Y'all might want to back up a few chapters to the "Honeymoon" chapter, if you haven't read it already, in order to get a few of the jokes I'm about to make here.

That said, you've been married a whole year and managed not to kill each other! Or divorce! Here's what happens on your anniversary!

-"Too young again for this scenario"

-"Grumble, grumble"

-"Hey, did your brother's hair ever grow out again after he cut it on his honeymoon?"

-"Yeah. It took a while. But he got some of those Rapid-Gro vitamins, you know, the kind you buy online"

-"Are you sure they were for his hair?"

-"Yeah. Why?"

-"Go look at the bottle again"

-Lumping these two together, because unfortunately for our funny bones, they are just plain too good. We all know neither one will forget the date, they'll get reservations at some nice restaurant, purchase a Hallmark card with a tear-jerking handwritten message inside...

-Oh wait. Leorio will do that. But he'll be half-asleep because he was on night rotation for his medical internship all week. So that will kind of kill the romance a bit and...

-Oh yeah. And Kurapika will do all that but he'll do it roughly two or three days later, maybe a whole week, after your actual anniversary. He's busy and has work, you know.

-Your phone vibrates

-"Ahhhh, don't tell me. The usual." You click on the text. "Ho, hum. Let's have the good old dick pic, Mr. Predictable"

-You look at the photo and turn redder than a tomato

-"Okay, hell, I admit it, he really outdid himself this time!"

-Presents you with a wrapped box

-You eagerly rip it open to find a long black ponytail inside

-"Look! I made them save it when they cut it off! It's a token of our honeymoon!"

-You stare at him, speechless

-"And look at this! A card from my mom!"

-You open it.

-"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. WHEN ARE YOU TWO GOING TO GIVE ME GRANDCHILDREN ALREADY?"

-You were planning on giving him a good time tonight. Sad trombone noise

-It's been a full year and although Chrollo pitched a fit for months over the fact that you refused to take his last name, you think by now he is finally over it

-He comes home from work. "Happy anniversary, baby!" He hands you a jewelry box

-You open it up. It's a gold and diamond necklace that spells out M-R-S-L-U-C-I-L-F-E-R

-"And there's more!"

-He takes you outside. There's a brand-new Lexus parked in the driveway

-You look closer. The license plate says MS LCLFR

-Rolling your eyes skyward in exasperation, you see a plane fly by

-To your surprise, it begins to skywrite in enormous letters across the horizon

-HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Y/N LUCILFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-"Remember how I basically slept through our entire honeymoon?"

-"Yeah. I'll never forget"

-"Remember how you got some speed from the locals?"

-"Yeah. You still didn't wake up"

-"Do you still have it? Let's do it tonight"

-Tells you to pack a bag and jump in the car

-VEGAS REDUX, BABY!