In honor of republishing this book, let's go back to the very first scenario, but make it YOU who calls HIM first. Getchoo something gurrrrl!

-(Answers the phone) "Hello? Who's this?"

-"Hi. No, I'm sorry, I don't remember..."

-"At the gym?"

-(Puts on a kind of cheesy tone) "Oh right right, yes, THAT day. Leg day, you say?"

-"Do I want to go out sometime? Okay."

-(Hangs up) "Who the heck was that? I hope they are good-looking."

-(Doesn't recognize number, lets phone ring)

-(You call again, wondering if your friend gave you the wrong number for him)

-(After the fourth time, he finally picks up)

-"Look, asshole, whoever this is--I'll inform you this call is being recorded and traced and if you try anything funny you will be very sorry."

-(Listens for a minute) "....Oh. Well, hi. Yeah. Sure it's okay she gave you my number. Um, do I want to go out? Um...okay."

-(Hangs up, then calls his older brother. Hoots of laughter are heard coming out of the earpiece) "Milluki, shut the fuck up, and if you recorded that, you better just delete it right now. Unless you want me to make you, piggy."

-Answers the phone in a crisp tone giving his name and job title

-"Why hello, I'm afraid I don't--"

-"Oh yes, we both know--"

-"She gave you my number? Isn't that sweet"

-"Would I like to go out sometime?"

-(Checks his calendar app) "It just so happens I have a light week. Saturday work? I'll get us a reservation somewhere. Text me your address and I'll see you at 8."

-(Answers phone with a sleepy grunt)

-"Hello? This better be good"

-"Who's this?" (Comes awake)

-"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I was on a night shift and I was catching up on sleep before my next rotation"

-"You must think I'm a total asshole"

-"Would I like to meet up sometime? Sure thing"

-(Hangs up and rubs his head, cursing to himself) "I am going to have to tell (your mutual friend) to warn me next time she gets it in her head to fix me up"

-(Answers phone) "You've reached the original den of iniquity, what can I do for you today?"

-(Listens for a few minutes) "She gave you my number?"

-(Snickers rudely) "What a naughty girl she is"

-"Did she give you any warning about what you might be getting into?"

-"Sure, sure, let's go out. Why don't you just come over here? Easier"

-(Answers phone on first ring) "Yo"

-"Who?"

-"Okay, yeah, but just a note, this is my work phone and I can't talk long"

-"WHO gave you my number?"

-"Okay, okay, fine...that's fine"

-"Do I want to go out? (Other line beeps)

-"Gotta jam, sorry. Call me another time. NOT on this phone please. Hit my personal line. Bye"

-(Waits for you to leave a voicemail, then runs your voice through a little decoder machine to make sure you aren't some sort of enemy deployment)

-(Calls you back) "Hi. Chrollo here. Missed your call?"

-"She gave you my number? Hmmm..."

-(You can't figure what he means by that hmmm)

-"Well, you certainly come well-recommended. Do I want to go out sometime?"

-"Sure, but let me pick the time and place, okay? I have kind of a...classified job."

-(Answers phone and doesn't say anything, just waits silently)

-"Yes, this is Feitan"

-"Who gave you this number?"

-"All right" (Goes silent again)

-"Yes, I can meet up sometime. Needs to be late at night."

-"Hey, hey!"

-"Who's this?"

-"Do I want to--"

-"Very funny, Feitan"

-"What do you mean, what do I mean very funny Feitan?"

-"I'm going to kill you, Fei"

-"What?"

-"Uh...she did?"

-"She thought we'd hit it off?"

-(Laughs) "Phew. I thought one of my friends was pranking me."