《hunter x hunter》When They Get High
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You're walking along in the forest, minding your own business, when you hear a bunch of giggling coming from behind a tree. You go to investigate:
-It's Gon and Killua, and they are smoking something, and giggling fit to kill
-"What is that?" you say suspiciously
-They just laugh harder
-You tackle Gon and wrestle a bag out from his jacket pocket.
-It's a huge sack of weed. "Where did you get this," you demand
-"We found it in Kite's backpack while he was out hunting," Killua chokes out
-"Oh my God," you bark. "You guys are 12 years old!"
-They burst into uproarious giggles. "NO, WE'RE FOURTEEN!" they say in unison
-"I'm telling Bisky," you say. "She's going to rack your asses!"
-"That old hag," hoots Killua. Gon falls on the ground in hysterics, gasping for air
-"Okay, fine, Killua," you say, angrily. "I'm going to tell ILLUMI, then, how about that"
-Gon looks at Killua, widens his eyes, puts a blank expression on his face, and stretches his hand out toward Killua's forehead. "Killua," he says in a robotic monotone. "Are you smoking weed. This is very bad."
-"Oh hiii, big brother," Killua simpers in return. "You're looking awfully pretty today"
-Gon replies: "I. Am going. To tell. Our father." He wiggles his fingers. "You're. In. Deep. Shit. Am I clear. Killua."
-The two burst into fresh laughter, clinging to each other.
-That's it. You march off toward Kukuroo Mountain, taking the bag of weed with you
-On your way to the Zoldyck estate you run into Pika, and tell him what just transpired
-He rubs his temples. "Oh God, this is all I need to hear. I'm having a hell of a day"
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-You roll a joint. "Want a hit? Might help"
-He takes a drag. "Thanks"
-"Come by a little bit later, OK?" he calls to you, as you go on your way
-You suddenly wonder if smoking pot is, like, damaging for kids as young as Gon and Killua. What it if stunts their growth or something?
-You decide to drop in on Leorio and probe his medical expertise
-He laughs when you tell him what happened. "They're fine," he snorts. "Especially if it came from Kite. He's like, Mr. Organic. Hey, can I have some of it? Did you take the bag?"
-You pull out the joint and let him light up
-"Hang out for a bit," he says, so you sit down
-After about a half-hour he starts begging you to run to the store for potato chips, so you get up and leave
-You remember you owe Hisoka a favor or two, so you knock on his door. Maybe this will get him off your case
-"Weed?" He says, in a disgusted tone. "What is this, kindergarten?"
-He tells you he's way beyond gateway drugs, and to come back when you actually have something the two of you can have fun with
-You finally arrive at the Zoldyck mansion, and track down Illumi
-"Killua was snooping through Kite's shit and found this," you tell him. "He's high as a goddamn hot-air balloon right now with Gon, out there in the forest."
-Illumi rolls his eyes. "How predictable," he says
-"Aren't you pissed?!" you say
-"Are you going to give the pot back to Kite?" is Illumi's practical response
-"No, let him wonder where it went," you grumble, annoyed that Illumi isn't angrier. "Here, you want to smoke some? Might as well"
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-Illumi looks bored. "I've never smoked weed before"
-You hand him the joint and he takes a drag
-He takes about four drags
-"Am I supposed to be feeling something?" he asks
-"Dude," you say. "Don't smoke any more of that, you've already inhaled enough to sedate a horse. And this is Kite's stuff we're talking about...it's not going to be weak"
-Silence. You look over, and Illumi is totally passed out with his mouth open. You shake him, but he doesn't budge
-You draw a mustache on his face with a sharpie, dip his hand into warm water, and blast Metallica's "Master of Puppets" at top volume and he still won't wake up
-You leave him there, figuring you've done your job
-Let him decide what to do with Killua and Gon
-After all that drama, you're burnt out and want to go party
-You decide to pay a visit to Chrollo; you haven't seen him in some time
-You find him sitting around, reading a book... he's such a turd
-"Chrollo, wanna get high?" you ask him
-He looks annoyed. "What is this, 12th grade?" he says, brushing you off
-You dance circles around him, singing "I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine!" over and over, until, in exasperation, he grabs the joint and takes a puff
-"There," he says. "You are so juvenile!" He returns to his book
-You wait around for a little while to see what happens.
-Pretty soon, he says to you, "Is there any ice cream in the house or anything?"
-While you're in Phantom Troupe territory, you drop in on Fei as well
-He is definitely in the Hisoka camp in terms of gateway drugs and all that, but he's never been one to pass up a toke
-You pass the dutchie with him for a little bit
-Finally, someone who gets it
-Shalnark hears you and Feitan laughing and demands to know what's going on
-Feitan hands him the joint
-He takes a drag and says "Woo. Where did this come from?"
-You tell him
-He says, "Does Kite like grow this stuff himself?"
-You tell him the story of how Gon and Killua stole it
-He breaks into hysterics. "Aw, leave the kids alone," he gasps, when he can talk
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