Wait, what, they haven't started their own Big Top yet?

Let's run away and join the circus...we've got jobs for everyone...

-He's the animal trainer, of course

-Although he's an expert with the beasts, he obsessively watches old Siegfried & Roy videos "just, you know, to make sure I don't mess anything up"

-Asks permission from the Zoldycks to put Mike in the show

-Suggests putting a skate ramp in the ring so he can show off

-Is told this is a lame idea and he's being lazy

-He says "Fine. I'll walk the tightrope"

-He has the easiest but most impressive job of all

-He wraps himself in a shit ton of chains

-Stands out in the ring

-"ANNOUNCING...THE STRONGEST MAN ON EARTH!"

-Boom! He busts all the chains, to everyone's amazement

-(He fakes a huge, sweaty effort doing this...turns out he's quite the actor)

-"Please don't give me a boring job like being the emergency medic on duty"

-He's the emergency medic on duty

-Um.............

-He is the guy behind the scenes who deals with city officials about zoning laws and other boring crap

-You go to check up on him in the mobile office and you hear him on the phone: "Look, Bruce, don't make me pin you to the wall on this. I have the lease in front of me and it says we're clear through December. By the way, I hear your boss is running for state assembly in the fall, amirite? If he wants to put his little "John For 2022" signs in front of our tent, I suggest you quit giving me shit about our terms."

-Sits in the admission booth and sells tickets

-Whistles a little tune as he bypasses encryption and steals everyone's credit card data

-Puts on his Pain Packer/Rising Sun gear

-They shoot him out of a cannon

-He's the circus ringmaster

-He's dressed in a red coat, top hat, the whole works, and yells, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest show on earth!"

-I just had to give you that visual, you can thank me later