"Reach your hands above your head and relax your ribs" the photographer yells out to me

I am currently doing a quick poolside photoshoot for a bathing suit brand that I decided to collaborate with.

By quick I mean two and a half hour, or until the sunset fades.

The company was kind enough to temporarily rent out a villa for the day so that my photographer and I could take photos.

They offered to take the photos for me, but I politely declined.

My personal photographer knows all of my flattering angles.

She is my best friend after all.

Beatrice Manning, or 'Bea' for short.

She and I have been best friends basically all of our lives.

She was with me before I blew up on YouTube and here she is after where I am labeled 'the most popular singer in the world'.

I actually laugh when I hear people use this sentence to describe me because I consider it far from true.

Am I an artist that is streamed worldwide?

Yes.

But that doesn't mean that I am 'the most popular singer in the world'.

In fact I know a few singers who get more streams than I do.

Anyways, moving on...

This collaboration is mainly bikinis, but I convinced them to add in a handful of intricate looking one pieces.

I am not the biggest fan of having my body on display due to...personal reasons.

I quickly move my feet into an elegant looking pose, careful not to fall into the chlorinated pool water, as I raise my hands above my head.

I allow her to take a few photos of me in this position before relaxing and bringing my hands closer towards each other.

This goes on for about a minute.

Me making slight alterations to the pose that she gave me while she snaps multiple quick shots of me.

I only stop when she brings the camera down towards her stomach and seemingly looks through the photos.

A sigh of relief exits my lips as I finally relax my arms.

"Are we done?" I ask her as she continues to click through the photos

The blue haired girl hums as she begins making her way towards me, her eyes never leaving her camera's screen.

It does not take her long to reach me.

As she approaches me I notice an unsatisfied look on her slim face.

Ouch.

Do I really look that bad in a bikini?

My arms instinctively wrap themselves around my exposed stomach, suddenly feeling severely overexposed.

"I think so, yeah," she answers with an unsure tone of voice

"The ones that we got out here came out better than amazing, but the ones that we got inside look dull and boring," she voices her thoughts

I nod my head at this.

The lighting inside of the house was a lot dimmer than it is out here.

Considering the fact that we arrived here and began taking photos inside of the house before golden hour even began, I would like to say that most likely had something to do with it.

"Should I only send Nicole the photos that we took out here?" I ask, trying to get a better understanding of how bad the pictures are

I prefer not to look at pictures of myself unless I am feeling particularly confident that day, which is rare.

If I look at a 'good' or 'flattering' photograph of myself the only thing I will be able to see is how bloated I look in the photo, or how weird something looks on me.

Basically, it's better for me mentally if I just refrain from looking at photos of myself.

Thankfully, Bea understands this.

"Yeah, I think that she would like them because they already match the brand's Instagram feed" Bea says as she glances up to meet my eyes

At this moment a light breeze decides to graze past us.

My best friend notices that I am covering my body as best as I can and immediately perks up at this, thinking that I am cold.

"Sorry, you're probably freezing right now" she says as she hands me my white crotchet bathing suit coverup

Funnily enough this is by the same brand that I am doing this bathing suit collaboration with.

I remove my arms from my body so that I can retrieve the coverup from her outstretched hand.

"No, it's fine" I assure her with a small smile

I slip the cover up on before tightening it around my body, crossing my arms.

The blue haired girl goes to comment on this only to be cut off by her stomach producing a loud growl.

I raise an amused eyebrow at this.

"Please tell me that there's a sandwich shop near here, I need a footlong sub" she groans out as she makes her way towards the opened glass door

I follow my best friend, an amused laugh bubbling up my throat.

"I think that we passed a Subway a few miles down the hill" I try to make her feel better

She nods her.

"I seriously hope that you're right" Bea sighs

The two of us enter the mansion and I am the one to carefully close the glass door behind our bodies.

Bea and I waste no time as we pack up our things and exit the property.

I quickly pull on a pair of ripped denim shorts and a large oversized hoodie all the while Bea places her camera back inside of its case along with the lens cap.

I'll just change out of my bathing suit when I get home.

I mean- it's not like I got into the pool.

Too much chlorine.

Just as we reach the front door with our bags in hand we quickly slide our shoes back on.

Bea slides on her vans while I slide on my converse.

I would have brought my vans so that we could match but I didn't want to ruin them in case I did end up getting in the pool.

