I wake up sore, shocker. My ribs scream out at me, begging for medical attention that will never come. I ignore it as per usual and roll off the mattress I've been so graciously given by my oh so lovely pack, just narrowly avoiding the exposed metal spring sticking out directly next to my face.

I pick up a black t-shirt that advertises a band I've never heard of before, and pull it on over my sports bra, ignoring the flare of pain from my mid-section. A pack member who had outgrown the shirt had thrown it out, and I picked it out of the garbage like the classy lady I am. The previous shirt I sported was ripped beyond repair during one of Alpha's temper tantrums, that I unfortunately was in the center of.

I suppose I should mention, I'm not the most popular amongst my pack. I guess they see me more as their slave, and on my off time their own personal punching bags. 

Don't get me wrong, I was strong enough in the beginning to fight them off, but they simply had the numbers and I eventually submitted being presented no other viable options. 

They all liked me at one point, but in reality I was just a charity case. An orphan without a home. An opportunity for the pack to get in the Royal family's good graces by taking in a poor homeless girl without a family. Eventually I became a burden and once the Alpha expressed disinterest in me, the rest followed like the spineless cowards they are.

I digress. 

I finished getting dressed, putting on black leggings I'd stolen from one of the teen girls. She had so many pairs, she wouldn't notice one of them gone. She's too dumb to make the connection anyways. And finally my black converse, these I had been gifted way back before I was so widely hated, so they're nearly as old as me! Ripped in countless areas and entirely too small, but my only option.

I look in the small mirror off to my side after putting my hair into my signature side braid that really screams "I don't care about my appearance!" How could I? My skin was littered with cuts and bruises my weakened wolf was unable to heal properly, my blue eyes were dull, my dirty blonde hair constantly tangled.

I hated myself. I hate that I let myself stay in this shitty place. I hate that I'm weak and can't help myself. I frown at my reflection before turning towards the door and exiting my closet.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, I leisurely make my way down the stairs, scouting out to make sure no one else was awake at this ungodly hour of 5 AM. I peaked into the kitchen before sighing a breath of relief.

Generally no one was awake this early, but occasionally I'd come down here to a restless sleeper or an early bird who wanted first dibs on hurting me that morning. It really made cooking breakfast for the pack hell when I can't see out of a swollen eye and several bones are broken. Not like any of the lazy fucks in this pack would care, they all expect breakfast ready at 8 AM sharp so they will be ready for training by 10.

I turn on the stove throwing a few pans on top. I had picked up cooking pretty easily, it came as second nature to me. Unluckily for me, I didn't get to eat any of the food I made. Makes sense right?

While I wasn't allowed anything really of my own, there was a speaker in the kitchen that was meant for the pack, but I used regardless. You can take my spirit away but not my music. 

"Alexa, shuffle songs by All Time Low." I commanded the speaker, making sure first the volume was low enough to keep everyone upstairs asleep. Music began playing and I smiled immediately recognizing the song. I quietly sang along, dancing around the kitchen, cracking eggs, stirring batter.

"You said it's all for a reason, well what the fuck is the reason now?" I sang while pouring pancake batter onto the skillet. The song resonated with me, seriously Moon Goddess, what is the reason I'm here, if everything you do is all for a reason, what reason do you have for making my life awful?

Several hours later I had prepared enough food for the 100 something pack members. I threw a stack of paper plates on the table along with plastic utensils, and all of the food in platters. I grabbed a pancake before flipping off the pack who was still asleep and made my way towards the back door.

I hadn't let my wolf June out since well... June. It's September, and I was sick of being forced to stay inside. I have an hour before everyone is meant to be up, just enough time to quiet June who is jumping around inside my head dying to get out.

"Not a long run June" I said aloud.

"I know, I don't want you to be killed. I'd be dragged along with you." June replied in my head.

I rolled my eyes, how generous of her for looking out for me. 

I wasn't scared of being caught. I have faced the worst and I truly believe they won't ever be able to break me. I'll live another day, and another, and another. And perhaps one day I'll find the guts to leave and never look back. I will travel the world alone, and live the life I was denied here.

Maybe I'll find my mate, maybe I won't. I don't rely too heavily on finding him. I've seen entirely too many toxic relationships between mates in this pack to care that much. Abusive mates, cheating mates, I don't want that for me and June, and she knows that. While she hates to admit it she has expressed that she'd rather be mateless than have a scumbag abusive, cheating, liar mate.

I saunter out into the woods behind the pack house and strip off my clothes placing them behind a tree. I clear my mind of my wandering thoughts and begin to focus on only one thing, becoming the fierce and beautiful wolf I am.