Now, I know perfectly well that the Zoldycks aren't from (the Hunter x Hunter equivalent of) the USA*, but I figured I'd make the clan sit down for the quintessential U.S. Thanksgiving holiday anyway and allow all of you the pleasure of being flies on the wall.

If you are not from the U.S., our Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November and is an excuse to watch football and eat oneself into a coma. (Y'know, what we do pretty much every day in the USA.)

*Hisoka is 100% from the HxH USA equivalent. That boy is from LAS VEGAS, kids.

-Oh. Except Killua. He ran off.

-Oh yeah. And Alluka. She's locked up in solitary confinement, and all that.

-And oh. Will Milluki even come out of his room? Kid holes up in there 24-7. WTF is he doing in there?

-(Shakes head) Yeah, he'll come out. He likes to eat.

-Well, thank heavens for Illumi. At least we can count on him to be non-problematic.

-(Stops and thinks)

-Oh shit. He better not invite...

-Fills up a huge plate, then picks at it, eating enough to maybe feed a hamster. Chatters and giggles incessantly through the whole meal

-"Did we put enough poison in the cranberry sauce, darling?"

-Insists on that annoying thing where you go around the table one by one and everyone has to say what they are most thankful for

-When it's her turn, she cocks her head coyly and says she's grateful she's pushing 50 with five kids and "can still fit into my wedding dress."

-Yup, he's stoned again

-Keeps asking when the pumpkin pie is going to be served

-Is told that he needs to assist with the dinner by using one of his needles as a meat thermometer (he doesn't like this, but resigns himself, his mother insists the bird "comes out juicier" every year as a result).

-Yup, he invited Hisoka

-Hisoka makes horribly vile jokes about stuffing the turkey all evening long

-Zeno asks again when the pie will be ready

-Eats like a machine

-Zeno eyes him nervously.

-How many pies did Kikyo have the kitchen staff make?

-Hell naw, he's celebrating with Gon over at Aunt Mito's house

-He tells the entire table that he's thankful he's not at Kukuroo Mountain

-Nobody will dare to say it, but everyone is relieved that Alluka is in solitary, because--seriously--what if she started making all her damn requests at the table? She'd hog up all the best dishes and everyone else would be stuck eating poisoned cranberry sauce

-"Danchou, can we celebrate Thanksgiving?"

-"No. 4, you know we are very busy and have work to do."

-"Please, Danchou? I'd be so thankful!"

-(Gusty sigh) "Okay, okay. I suppose dinner can't take that long."

-"We can to go my house. There's always a huge spread there."

-By the time they troop all the way up the mountain, everyone in the Troupe is starving

-They burst into the dining room

-Illumi and Hisoka are pulling the wishbone, with Hisoka making lascivious comments about what he gets if he wins

-Zeno is fighting with Milluki over the last slice of pie

-"Well...at least there's cranberry sauce left, guys!"