《Jotaro Kujo (Part 6) - Remember Us》Breathe
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We had a few more nights left at Morioh. After another nice day in this town, we were in bed. We haven't had an incident at all in the last few days. We were going to make sure to get a good night of sleep before seeing our friends again the next day.
I was laying on my side of the bed half asleep. I was facing Jotaro seeing his outline in the dark.
Jotaro got up from the bed. His footsteps traveled to the window of the room, then back to the bed. He laid back down.
I could assume he felt some wrong, or maybe he just wanted to look outside. Either way, he didn't say anything.
Just when I was about to drift asleep, he got up from bed again. He walked to the window and came back to bed again.
Maybe he was feeling uneasy.
Hoping that everything was alright, I closed my eyes and hoped to drift back asleep.
Then he got up from the bed again.
I sighed and reached out for him. I managed to grab his shirt. I mumbled, "Hun, what's wrong?"
"Mm," was all he said.
I sat up and turned on the lamp beside the bed. I finally got a good view of him.
Jotaro looked very tired. He gulped as he looked at me. Then his eyes darted to the window. "Someone could be..." His voice trailed off.
I came to him and noticed that his breaths were deep and speeding up. It was like he was tiring from running while staying in place.
"Hey, um, are you okay?"
Jotaro breathed, "I-." His mouth clamped shut. It was like he didn't want to say anything.
Or he just couldn't.
"It's okay, Jotaro." I placed my hand on his shoulder hoping he would calm down.
But he pulled away.
Oh, that's not good.
Star Platinum manifested in between the two of us. He was more expressive than Jotaro. He was clutching his chest with an afraid look as his eyes darted all over the room.
Jotaro took a few steps back until his back against the wall. He wrapped his arms around his chest and trembled.
Okay, I've dealt with that before. He didn't want to be touch, so I'll just sit beside him like last time. Let him catch his breath and calm down. Let it run its course.
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I walked around Star to stand beside Jotaro. I wish I could do something. I could only watch Jotaro hyperventilate and tremble.
He slid down the wall until he was sitting. He put his hand to his head to grab the hat that wasn't there. He tensed. Then he quickly placed his hand over his eyes.
I quickly jumped up and grabbed his hat from the bedside table. When I got it, I kneeled down in front of him and tapped the hand that were covering his face with his hat.
He looked at it and grabbed it. He placed it over his head. He wouldn't look up. A knee pulled up to his chest as he only loosened up just a little.
I sat in front of him. "Do you feel sick?"
He shook his head. He put his hand to his chest. "My heart... it's thumping hard."
"Okay," I nodded. "Can you breathe?"
"I'm going to die," he breathed. "I'm supposed to be dead."
I inhaled sharply through my nose. It hurt to see him like this. It was a panic attack or something. I didn't understand this stuff. I couldn't figure out what exactly to do.
Would waiting it out help in any way in this situation?
What in the world am I supposed to do?
I tried to think of all the things that could comfort a person in that position. I decided to get up and grab the cover from the bed. He didn't want me to touch him, but maybe something else would help. I wrapped the covers around his shoulders.
Thankfully, it caused better response.
Jotaro grabbed the edge of the cover to wrap it tighter around himself.
Maybe...
I slowly reached with the cover in between us. I got on my knees and wrapped my arms around him loosely.
He didn't argue. In fact, he leaned against my chest.
Okay, that was progress.
"Tighter," he said.
I squeezed tighter. My arms were flat against him.
"Tighter."
I squeezed tighter. I could feel his heart still racing, but his breathing was slowing down. "Is this good enough?"
"Yes."
"Good. Focus on breathing, okay?"
He nodded.
We stayed like that for what felt like hours. Thankfully, during that time, he gradually calmed.
Finaly, he said, "Okay."
I pulled back a little and looked him. "Okay?"
He nodded, "Okay."
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I let go of him. I just stayed sitting in front of him. I wanted to make sure he was really okay.
He wouldn't look at me as he said, "Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry for not noticing sooner." I really wished I reacted sooner. Maybe it wouldn't have been as bad as it was. I didn't want him to go through that again.
"Let's go back to bed," he grumbled. He finally looked at me and guilt shone in his eyes. "I'm sorry." Something triggered him to look a bit alarmed. He reached out to me and grabbed my face with both hands.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
He said barely audible, "You looked... scared."
Oh. "I was just worried. That's all. Don't be sorry. It's okay. I promise. I just want you to feel better. Okay? Please don't worry about me so much." I didn't want him to feel worse! I tried smiling. "See? Don't worry."
Jotaro exhaled. He pulled away from me averting his eyes from mine. He seemed unable to figure out what to say.
Neither could I. Was I putting pressure on him to hide how he felt? Was I pushing him away? I had no idea.
After an awkward silence between us that felt like hours, Jotaro leaned forward and held me close. He said, "Thank you. I know you mean well. Sometimes it can be hard to use the right words when overwelmed... I would know." He rubbed into my shoulder blades and said, "I don't know what I would do without someone like you."
I scoffed, "How did it turn from me comforting you to other way around?"
He replied, "I can't always be the one being sought after. You matter too." He let his words digest before saying, "I don't want you feel bad in expense of me feeling better."
"But I want you to feel better. I don't like seeing you go through that." I stumbled over my words. "I mean, it's not your fault, if you thought about that. Um, if not, don't worry about it... um."
"I know," he said calmly. "You had my back this whole time. You're just empathetic. I don't want to burden you with all my problems."
I pulled back to look him in the eyes. "How are you finding the right words so easily?"
"Mm," he shrugged.
We share another long silence.
He pat my back and said, "Let's get to bed. We can worry about this tomorrow. I feel fine for now, so it's fine." He let go of me to hold my hand.
I nodded, "Okay." I'll take his word for it.
We got to bed. I glanced at the clock and noticed only ten minutes has gone by. That was all.
I wrapped my arms around his waist to hold him close.
Jotaro's hand drew circles on my back until we both drifted to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up to hearing Jotaro talking in a low voice. I couldn't hear him clearly since he wasn't in the room. I could only feel the deep vibration of his voice.
I got up and went to the door separating us. I cracked the door open.
"Hm..." he mumbled. He was standing at the table and looking out the window. "Yes, next week would be the best time since I'm in Morioh at the moment. Alright..." He wrote down on a piece of a paper. "I'll see you then. Thank you." He hung up his phone. He turned seeing me. "Good morning.," he greeted. "Did I wake you up?"
"No," I looked at the paper inquisitively. "What's that about? No dangerous business, right?" I came over to him and let him lean a little, so I could give him a kiss on the cheek.
"No," he said. "I was making an appointment to get my psyche examined."
"Really?" I said surprised.
He nodded.
"That's great!" I really meant it. He may have lost most of his memories, but he has been through so much that simply forgetting it did not help. I couldn't believe that I almost gave him up when Jolyne and I found out about his amnesia. He needed proper help, and I was glad he took that first step instead of isolating himself. He had a very bad track record of doing that.
I reached for his hand and gave him a supportive squeeze. "I'm so proud of you."
A light blush glowed on his face. A small smile grew on his face. "Thank you."
"Alright!" I said. "Let's get ready to go out and eat! And now we got something to celebrate!"
He nodded.
...
A/n this may not last much longer. Just a warning as I am running out of ideas. Who else am I missing to mention?
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