Past

My body swayed with the music as I closed my eyes. The only things I cared about were the feeling of ecstasy the music gave me, how my hands were tingling from the drugs and that my back didn't hurt.

As I opened my eyes again, I let out a slow breath, still swaying with the music.

The heat of the room was making me sweat, but I didn't mind. Right now I was just blowing off steam, celebrating another successful heist and enjoying the few days I had off because of it. I came here every time I finished a job. The energy in the room was always right, the alcohol expensive and potent, the drugs designer and easy to access.

Everyone always dressed in expensive clothes, diamonds and gold the choice of jewellery for every person I could see. I wore a red silk slip dress with gold necklaces, bracelets, and heels. Fitting into the room was important for getting information. People are more likely to approach you if you fit in, but I wasn't looking for leads tonight.

I had few choices for what I was looking for because it was the same faces as always. Either I knew what they could do, and it was severely disappointing, or I had no interest in finding out.

So, when I spotted fresh blood, I was immediately interested, their blue-green irises bright under the lights as they focused on me. I moved from the centre of the dance floor to him, standing against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing Armani, a suit missing the black jacket to match the slimline trousers. I wasn't too focused on that; I was distracted by how his shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing off his muscular forearms.

"Haven't seen you around here before." I said as a way of greeting, tilting my head to the side as I kept looking into his eyes.

"Haven't been here before." His body was just a smidge too stiff to be anything less than a bodyguard.

"You here with anyone?" I jumped straight to the point. He smiled, and it was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen.

"You don't fuck around, do you?" He took his weight off of the wall and moved his hands to sit in his pant pockets.

"Depends on the context. I know you've been watching me for a while, which means you aren't here with anyone or you are and aren't that into them." I said, watching his body language relax around me, and his eyes never leave me. "The way you haven't looked away from me implies you aren't here with anyone, because I have your utter focus..." I trailed off, trailing my fingers along his forearm.

"I'm not the only one focused on you..." He trailed off, so I looked around the room. I wasn't surprised to see he was correct.

"But you're the only one I'm talking to. You can have my focus. All you need to do is ask." I said, as he kept smiling. He must know how killer it was. And that the way he looked at me would make anyone weak in the knees. "I have a room at the hotel below this club." With the club being as expensive as it was, it was near the top of an upmarket hotel, just below the penthouse. He seemed hesitant, so I moved away from him.

"Tell me if you don't want to." The words prompted him to close the distance between us, staring into my eyes that were just below his own as he took hold of my wrist.

"It would be a lie. I just thought we were moving fast, but if you know what you want..." He said, so I put a hand on the back of his neck.

"I know what I want. What's your name?" I asked, making sure his eyes didn't leave mine.

"Esmond."

"I want you, Esmond. Do you want me?"

He kissed me. It was harsh and desperate, but that was exactly what I needed. When he pulled away, I took hold of his hand and led him to the elevator, hitting the floor number my room was on. I stood in front of him, his lips on my neck as the elevator descended. My arm reaching behind me to hold his neck.

My eyes closed, feeling his body against my back...

The doors opened, and I took us down the hallway, pulling the key card out of my bra. He walked in as I opened the door, and I gently closed it. I took a deep breath and turned around, seeing him putting a handgun onto the small table underneath the TV.

Fuck, I hadn't even noticed the gun. Why does he need a gun? No. Right now, I don't care.

I walked slowly towards him, and he turned towards me. Before I let him kiss me again, I ran my hands over his chest and then untucked his shirt. If his forearms were that strong, I had to see the rest of him. I felt his fingers brushing up and down my arms as I undid his shirt; the touch sent shivers down my spine.

I had missed being touched.

After I finished his shirt, I pushed it open. Fuck, he was sculptured by the gods. My fingers brushed over every muscle, pushing his shirt down his arms and letting it fall to the floor. I then moved for his belt, but he stopped me.

"Is there anything you want before that?" The words made me freeze. He was the first one-night stand to ask me what I wanted. It caught me off guard so badly that I gave the most pitiful response before I could stop myself.

"I'll take anything..." His eyebrows furrowed for a moment before he kissed my neck again. I let my breathing stagger, moaned as his hands ran up my back and down my sides.

He pushed the straps of the slip dress off my shoulders. It fell to the ground instantly. His hands kept roaming over my body, the feeling of his skin against mine was making my core burn, before he touched my back again and froze. My scars. My scars from the surgery seven years ago. They were still thick and ugly, but I had accepted them. When I didn't say anything his hands began moving again, realising I didn't want to talk about it. So instead, he took my bra off, his fingers brushing against my ribs and making me moan again.

He walked me backwards to the bed and laid me down on it, then taking my panties off. His hands kept roaming over my body, and my thighs rubbed against one another to create some sort of friction.

"Does your back affect anything?" He asked me, lying on his side, pressed against me. His eyes watching mine.

"My feeling below the injury isn't as good as it was..." I was unsure why he asked, and even more unsure on why I answered.

"So can you feel this?" He asked as he ran his hand down my stomach and grabbed my hip bone. I was already wet, but how he touched me, how he kept watching me...

"Yes." His fingers began moving again. He used his hand to push apart my thighs and immediately moved his fingers to my clit. My back immediately arched, a sigh leaving my lips as my eyes fluttered closed.

"Do you feel that?"

"Yes." I said, opening my eyes to look at him as his finger rubbed circles on my clit. Fuck, I wouldn't last much longer like this. I moaned as he slowly sped up.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes." I said again, my hands gripping the sheets.

"Tell me when to stop speeding up." He instructed.

"There... don't stop..." I said as I felt myself drip for him. He kept the same pace. Kept staring into my eyes as he kept circling my clit. I had to close my eyes as my back arched again, my head pushing into the mattress as my world shattered and I screamed my release.

"Are you okay to keep going?" He asked next, waiting for my response as he stopped moving against me.

"Yes." His hand left my body as I heard him take his pants off. He rubbed my clit again as he climbed on top of me. I felt him getting himself ready and he paused. "Fuck me, Esmond."

He did as he was told, pushing himself into me and thrusting at a punishingly slow pace. I opened my eyes to meet his as he stared down at me.

"Put your hand around my throat." He did so, putting just enough weight to enhance every feeling in my body. I whimpered as he sped up his pace, and I dug my nails into his back when he found the perfect speed, a signal he understood.

My nails dragged down his back. I moaned as my core tightened again and he drew me closer to release. I kept looking into his eyes as he tightened his grip on my neck just slightly, and my entire body shuddered as I came again. I felt his body shake as he came with me.

He collapsed next to me, and I immediately ran to the bathroom to get away from him.

What I had just experienced hadn't been sex. The connection I had felt, staring into his eyes, was more than that.

I looked at myself in the mirror and decided then that I would leave before he woke in the morning.

That I couldn't risk giving him my name or it might make this entire night real.