Everyone ready for the most wonderful time of the year? In honor of December, I present to you "The 12 Days of Christmas" with a little twist...

HISOKA STYLE. (Watch out, Santa Claus. You too, Rudolph.)

*****

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, .

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, (eh, leave Milluki out) and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, , and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, , and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, (I'm a Floor Master, baby!), and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, (just in case I lose one, and that adds up to 8, darlings!), and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, , and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, (because killing is a bloody messy business), and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, (and what a tasty snack HE is!), and unripened fruit from a pear tree.

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, (yikes! That bastard!), and unripened fruit from a pear tree!!!!!!

AND THE BEST PART?

WE GOT THROUGH THIS WITHOUT MENTIONING YOU-KNOW-WHAT* ONCE!

*bungee gum