Dinner made me nervous. I still wasn't accustomed to eating large quantities. I wasn't particularly comfortable in my own body. In a public restaurant I was destined to embarrass myself somehow. My clumsiness with these god forsaken casts would lead to some horrific scenario of tripping down a flight of stairs and being laughed at by my mate's mother and a slew of other restaurant patrons. 

"We're here!" Maddox announced far too excited as the car pulled into a large parking lot aside an elegant looking establishment covered in out of season Christmas lights. I opened up the passenger door only to have it immediately shut in my face. 

Maddox opens the door ceremoniously offering his hand, "My lady." I roll my eyes, what a great mate, slamming the door so he could reopen it for me. Very romantic, I definitely couldn't open that door myself. 

The sarcastic thoughts floating around my brain were nothing new. I have always been sarcastic, sassy, I was never able to express it though without a friendly punch in the face from an unamused pack member. 

We make our way into the restaurant, his mom joining us a few minutes later as she had taken her own car here. A waiter immediately sat us at a table far from the entrance. I mentally noted the back exit's proximity to us and the way back to the front entrance. I was constantly keeping track of ways out of any place I went. Nervous habit I guess.

A wave of small talk hit us at the table, Lisa, Maddox's mom, talking about a new show she was watching. Maddox chatted about paperwork we'd been drowning in. No conversation about my past or my family was brought up, despite being a pretty relevant conversation topic.

Several minutes later the waiter returned to take our orders, without hesitation I order the chicken francese, my absolute favorite. Glancing over at Maddox, I see him making a mental note about my excitement for the dish. He'd probably use that information against me in the future when I refused to eat. I imagine myself being annoying and refusing any food he offered, then him going out to get me a specific meal that I simply couldn't refuse. I blush, knowing that he would actually do that. 

Waiting for the food to come out, conversation steadily continued. It was average dinnertime talk, until Lisa mentioned something peculiar. 

"You know ever since Maddox was a toddler, he absolutely adored you."

How is that possible? I didn't meet him until just recently. Had we somehow crossed paths in the past? Even so, how could he have possibly know at such a young age that we were destined to be mates? The whole comment confused me.

"Um, w-what do you mean?" I hesitantly ask. 

"My poor, sweet Phoenix," she starts, seemingly upset. "As you know when you were born, your parents were not ready for the responsibility that comes with having a baby. They were young and stupid. It's highly unheard of for werewolves to abandon their children, no packs have orphanages or adoption programs, it's just expected for the parents to want to have kids."

That stung. I was one of the only unwanted werewolves. All parents love and cherish their kids, except me. How could this be anyone's fault but my own? I was just so radically unlovable that I had to be given away to a place of torture and abuse.

Maddox's hand on my leg, quickly brought me out of my pessimistic thoughts as Lisa continued.

"So without any werewolf orphanages, your parents were at a loss. They couldn't leave you at a human orphanage. When you became of age to shift, you would be horrifically confused without any guidance, your adopted parents would be exposed to our world, it just was not an option."

This all made sense, but I wasn't sure what she was getting at. 

"Instead, they left their infant outside the front door of the Royal Pack House. It was a chilly winter morning when a pack member left for a run and ended up face to face with a freezing baby at the front door step. He was horrified that you had frozen to death, but the pack doctor worked diligently to revive your health.'

Even as a baby I was facing life threatening conditions. I must be cursed or have the worst possible luck imaginable.

"Maddox was 4 at the time. He was obsessed with the baby and no one knew why. His father had just assumed that he wanted a younger sibling, but looking back now, it's clear that he somehow knew at such a young age that the 2 of you were somehow connected," Lisa finishes.

It is unheard of for wolves to be able to sense their mates until their first shifts, which occurs typically around 12 years old, give or take. I guess with such royal blood he must have certain abilities other wolves don't have. But one question ate away at me.

"Um," I choked out, but lost the courage to continue. My throat felt dry and constrained. 

Lisa smiled at me, politely urging me on to speak up. Maddox watched on, not trying to interject in the divulging of my past.

"If I was l-left at the Royal pack, how'd I end up at the... Black Raven pack." My voice cracked, I had never spoken the name of my old pack. I was told I wasn't good enough to actually be part of the pack, therefore I wasn't allowed to say the name. I had made that mistake a few times before. Subconsciously I glanced around to make sure no one else had heard me say it. If someone from my old pack heard, it would be certain punishment.

Lisa sighed.

"You stayed here for several months and everyone adored you, you were such a sweet baby. However there were some circumstances at Black Raven. The Luna wanted another child, but no matter how hard they tried for another one, it wouldn't work. She went to their pack doctor where they found out she had a disease affecting her ability to reproduce. The same disease that would later take her life. Anyways, my husband was friends with their Alpha, heavens know why..." She trailed off slightly.

I was also confused about the friendship between Alpha Ryan and the deceased King of werewolves. Why was such a highly regarded wolf so attached to such a sleazy man like Ryan? I didn't interject though, I allowed her to continue, even though I knew where she was going with the story.

"After much debate here in the royal pack, he made the final decision to give you over to them. Maddox was devastated that you were gone, he was enraged at his father for nearly a year, before he forgave him"

It is confirmed then, I really do have the worst luck possible. I was abandoned as a baby, nearly freezing to death, at the Royal pack where my mate found me. I was given over to a pack that was kind to me for a while, until they had an excuse not to be. I re found my mate, but Black Raven made sure to permanently destroy my life with horrific memories that simply could not be erased.

"I'm sorry I let him give you away."