Ahh, feeling guilty about messing around with y'all yesterday.

What would happen on a sessy date with Illumi? Here's what I've cooked up for ya.

-He texts you midweek, being a perfect "The Rules" man and making sure he secures a date with you by Wednesday for a Saturday evening

-"Hi," he says. "It's been a long time since I've seen you! Can I take you out for sushi on Saturday? A new place just opened up that's supposed to be good"

-He's a rich little fuck so he knows he can afford the best place in town.

-He had one of the butlers do a Yelp scan to find the newest coolest joint

-Drums his fingers on his desk, humming a satisfied tune

-You don't know this but he's actually flicking through his Tinder and his Grindr while he's waiting for your response.

-He contemplates upgrading since he has so many dang matches but decides it's not worth the money. Even rich people can be penny pinchers at times

-Puts the date completely out of his mind after you text back and say yes.

-He concentrates on work for the next two days and does not respond to any of your texts

-You are half out of your mind over him so you agonize over what to wear. Plus you are desperate to just, like, talk to him.

-"Um is there like a dress code at this restaurant?" you text. "Is it outdoor seating? Do I need to bring a coat?"

-He ignores you

-You text all your girlfriends in a fury, wondering if you should stand him up

-They all tell you he's a self-satisfied little prick and to ditch him, but of course you are a weak simp and you don't listen

-He shows up right on time Saturday night

-You are dressed to the nines and he says, "You look nice"

-FFS you spent two hours getting ready, not counting your blowout and nail appointment, and THAT is what you get?

-The restaurant is great

-He orders anything and everything off the menu with a casual, "I don't care what this costs" attitude

-You get drunk on sake--the expensive kind, of course

-He barely touches the alcohol, saying that he has to keep himself in shape, he's in training

-After dinner, one of the butlers picks you up in an imposing black car and the two of you make out in the back seat as you zoom toward the Zoldyck mansion

-"Oh," he says. "I never asked if you wanted to come over, did I? But as long as we are here..."

-You're so drunk on the sake you can't really argue or push back. Okay fine

-He takes you inside the Zoldyck mansion and shows you his room. He has a full-on suite

-"We all have our own suites, there's plenty of room here," he says, comfortably.

-Puts on some music. He has awful taste. You beg him to turn it off or at least let you pick a song

-"Naw," he says. "I like this song. So, are you spending the night with me or what?"

-Helplessly, you nod your head

-He laughs and his long black hair goes flying all over his face

-"Just warning you. I got an early morning tomorrow. Don't get mad if I have to boot you out at a kind of ungodly hour"

-"So that said...let's get on with it"