"Can we take a break?" I sit up on my bed, "I can't even focus on what you're saying anymore."

"Leo, we're almost done," Heather sighs. "After we go over this chapter,you'll retake last week's quiz, and I can score you on it to see what you need to work on."

I narrow my eyes at her, "Is this fun for you? Are you apart of that weird sub-human group that finds math exciting?"

"It's not fun, it's important," she states, "and that's your problem, physics has a lot of math, and you're not good at it."

"That's why you're here, butterfly." I lay back down on my bed.

"I can't take the class for you, Leo." She closes her textbook. "You have a five minute break, that's it, okay?"

"Great, I'm going to go get a drink, you want something?"

"No, thank you," Heather says plainly, not even bothering to look at me. I think she has a habit of pretending she's alone, I've seen her do it a lot. She zones out and starts sketching random things, drawing over them until they're even more random than before. There are weird creatures on half of the assignmentsshe makes me do.

She zones out like that in class too, I guess that's how she copes with boredom.

I grab two cream sodas from the fridge before returning to her.

"Here you go," I slide it across the desk.

That's where I used to have my TV, but my mom made me move it to the top of my dresser, instead, so that Heather would have a surface to work on. We poor mindlessly accommodate for the rich.

"But I said I didn't want-"

"You say 'no' to everything I offer you, Heather. I'm not going to poison you, I swear." I put my hands up in surrender.

She nods and sends me a small smile before grasping the can in her hands.

"Thanks, Leo."

"You're welcome," I mutter.

I subtly glance over and smirk in amusement as she tries to open the can without scratching the polish on her nails. I would've done it for her, but this is more fun.

I walk over to my cassettes and scan through them to find an album to listen to. I need to relax as much as possible in these five minutes if I'm going to deal with Heather and more studying afterward.

I get stressed out so easily lately. It probably has something to do with me laying off the cigarettes. I only allow myself two a day because quitting cold turkey didn't work out for me. Being at school with the centrals makes me want to smoke a whole pack, so bringing school home with me makes me want to smoke ten.

I settle on Nirvana's Nevermind because there's something about the guitar distortion that just alleviates all the tension in my body. I don't want to be that guy who adds to the over-hyping of a band, but grunge will live on longer than me, and Nirvana will still be iconic.

Heather looks over at me when the music starts to play, and I can't read her look of judgment.

"You're not allowed to complain about it.This is my room, sorry I'm not into Madonna," I roll my eyes.

She scoffs in response, "no Madonna? What a pity," Heather says sarcastically before taking a sip of the soda.

"Well, what do you listen to then?" I pretend to be less curious than I actually am.

She stands and walks over to where I am by the cassette player. I watch her fingers glide over the buttons before she fast forwards to track two on the album.

I laugh to myself and accept defeat.

"You could've just said you liked what I put on."

"You shouldn't have assumed I didn't," Heather shrugs.

"In my defense, Ihear Cyndi Lauper every time you and your friends drive off."

"Audrey's Friday night anthem is Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, I shouldn't have to take the blame for that."

"I can only imagine what's played at the parties she throws," I shake my head disappointedly.

"Not Green Day, I can tell you that," She says as she passes me the cassette of their album.

"Alright, this is cool. Show me what else you like," I smile at her admirably.

"I don't know most of these bands..." she admits, "but I like Radiohead, Pixies, The Offspring-"

"What about Smashing Pumpkins?"

"That's their name?" Heather furrows her eyebrows, and I chuckle in response.

"They're fucking great, you'll love them," I say with confidence.

I rush over to get my Walkman from the top drawer of my nightstand. The walls are too thin for me to be able to play music at a proper volume and that just doesn't do the songs justice.

I motion Heather over to me as I sit back down on the bed, she sits across from me patiently as I find a song to play.

Her body tensed when I pushed her hair behind her ears so that the headphones would go on comfortably, and she seemed shy at how close I was. When I backed away, her nerves calmed down, the only evidence of fluster being the way she's avoiding eye contact now— and I smirk at the fact that I made her nervous in the first place.

I could hear the music emitting from the headphones, and I smiled at the parts that made her smile and nod along with the song.

I made the rock horns with my hand and jokingly head-banged with the last chorus of the song. She laughed and mimicked my actions until it was over.

"So, what'd you think?" I wait anxiously for an answer.

"I think..." she dragged on, "the break is over."

"Hello, boys," I nodded toward Jace and Trevor as I joined them at the lunch table.

"Carey? It's about time you remembered you have friends," Jace comments.

"What do you mean by that?"

I'm always around, he's the one with the girlfriend, the lacrosse practice, and the internship with his father.

"You've been spending more time with Alison than you have with us. Must be getting serious."

