Diya (pov)

When did I become this.... when did I become someone so cruel... someone who can plot against others... Probably the very moment when people who I trusted my life with, betrayed me... when the man who my parents chose as my husband.. forced himself on me.... when he pushed me on the bed.. that's when I became this person.. this person who didn't even react on hearing his brutal death....

Nawaab ji killed him for me. He has always been my knight in shining black armour... not a silver one.. just because the idea of him in a shiny silver armour just doesn't make sense. Black is his color... from the very first moment I saw him in the dark forest, wearing a black attire with a black turban... and those black kohled eyes.

I have always believed that he will be the one to protect me from every harmful being on his earth... But I didn't have any hope or faith in my belief when the person, I expect him to fight against, for me is his own first wife.... His childhood friend.

I know that I would lose him when she is the one standing on the opposite end.... And I know that if that ever happens, I will lose myself too.

So I didn't want to take any such steps which would only push him away from me. I am disgusted at myself as my mind flashes images of Fathima crying and begging. I am the one responsible for everything. I risked my life to take revenge on her and Rukhsaar... I risked Asha's life by giving her the task of keeping the poison bottle in Fathima's belongings.

My own thoughts are my enemy... I am not this person. Should I confess the truth to Nawaaz ji? Will he ever forgive me? I don't think so.. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks. What have I become?

"Little Dove" I hear him... his voice so soft..it's the first time I have heard him speak something in this tone. I look up only to see him walking towards my bed. As he is taking steps towards me.. my heartbeat picks up it's pace.

"What have you done Diya!!" he grits his teeth.. oh god does he know??? Why else will he be angry at me?? I don't know if it's the after-effects of consuming poison or his fear.. but I am sweating profusely. "huh? Nawaaz ji.... I--- I" I gulp as he stands next to my bed and looks down at me, his hands grab my arms and push me on the bed... making me lay down.

"I asked you to take rest right? Then why the hell are you sitting?" he sits next to me.. so close to me, his eyebrows furrowed... he looks worried? For me...

"are you worried about me?" my mouth blabbers out my thoughts. His frown deepens... making me fear of his worst response. I don't want to hear a no from him. I did all of this just because I did not want to hear a no from him... I did not want him to side with Rukhsaar, I did not want him to ignore my problems....at least not bluntly on my face. That is why I didn't tell him, how Rukhsaar begum and her Daasi Harassed me. I handled it on my own because I would not have handled his ignorance to my issues.

He gets up and starts walking away..... and my lips curve into a sad smile. I was mistaken I guess.. he wasn't worried. I sigh as I stare at my fingers which are still trembling.

I feel a sudden movement on the bed and look sideways, only to see him laying besides me.. his body turned towards my direction as he takes my hands in his and keeps it under his cheeks on the pillow. "You have no idea my Jaan" his voice is barely audible, that's how low his voice is. Did he just call me 'my jaan'? I am not sure.... But my eyes cannot stop shedding tears. Maybe it was my own mind playing games with my heart.

He nuzzles his cheeks into my trembling hands as if trying to warm them. "You are safe now." He assures me... and that's all the assurance I need. I turn my body to face him. We just stare into each other's eyes.

"What all happened when I was unconscious?" I ask. I lost a week of my life.. in exchange for my revenge. That thought makes me wince. "What? Is something hurting you?" he moves closer and pulls my body gently towards himself. He is touching me as if I might break,if he touches me with his usual strength.

"Why are you smiling?" he frowns at me. Was I smiling? I shake my head. "You didn't answer my question Nawaaz ji" I remind him. He scoffs "First you answer my question. Are you in any kind of pain or discomfort? Should I call the royal doctor?" he caresses my cheeks. Is this really happening? Or am I still unconscious?

" Ok fine.. I will answer your question, Nothing much happened. There that's your answer. Now your turn" he raises his eyebrows. What? What kind of answer Is that? He is trying to act smart with me, but it's ok. I roll my eyes. "I am fine. I just wanted to ask you another question if you will answer me truthfully?" I bite my lips as I am not sure whether I can ask him this or not.

"Go ahead." He says as his thumb slowly releases my lower lips from my bite. I look at his fingers which slowly caress my cheeks and then at him "What will happen to Fathima?" and now I can't meet his eyes.

"hmm... she will be punished for her crime." His fingers slowly slide down to my neck as he turns my face towards him, making me look into his beautiful eyes. "Why do you ask?" his thumb softly rubs on my chin.

"I—will you kill her?" I can't help but ask this.... the answer is as expected. "I will" he sighs as he closes his eyes. I stare at his face, for I don't know how long. I have always known that this is what will happen... I knew this since the time I planned it. But now when I lay here in his arms... on this comfortable mattress.... I regret it.. I regret planning such an evil act of vengeance.

I should tell him the truth, I know I should... I look at him, his hands patting on my head as he lays facing me, with his eyes closed. Maybe tomorrow... I buy myself some time as I move closer in his arms and nuzzle my face on his chest.

"Jaan" I hear a soothing voice.... Nawaaz ji? Is he calling me? I open my eyes, only to see him deep in sleep. I sigh as I keep staring at his devilishly handsome face. Today might be the last chance I get to stare at him like this. "Don't even think of moving from this bed" he mumbles. Did I say out my thoughts?? Or did he read my thoughts??? But his eyes are closed.... Is he talking in his sleep?

"Little dove. I am always aware of my surroundings." He opens his eyes and looks straight at me. I don't know what was that statement intended for... but I am suddenly very scared to look at him in the eyes. Maybe it's my guilt.. maybe it's the fear of getting caught.

