Maddox POV

I never wanted to stop touching her, which sounds creepy, but it is true. Now that she is a more healthy weight, her body is just impossible to ignore. She was the perfect shape, just another feature of this perfect girl.

Of course her appearance was just the cherry on top of the sundae. I could make a book of everything perfect about her. If I had a choice, I would never leave her side.

Alas, I did not have a choice.

There was too much work to be done. I was still working on rehoming wolves from Phoenix's old pack. We had completed interviews at her pack without her, then gave her the option to redact any of our decisions.

She was fully capable of making the decisions herself, she is a strong independent woman after all, but we decided together that for her mental health it was best she avoids potentially triggering scenarios. As we had discovered most of her old pack house had the ability to provoke unwanted memories of her past into her mind. I didn't want her to suffer anymore.

But, she didn't want to make all the wolves of her old pack wait around under lockdown for her to make the choice of whether they were innocent or guilty. She claimed she felt bad for forcing them to stay stuck in the pack house before we decide what to do with them.

Her heart was truly made of gold. She cared for the wellbeing of these people who had essentially made her life a living hell for years on end. She really was a Luna at heart, caring for her people and wanting the best for them even if they didn't deserve it.

Of the 125 people in the pack, Phoenix only deemed 33 of them as guilty with varying degrees of guiltiness. She had sat down at the desk earlier this week and made a chart showing who was the worst down to those with only minor offenses. What a bizarre thing to make a chart about.

That was something I loved so much about her. She was so quirky and determined. She wanted it to be known who deserved what fate by going out of her way to make a color coded chart with descriptions included so I can weigh my own judgements in.

I was working with Isaac to determine the punishments for the wolves with different rankings of abusiveness towards my mate. In the meantime, my cousin Carter was working with Phoenix to do some paperwork for a neighboring pack that was having some internal issues. She liked keeping herself busy with work, she's told me it's like a form of escape from her mind. It must be scary having such dark thoughts and memories all the time.

Phoenix POV

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't stop them.

"Stop! Stop, Maddox is going to kill me if he thinks I made you cry!" Carter berated me.

Carter spent the last fifteen minutes telling me about this "asshole" who kept calling his phone. He went as far as leaving the number an aggressive voicemail telling them to quote, "fuck off, or he would collapse their windpipe."

Long story short, his mom had broken her phone and had just replaced it. He accidently threatened to collapse his mom's windpipe. Needless to say, his mom was not happy.

He picked up the phone call and started screaming at the receiver, when he finally stopped to take a breath, mind you five minutes later, his mom fired back. Listening to him trying to justify himself on the phone to his mom was hilarious, I was laughing so hard I began to cry.

He had thus apologized to his mom, AKA Maddox's aunt, and was now trying to convince me it wasn't that funny. He was most definitely wrong though, it was hilarious.

I genuinely don't remember the last time I laughed so hard it hurt. It was honestly therapeutic.

"Ok, ok," he tried to reason with me. "We have to get back to work." I nodded and tried to hold in the fit of giggles that wanted to explode from my mouth.

"So the Golden Moon pack has been having problems," Carter starts while I'm holding my giggles into my hand. "What?" He asks slightly annoyed, but still amused, noticing my futile attempt to stop my laughter.

"If they're having issues," I giggle, but try to pull myself together to deliver the punchline, "Should we just collapse their windpipes?"

He glares at me before we both fall into another fit of giggles.

This was not productive, but I simply did not care. After an absurd amount of time, I decided it was time to pull myself together and excused myself to the bathroom to splash some water on my face to compose myself.

Carter began to do some actual work in the meantime, and started a call with the Beta of their pack.

I made it to the bathroom and stared at my reflection in the large vanity mirror above the sink noticing my wide smile which was usually absent. It was crazy how happy I looked when I'd normally have resting bitch face or some scared, anxious demeanor.

My eyes mindlessly traveled to my arm. I shake my head confused when I realize that I've been scratching at the mark that takes up most of my forearm. How did I not notice I was doing that? My eyebrows crinkle and I stop scratching noticing it was all red, I must have been doing it for a while?

I splash cold water in my face. I'm getting in my own head. I can't let Taylor win again, I was so content literally thirty seconds ago.

I wipe the water away from my eyes and stare at my reflection. Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I see a movement, but I know it's not possible, I'm in a locked bathroom, alone.

"So, do you really think you are worthy of being queen?"

I stare at Alpha Taylor's reflection. I must be losing it. This is now the second time I am seeing things that aren't there.

"Th-this is n-not real." I manage to say aloud. The mirage of Taylor laughs and rolls his eyes taking a step closer to me. I flinch at the nearness, it felt too real. He lazily threw his arm around my shoulders and my heart began pumping on overdrive. I couldn't talk or move, I was horrified of what was happening. Why do I keep seeing this nightmare man?

"I see you haven't lost the stutter much? No surprise there really. Anyways Phoenix, dear, I am sick of being held in your little mate's cell." He said the word 'mate' as if he didn't actually believe it was real. He was mocking me. I just stood there in horror as he continued to speak.

"I know you will listen to me, I am your Alpha after all, you're physically unable to ignore me, that is until you get inducted into this pack, assuming that ever happens..." A weird side tangent to make me feel bad about being an outsider of the royal pack, phenomenal. He was really just hitting all my weak points.

"Here's what is going to happen. You are going to be a good girl and get me released from this cell. You are not going to tell anyone about this, you are not going to raise any suspicion. Hey, I'll even let you stay with the royals if you get me out, maybe not forever, but for now you can stay. Just get me out, understood?"

I was trembling, but my head nodded itself before I could even stop myself. I looked down at my shaky hands and then looked back up to Taylor. But he wasn't there. He never was.

What the hell was happening, why did I feel so utterly compelled to listen to his commands?

I stare down my arm inscribed with his name. I wanted him out of my life.

I feel myself move towards the shower, I am so out of it I can barely tell what I'm doing. I grab a razor and begin to disassemble it until it's just the blade. I didn't want to hurt myself. I just wanted his name off of my body. At least that's how I justified it with myself.

I sat down with my back to the tub and recklessly began slashing away at his name trying to make it disappear. I would rather have ugly uneven scars all over my arm than his name.

I blink hard as black dots creep into my line of vision, I hear a knock on the door, but I continue regardless.

"Um, Phoenix, are you ok in there?" I hear Carter ask through the door. After repeatedly knocking and repeating the question, I hear angry footsteps approaching and Maddox begins yelling through the door.

It doesn't matter though as my consciousness drifts away, and I find myself passed out on the bathroom floor with angry cuts on my arm.

I had to get Taylor out of my life.