"Did you bring your disguise?" She asks me as we make our way towards my G-Wagen

I take a moment to think over her question.

Hmm.

I brought my sunglasses, but I forgot my baseball cap.

Eh, it's fine.

The sun is going down, plus I seriously doubt that the paparazzi would be waiting outside of a Subway.

"I forgot my hat, but it's fine," I assure her

The two of us begin to descend the stone steps that lead towards my truck.

"I'm probably not going to get out of the car anyway" I shrug

The blue haired girl is silent for a few moments as we continue to descend the large staircase.

She only chooses to speak up again once we reach my truck.

"You haven't eaten all day," she realizes

I feel my body tense up at this.

'Shit, she's onto us'

I avoid eye contact with Bea as I unlock the truck and climb up into the large vehicle.

"I can share half of my sandwich with you-" she begins to offer

'Don't take her up on her offer,' the voice inside of my head hisses as my best friend climbs into the passenger seat

'Nicole definitely would not rep you anymore if she found out that you gained weight,'

'She barely wanted to rep you a year ago when you were fifty pounds heavier,'

'You can trust me, I wouldn't lie to you' the voice states

"No!" I cut her off rather rudely

My friend is shocked by this considering how wide her eyes are staring at me.

Shit.

"Uhm-" I try to think of a believable excuse

"I'm really tired," I give her a small smile

"I barely slept last night" I elaborate

My best friend releases a breath of relief at this explanation.

"You do know that it would've taken way less time if you would have just said that you and Sean were up all night getting it on" she assumes with a perverted smirk

I do not react to her assumption as I throw my backpack into the backseat, Bea following after me.

I do not have the heart to correct her considering that it is a pretty good coverup.

In all honesty Sean and I haven't had sex with each other in... about three weeks?

It is not that I haven't been horny, it's just not pleasurable.

The sex is pretty vanilla and boring.

All he wants to do is missionary all of the time!

On top of that he is absolutely clueless when it comes to woman's bodies.

He can never find my gspot, yet the one time that he did he completely ruined the sensation when he practically tried to set my clit on fire!

Just because I tell you that 'I'm close' does not mean that you speed up your pace, keep the same tempo!

I have sat him down multiple times and voiced my concerns to him, I even offered him pointers!

Alas he either did not listen or completely forgot by the next time we had intercourse.

I have put up with this for around two years now, but it has gotten to the point where the sex makes me so miserable and stressed out that I have to avoid him for days after it happens.

I honestly do not know what else to do.

"Subway!" My best friend yells out

This yell knocks me out of my overcrowded mind.

Thank goodness she said something or I would have passed by it.

I carefully pull up in front of the restaurant, parallel parking along the curb.

"Are you sure that you want to stay in here?" She asks me

I nod my head with assurance, giving her a small smile.

The blue haired girl gives me a suspicious look, but inevitably drops it when her stomach growls again.

"Go, I'll wait here for you" I smile

She nods her head without a second thought before swinging open her car door and hopping down from my truck.

My best friend closes the door behind her body and practically runs towards the fast food place, desperate for a sandwich.

I chuckle at this.

She looks like a flailing chicken when she runs and I love her even more for it.

Just as I begin to calm down the name 'Nicole' flashes across my cellphone screen.

I pick up said cellular device and click on the green button.

"Hello?" I answer as I bring the phone up to my ear

"Did you take the photos? I need to send them in an hour" the woman stresses

I mentally sigh at her tone.

She sounds annoyed, but also impatient.

"We just finished up, I'll get them to you on time" I assure her

The older woman sighs at my response before going silent for a few seconds.

"Okay," she replies, seemingly over it

"Just email them to me" she tells me

I hum, feeling a bit confused as to why she is so stressed.

I thought that we had until tomorrow to send the swimwear pictures in.

"Oh! One last thing," I cut in before she hangs up

"What time is the meeting tomorrow?" I ask since I forgot to put it down in my calendar

Nicole is silent for a few seconds, the sound of paper flipping meeting my ear.

"Ten thirty in the morning" she kindly informs me

I nod my head even though she cannot see me.

I go to thank her only for her to drop the call.

Oh... okay.

-

I smoothly roll into my driveway, parking a few feet away from Bea's car.

The two of us silently climb out of my truck, not wanting to disrupt anyone in the complex.

We take no time at all to make our way around my truck.

It is only when I go to walk up to my front door that the blue haired girl stops me from doing so, resting her hand on my bicep.

