Everyone is very hot and bothered at the discovery that they are basically being used as Internet porn without their consent (well, except Hisoka).

Gon calls together an emergency meeting to discuss this situation.

-(Is still in fits of uncontrollable giggles...I mean, the kid is only in what, 8th grade?)

-When he can speak, he says, "Okay, look. I was pretty shocked by what I read here. Killua and I are only 14 years old and there is some really naughty fiction about us together. Does anyone else have any concerns?"

-"Dude. Forget about the teen porn. I have visions in my head that will haunt me forever"

-"I mean, I know he's technically a consenting adult and everything, but you really do not want to think about your brother, uh...you know...uh...."

-(Alluka and Kalluto's ears prick up and they scream in unison, "Ooooh! What did they write about Onii-san?!!!")

-(Illumi snaps, "Never you mind...they wrote that I'm a real swell guy who volunteers at the nursing home and donates half his salary to charity every year. And if I catch either of you looking this up...")

-"Technically I don't think there is much we can do. If we were to try and get a lawsuit going, they'd just say that the fanfic was satire. It doesn't exactly hurt our reputation, so we can't say they are libeling us."

-(Laughs) "Hell, it helps my reputation"

-"Shut up, Hisoka, you run your mouth too much. Among other things"

-"I found the literature to be rather amusing myself, though"

-"Literature? I thought you were a doctor. Did you actually go to school?"

-"I am not opposed to descriptions about how throbbingly hot I am, but I can't in any good faith call this serious. Kurapika is right, we can't really do anything but just ride this out."

-(Looks at a string of texts that just came in on his phone)

-"Fuck you, Milluki, I'm going to make you sorry you ever were born, asswipe"

-(Can't talk, is still bright red, is silently praying it all goes away soon)

-"Oh my God, Nobunaga has more smut scenarios than I do!"