It's July, and Silva decides that it's been way too long since he's taken his crew on a good old-fashioned family vacation where they can spend some nice quality time together.

He thinks about it. "Let's just cruise up to the Padokea coast and get some beach time in."

He flips open his laptop, briefly scans Airbnb Luxe, then summons one of the butlers. "Book the most expensive ocean-front one for a week. Put it on the black card. Oh, and make sure it has at least six bedrooms."

-When they get to the Airbnb, he immediately strips off his shirt, makes a comment about how he works damn fucking hard for a living and to keep his family housed in such luxury and does he get any respect for it? He then strides off to the beach

-He's very DILFy in his swim trunks. Looks kinda hot for a middle-aged dude

-Spends the entire vacation barking work orders on his phone and largely ignores everyone

-Says he gets to choose the restaurant every night for dinner. When anyone protests, he snaps, "Didn't I say? No respect at all"

-Flits about in a huge sunhat, cocktail perpetually in hand

-Is inordinately proud of the fact that she is in her late 40s and can still pull off a bikini, although she's slightly anorexic and her body kind of looks like Kelly Ripa's

-To her sons' horror, she gets up from her beach chair and they discover she's actually wearing a thong

-"Mom, seriously?"

-"I work hard for this body. No thanks to all of you. Do you know what having five kids does to your figure?"

-Reluctantly goes to the beach and nightly dinners with everyone

-Sits and listens to them all argue and nitpick at each other

-Wonders WTF he did in a past life to deserve siring a fucked-up family

-Bribes a local to score him some pot

-Goes to the beach, applies 100+ SPF meticulously, puts on his thousand-dollar Cartier aviators

-Tries to relax

-This is Illumi: He can't relax

-Finally resorts to pulling a pin out of his pocket and jamming it into his bicep in hopes it will chill himself out

-The news crews from TMZ get this on camera and do a story about spoiled rich kids shooting up in broad daylight and partying on vacation

-Is in a bad mood because the butler fucked up and only got five bedrooms instead of six, so he has to share with Killua

-Decides, in a snit, that he will hole up in the Airbnb and just watch videos all day long instead of going to the beach with everyone

-Discovers the wifi is spotty

-Screams, "DAD, you need to FIRE THIS ASSHOLE BUTLER already!"

-They force him to go to the beach and he refuses to take his shirt off

-Is the only halfway normal one in the bunch

-Goes surfing every day

-He shreds

-Come on. Don't be ridiculous

-Everyone forgets about him because he's the youngest

-He decides this is the perfect opportunity to run away and join the Phantom Troupe

-Chrollo sends a private helicopter to pick him up

-It lands on the sand, right in front of the entire family

-Kalluto calmly gets in and is airlifted away

-At dinner that night, Silva says, "Where the fuck is Kalluto?"

-Everyone shrugs. "Dunno"

-Milluki: "Can I have his bedroom so I don't have to look at Killua's ugly ass in his jockey shorts all week?"