirmed.

"Just me."

"Only you."

"Okay," I pull him by his shirt until his lips are on mine again. I love that it makes him smile.

"Want me to walk you to class?"

Of course, I do. But— I still feel the presence of Danny and Jordan near.

"No, go back with your friends."

Alas, it's only fair to share you.

"You sure?"

I nodded, "I'll see you later."

"We're playing here!" I'm yelled at as soon as I step on the sand.

"Get off the field!" They continue, but I head straight for their batter.

"Zach, what are you doing?" Evan asks, putting the bat down.

"What did you say to Aaron?"

"What?"

"Why would you go see him?" I ask in frustration.

"Forgot he worked there," Evan shrugged like it was funny. I glared at him, and he sighed in defeat. "Alright...I don't know, I wanted to...size him up, I guess."

"Are you crazy?"

"You put me on the back burner and you expect me to do nothing? I tried to make you choose and you didn't."

"So you're going to choose for me, is that it?"

"I love you. You've never said it back. Is that you choosing?"

I inch away, "...I've said it back."

"No, Zach, you haven't."

"Well-"

"It doesn't even matter, because you haven't said it to him either. Have you?"

Why am I under attack here? Who said you get to be the victim.

"You cheated on me."

"And that makes me a bad guy, right? So, it's a good thing you didn't- oh...wait," he laughs to himself.

I shake my head, "Stay away from Aaron."

"I will...if you stay away from me."

"You're dumping me?"

"Funny, huh?" Evan smiles, "looks like it's my turn this time."

Are you serious?

How can you do that when you know I can't let you go...

"I was choosing Aaron anyway."

"No, you weren't." He lifts his bat again and gets back in position as if I'm not even here.

"Hi, Matt!" Bonnie waved fanatically. I told her not to be shy in school, and she took that as a challenge, now every time I turn a corner— there she is smiling and saying "hi, Matt!" It's cute, though.

"Hey," I walk over and hug her in front of all her friends, and in return, she gives me a lollipop. "Thanks."

It's fun being liked. I don't think it happens a lot with me, but when it does, it's always a girl who wants to give me things to show they like me. How cool is that?

"Damn, save some for the rest of us," Campbell complains when I come back to him and Dennis.

"Stop saying that."

"I might...soon."

"Beverly Bailor," Dennis sings.

"Beverly I've wanted for two years Bailor."

"Is she coming to the party?" I questioned.

"Yeah, with me, I asked and she said 'yes,' because— she wants me."

Dennis snickered. "Or because she's on the rebound after her sister hooked up with her boyfriend."

"I liked her before she grew boobs, I thought that was supposed to mean something to girls."

"Tell her at the party and see how she feels about it," I say sarcastically.

"You're coming, right?" Dennis asked.

"I'm the only supplier, right?"

"That's what I told everybody."

"And I can bring my friends from my neighborhood?"

"You don't need an invitation to a party."

"Don't know why we don't know them already," Campbell nudged me.

"They didn't need to branch out. Now? They need to branch out."

Before they start hating each other.

"Are you ashamed of us Matty?"

"You have no idea."

We stopped walking when Dennis paused at the 7/11. "Want something out of here?"

"Alright," I shrugged.

Cam held the door for me since I was the last to walk in, but before I was fully through, I narrowed my eyes at a couple of guys that look like they stopped walking when we did.

I swear I've seen them around here...

"I'm fucking starving," Dennis fixed his eyes on the encased hotdogs.

"Me too. Spot me?" Campbell looked between the two of us.

"I got you," I reply, watching the door again when the two guys from outside walk in.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I swear they looked right at me.

Dennis points to the Slurpee machine, and I go over to it with him. He fills his cup with blue and I fill mine with red and then we pour it back and forth until they're both purple.

"Yo, Matt," Campbell called from the back of the store, "can I get a soda?"

"Yeah," I say, following Dennis to the counter, and using Campbell's absence as a reason to catch another glimpse of the guys tailing me.

The cashier rings up the hotdog and the Slurpee, and Dennis pays with crumpled bills from his pocket.

"Thanks, man," Cam puts his stuff on the counter while Dennis is getting his change back.

"No problem."

I could've given the cashier all the money in my wallet with the way I wasn't paying attention. The mirror they use to catch shoplifters has a perfect view of those weird dudes walking through the aisles and grabbing nothing. It's like they're waiting for me to leave...

"Ready?" Dennis asked.

Campbell grabbed his bag and handed me my Slurpee as a way to bring me back into focus.

"We're going to your place?" He said to me while we were halfway out of the door.

I thought for a minute and glanced over my shoulder...I'm still being followed.

They have no bags, no drinks, nothing...they're just watching me.

"Nah...your place," I respond nervously.

He laughed, "What do you keep looking back for?"

________________________

* The Innocents (1961)