Y'all need Jesus.

Time to do Sunday morning.

Here's how it goes.

-Make faces at the idea of having to go to a church service and sit still and behave themselves for an hour or so

-They also aren't thrilled about having to dress up

-You tell them to get their asses in the shower, scrub up, and put on their good clothes before you knock them silly

-They grumble but do it. They both clean up real nice

-They manage to keep a lid on it for the first 15 minutes or so, but pretty soon are giggling and throwing spitballs at each other and looking for sex references in the Bible

-You tell them they are grounded from their PS5s for a week

-Sits with a grim expression on his face and prays silently the entire time

-You hear him murmuring, "I swear to the Scarlet Eyes..."

-Is a good sport about this and puts on a nice suit and all that

-But falls asleep during the sermon/homily

-To your horror, he lets out a loud snore right at the important part

-A bolt of lightning strikes him down in a burst of flames as he walks through the church doors

-He's Jewish. He doesn't do Jesus

-Greets the minister with a smile, then while walking to the pews, gives him a surreptitious chop to the neck and fells him

-Takes over the pulpit

-Gleefully preaches about fire and brimstone like a motherfucking pro

-Looks really scared the entire time

-Is he actually headed for Hell?

-Immerses his entire head in the holy water fountain in a panic

-Is completely bored and sneaks his phone out to play games

-He's an atheist