I try to back away from his embrace, but he holds me tight, not letting me move an inch. "I don't repeat myself, Little Dove." he warns, making me go still in his arms. "hmm..that's better." He sighs as he hugs me tight. I don't know why but his sweet embraces should make me happy.... But I am feeling terrible. I must tell him the truth.. I must.

He moves back, and gets up from the bed, while I was busy dreading the reality. "Daasi!!!!" he shouts as Asha comes running. Seeing her here, only increases my guilt. Why is he calling her??? Does he know???

I gulp as I look at a scared Asha, as she bows her head to him and me. No matter what, I will save her. I won't let her be punished for my crimes. "Nawaaz ji.." I start to confess but he cuts me off by raising his hand.

"Daasi, help Begum Diya to freshen up, and don't leave her side for even a second. Is that clear?" he commands in his deep voice. I finally release a breath, I was just being apprehensive because of my own guilt.

I see Asha just nodding in relief. I guess I am not the only one who feels guilt- ridden. What have I done.... She is suffering because of me. I am responsible for her fear.

She takes me to the bath and I try to talk to her.. to comfort her, but she signals me not to. "These palace walls have ears Begum Sa... So forget about whatever happened.. it will be better for both of us. She passes a comforting smile, which is not at all working for me. I am still at discomfort but I nod.

I finally feel a bit better after the bath.. and as I enter my room..... I see Nawaaz ji sitting on the Divan. What is he doing here... was he waiting for me?? I still on my track... But he notices me, and he rushes towards me. "Where is the Daasi? I asked her to not leave you for even a second!" he fumes as his arms go around my shouders. I just keep on staring at this man... my husband.

"She went away to call the royal doctor, for my checkup." I smile at his concern. He huffs and makes me sit on the bed. "is she the only Daasi you own?" he asks as he sits beside me. Own?

"I don't own her Nawaab ji.. she is the only one I talk to freely." I defend her. He narrows his eyes at me "Don't you talk freely with me?" is he kidding? I don't know how to answer that. He seems different from the Nawaaz ji I knew before I consumed poison. He seems sooo different. I don't know how to talk to him... I have never experienced such niceness from him or anyone for that matter for the past few months of my life.

"Do you talk freely with me?" I turn the same question towards him. He scoffs with a smirk "Little Dove, That's not how you answer a question. Especially too me" his smirk widens. I can't help but smile at him.

I look down at my bare hands. I have to wear my ornaments. I try to get up but again.. he holds me back and glares at me. "What do you need?" he asks as he get up on my behalf. "I—I need to wear my ornaments." I shrug, expecting him to call a daasi or just ignore me and leave me on my own. But again... he does something very unusual, making me again believe that this is not the man I knew before... but definitely a man who I want to know more.

He brings my ornaments on the bed and starts making me wear it slowly. He does this with full concentration, his eyes not wavering once, his touch so gentle, as if he is handling something fragile and breakable. " I see you also freshened up.. so you came back for me?" I ask with a smile on my face, just thinking about it makes me happy.

"Yes. Your only Daasi, or should I say Confidant is careless, so I have to be more careful about you." his subtle sulky face is too adorable, I wish I could call him cute on his face, not just in my thoughts. I wish..

I guess my all unsaid wishes are finally coming true.. Nawaaz ji doesn't leave my side even for a second, he stayed in my room this whole day... now it's finally night. I guess god wanted to gift me every happiness before punishing me. I stare at him as he pours my medicine in a bowl. I smile sadly as my eyes shed warm tears. I am betraying him... I am keeping him in dark.

"Drink this Little Dove.... Why are you crying?? Are you in pain Diya??" he rushes towards me, as he sees my crying face. His concern just makes me sob harder. He moves closer to me and wipes away my tears.

"shhhh what happened Little dove, Tell me" his voice is so soft, so soothing.... But I can't control these damn tears. I am finally going to confess... and I already know, it's all ruined.

"I—I want to tell you something." I stutter through my tears. he just keeps on staring at me waiting for whatever I am trying to say. "I--- Fathima is not the one who--- who poisoned the food" I say between my sobs. His hands which were caressing my cheeks, still their movement... and that just makes me weep more.

"it's--- it's not her.. It was me Nawaaz ji! I was the one who poisoned the food made by my own hands... I was the one who poured the poison with my own hands—I am the culprit!!" I scream as I cry uncontrollably.

He doesn't respond, nor does he take his hands away from my cheeks. He just stares at me blankly for a long minute. The truth must have shook him so deeply... he just started trusting me, just started to care for me, I guess all that came after this poisonous incident. But I ruined it all... I played with his emotions. I deserve nothing but death for my crimes.

I look up at him, with my teary eyes... All prepared to hear my punishment.

"I knew it Little Dove. You poisoned the food, that you yourself prepared for me. I know" he smirks as he wipes away my tears slowly with his thumb.

Me wearing my armour and earplugs, and getting ready to recieve all your gaalis and chappals.

Ok, I wanted to upload 2 chapters together as it's already so late, but since everyone has been requesting a chapter for so long, and the 2nd chapter is still not done, so i will update it later. Ok the reason behind the delay is me being super busy. I just shifted to another city, for studies so that's a major reason.

But i hope you love this chapter, even if you hate me for the longgg wait. hehe. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and Please VOTE! and write down your precious views and reviews on the chapter, in the COMMENT section. Kisses from Nawaaz and Diya to all you pretty peeps! ;*