Okay, based off my last chapter...I'll be positive now!

I made some suggestions about things we need less of in HxH fanfic. May I now suggest a small handful of things we could use A LOT MORE OF? (Rubbing hands in glee)

1) . Dude, this guy gets no love. Every other male in this series is getting laid up down and sideways, having 30 children, straight gay and bisexual scenes up the wazoo...and we get NO LEORIO. We get more Pariston than we get Leorio fic! What the sam hill is this nonsense? I say we change this, immediately! Get to work!

2) . Riffing off the above. Everyone talks about how hot they think Mr. Wing is, but do we have any good nasty dirty Mr. Wing fic? NOOOOOO. Get to work, I say!

3) . Admit it. You think Meruem is hot. I know he's dead, and Komugi, and all that. But why are there no filthy minds at work creating alternate scenarios for him?

4) I already know everything possible there is to know about Illumi's dick. I read fic where Illumi himself discusses the highlights of his dick. How come nobody gets into this fine detail with Chrollo and Hisoka? I want to know more about their dicks.

Don't get me wrong, there are gazillions of sex scenes with Danchou and the Magician. I'm just saying, we don't get the religious, adoring, granular descriptions of their equipment like we do Illumi's. If we get five paragraphs about Illumi's boner, I want six on Chrollo's, and seven on Hisoka's. I want Chrollo saying "Check this monster out, baby." I want Hisoka taking videos of himself and a detailed written report after. I want to know if they wax down there. I need exact measurements.

This is an area we are seriously lacking in, sportsfans. I'm bored of Illumidick. GET TO WORK.

5) I want less romantic and fey Kurapika and more nipple-pierced, teeth baring, explosively disgustingly hetero-porno Kurapika. I want Kurapika saying the F-word, dammit! I want him in Uvo-ass-kicking mode. I want him in a worse mood than Feitan! And sure, more of his dick would be fine too. Hop on it, people!

6) Okay, okay, we know the whole story up, down, right, left, etc. Killua and Illumi, yes yes. Alluka misgendered, yes yes. Milluki---if he gets mentioned at all--sitting in his room, right right right. Enough discussion of how cute and fluffy Mike is. I want some good backstory and some proposed dirt on Silva and Kikyo.

Get on it, okay? (Oh wait! I'm already writing this! Hee hee!)

7) Edited to add: We see Hisoka naked all the time, Illumi prances around in sleeveless shirts and boob-window tops, Feitan gets it all ripped completely off and blown to the wind (alas, not his pants), we even see Leorio without a shirt several times....and for heaven's sake, we get a completely nude Kurapika in 1999.

Meanwhile, Chrollo, who is sexy as fuck, never shows anything. I mean, he does the "no shirt under the coat" thing and you get a little taste of that, but come on. Lame! I want to see that spider tattoo. I am so frustrated over here. Can someone write some good fic to fill in this canonical omission?