《》Father's Day
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We already covered Mother's Day in the Boyfriends Pt. 1 book, which you can go back and have a looksee at if you like, but now that Mother's Day is here...
It's time for FATHER'S DAY coming atcha hot.
How to mark this occasion?
-Umm....
-"After, you know, about a year in therapy, I've finally come to the realization that my dad is kind of a messed-up guy, and that whole entire scene where we had a nice father-son conversation together in his room was total gaslighting. But you know, even though he's a narcissistic fuck, I can forgive him for his sake. I'm hoping we can move on to have a healthy relationship one day when I am able to trust my boundaries."
-"This again?"
-"My father is DEAD"
-"I HATE THESE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!"
-"Nobody apparently knows anything about my dad, but everyone sure likes to talk about what a good dad I would make!"
-"Who's YOUR daddy, little girl? Eh?"
-Buys his dad a card that says "Happy Father's Day from your favorite son"
-Passive-aggressively crosses out "Favorite" and writes "SECOND FAVORITE" above it with a black marker
-Writes inside, "Best wishes from Illumi. You know, your NON TRANSMUTER child (hahaha lolz love you dad j/k j/k). You know, the only kid who is actually OUT THERE MAKING MONEY FOR THE FAMILY while everyone else is dicking around with their little buddies, experimenting with gender identity, whacking off to hentai, and joining gangs. (hahahahah lolololol Pops love you j/k j/k)
-We don't know anything about his dad, but I kind of get the feeling he was a wife-beating child abusing son of a motherfucking bitch, don't you? I mean, shit. Look at what his kid turned out to be.
-"Father's Day is very painful for me"
-"BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW I AM STRIPPED OF MY TRUE LINEAGE AS THE OLDEST SON OF THE ZOLDYCK CLANNNNNNNNNNNNN"
-"Fuck my father, whoever he is!"
-"I have no idea who my dad is, but man you all are a bunch of messed-up puppies, aren't you?"
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