"Serious?" I say slyly, "you tell me." I take the Polaroids out of my uniform jacket pocket and lay them out on the table.

"Oh, my god," Jace gasps and grabs the pictures. "Are you crazy? You're gonna get us all...in...trouble." His train of thought fades as he goes through the pictures.

I pretty much blew the whole pack of film on pictures of Ali, but I didn't bring all of them for show and tell. The photos of her open-legged and fingers coated are locked up in my bedroom. She can thank me later.

"Nice one, Carey. For a minute there, you had me thinking you couldn't do it," Trevor smirks. "Come by the hotel later to collect your prize."

I moved back home last week, my parents were so grateful to see me, they didn't even yell like I thought they would. Living with Trevor was fun for a while, but I'm not like him. Sometimes stability isn't a bad thing.

"It was all too easy," I say smugly. "Try to keep this under wraps, okay? I haven't told her it's over yet," I speak mainly to Jace, he has a habit of oversharing with Heather.

"You're evil, the girl is obsessed with you," Jace chuckles.

"I'm nice enough to let you keep one of them, aren't I?"

"Really?" He lights up at the thought.

"Take your pick," I shrug.

He chooses the one where she's looking sweetly at the camera, her shirt wrapped around her arms and her arms around her waist. It was the first picture I snapped, and it's a good choice.

"I can't believe she actually let you do this, Heather would kill me if I even suggested it," Jace says in disbelief.

"Looks like you chose the wrong girl then."

"I don't know, Heather's good to me in other ways," Jace sighs.

"Then why are you keeping a naughtypicture of her best friend?"

"A guy has got to have something to jerk off to, right?"

"Danny," Val shakes me gently to wake me up.

"Hm?" I hummed sleepily.

"Your dad called, he's back home now," She said softly.

My heart jumped at the thought. Going home, facing him, it all seems too nerve-racking.

"I don't want to go home, Val," I mumble.

"You don't have to, baby," her hand combs through my hair. "I just don't want to leave you by yourself, you should think about going back to school."

"Next week, I promise."

"Okay, Danny," she sighs. "I'm hanging out with Cherry today, I'll be back later. There are leftovers in the refrigerator, don't forget to eat."

"Stop worrying about me." But I love you for it.

"I'd worry less if you would just tell someone else what's going on. I keep telling your friends that you're fine, but soon that won't be enough."

"Why is it so wrong that I want to be alone or with you, no exceptions?"

It feels nice being with her, but optimally, I'd probably rather be alone. I don't like having to depend on other people, it's likely a side effect of taking care of myself for so long. I would rather cry by myself in the dark than lean on someone who might fuck me over.

"It's not wrong, baby, it's unhealthy." She presses her lips together before grabbing her purse and walking out of the room.

Val lives with her older sister Mariana, and her sister's boyfriend. Her sister is a stripper at a club I can no longer get into, and I'm pretty sure her boyfriend is a dealer. He always has something on him, but he also has a day job at a bicycle shop. Val got wait-listed for Addington like a lot of the other kids who went to our old school, now she goes toChester.

Val's life wasn't all that great either until she moved here. Her mom dated sleazy guys and didn't give a shit about her. As soon as Mariana turned eighteen, she took Val and moved out. I'm glad someone saved my girl, not all of us can be that lucky.

The phone rang again on her nightstand. I covered my head with a pillow, but it wouldn't drown out the sound. Val just had to be one of the people who keeps a phone in her room.

I groaned in annoyance before picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Daniel Lee Cole, is that you?" My breath hitched at the sound of my dad's voice.

"Yeah...it's me, dad," I sigh.

"Are you coming home, tonight?" He asks with hope in his voice.

"I don't think so, tomorrow maybe."

"Oh, okay then. I just wanted to say good morning...or good afternoon, I guess because-"

I interrupt his rambling, "See you tomorrow, dad."

"Yeah, alright, see you, Danny."

I hang up the phone immediately and then breathe deeply as I run my hands over my face.

Every time I close my eyes, I see him hurt the way he was that night. I don't know when it will wear off, or if it ever will. I refuse to fucking cry about it, no more crying!

I need to get a really high paying job after I graduate because I'm going to need a goddamn shrink to deal with the shit he puts me through.

The most fucked up thing about all of this is that I'm scared when he's sober. I know it's only a matter of time before it changes. I blame myself when he's drunk because I think that maybe if I kept him company, he wouldn't drink. Even though I know he drinks whether I'm there or not. I'm scared to hang with my friends or stay out for a night because I think he'll be lonely enough to drink himself to death.

I'd like to meet whatever divine intervention is preventing me from pouring a bottle of pills in my mouth and washing it down with my dad's beer, something with that much power needs to be thanked in person.