I furrow my eyebrows with obvious confusion, but turn my body around to face her nonetheless.

"I know that you said you weren't hungry," she starts off

My body immediately freezes at this.

Seriously?

I told her not to get me anything.

"But I got you something anyway," she releases her hold on my clothes bicep before bringing her bag in between our bodies

I watch her as she sticks her hand in the plastic bag, retrieving a neatly wrapped, half foot long sandwich.

She holds the sandwich out to me with a small smile.

I do not move from my spot as I continue to stare at my friend in shock.

"Bea- I-" I go to decline her offer

"You don't have to eat it now, you can save it for later" she suggests

I hesitate at this suggestion.

Do not get me wrong, of course I want the sandwich!

I love Subway sandwiches!

But I can't eat it.

They won't let me.

"It's your favorite" she attempts to persuade

I glance up from the sandwich into Bea's eyes only to immediately regret it.

The blue haired girl is giving me a kind smile, her eyes staring at me with anticipation.

'Don't you dare take that wax paper wrapped log of fat' the voice hisses

If I don't take it then she will ask questions.

I guess that I stare at her for an uncomfortably long period of time judging by the way that her eyes begin to eye me with evident confusion.

An awkward laugh slips past my lips before I get the chance to stop it.

"Thanks" I say as I grab the sandwich out of her hand with hesitation

I feel bad for wasting her money.

This is why I did not want her to buy me anything.

The blue haired girl smiles at this action from me.

"I'll send you the photos as soon as I get home" she informs me

The two of us say our goodbyes before I make my way towards my front and Bea makes her way towards her car.

I wait until I reach the front door to my apartment to bring my key up to the corresponding keyhole.

It takes me no time at all to unlock said door, twisting the knob and pushing it open once I do so.

I place my keys on the wooden table near the door before closing the large door behind me.

Hmm.

It is oddly quiet in here.

"Sean?" I call out as I lock the door behind my body

"Kitchen!" I immediately hear him call out

I cannot help but furrow my eyebrows at this as I make my way towards the overlit kitchen.

Why is he hanging out in the kitchen of all places?

Once I reach my destination the first thing my eyes land on is my boyfriend's very muscular, bare back.

Wow.

That is quite the sight.

"What are you doing?" I ask him with genuine curiosity

Before he gets a chance to answer I am making my way towards the shirtless man.

I stroll past one of the kitchen counters and into said kitchen.

My boyfriend, most likely sensing my presence, carefully spins around in his spot.

I stop a few feet in front of him as soon as I notice something in his large hands.

"Alfredo?" I ask as my eyes connect with the sauce covered noodles

He gives me a sweet smile as he places the hot pan down on the countertop behind his body.

"Yeah, we haven't had it in awhile" he attempts to shrug nonchalantly

A small smile breaks out onto my face.

"Since our first date" my smile only widens as I remember that night

The blonde haired man turns to face me again, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his grey sweatpants.

"I thought that it'd be a nice surprise," he elaborates

I continue to stare up at his well sculpted face with awe.

"We haven't seen each other in a few days and I know how much you love Alfredo" he nervously mutters underneath his breath

I take a few steps forward so that I am now standing a few inches in front of the nervous boy.

My lips sought out his.

I gently press my lips against his slightly dryer ones.

"I actually like nachos more, but I appreciate the effort" I chuckle as soon as I pull away

The blonde groans at this with obvious pain.

"I'm sorry, I could have sworn-" he begins to apologize

I cut him off before he gets the chance to finish his sentence.

"Don't worry about it," I assure him

A silence falls over the two of us.

At this sudden silence I awkwardly glance down at my feet, the sandwich in my hands obstructing my view.

Well, there is no need to let this perfect sandwich go to waste.

"I actually got this for you" I hand him the beautifully wrapped sandwich

A grateful smile breaks out onto his face.

"Thanks baby" he says with a genuine tone

I allow him to remove the sandwich from my outstretched hand, taking it into his own.

I stay silent and choose to give him a small smile, feeling a wave of sickness wash over me.

"I think that I'm just going to go to sleep" I tell him

I notice the blonde's face contort with confusion.

I do not give him the chance to ask any further questions as I turn around on my heels and make my way towards the bedroom.

As soon as I am safely within the confines of our bedroom my smile falls off my face almost instantaneously.

Lately, I feel like all of my smile have been fake.

I guess that is a side effect of this type of lifestyle.