《Bastard》BASTARD: chapter three
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The house was silent. Seeing as it was almost midnight, I didn't expect anything less. Gray and Quinn put Layne to bed at eight and they had fallen asleep by ten leaving only me awake.
I should've been asleep by now, but I couldn't fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes memories of the laboratory flooded my brain. No matter how hard I tried to forget about the place, I couldn't erase it from my mind. It was part of me now and I'd never be able to forget it. In some ways, I envied Gaius' mate because of that. While he got to forget everything, even if it was temporary, I had to remember everything.
Another thing to blame Dad for. If he wasn't an alpha, my memory would've been wiped clear.
Gray had suggested therapy, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't want to sit in a room with a stranger and tell them my life story so they could silently judge me. There was no reason for that, talking to Gray would have the same effect without having to pay.
My inability to sleep was part of the reason why I was always leaving the house at night. Being in this house allowed my thoughts to run wild, it was like they were all crammed into this room and were trying to suffocate me. At least when I was out of the house, it wasn't so bad. It felt like I could breathe.
I knew Gray had to understand to some extent. He used to sneak out all the time when we were younger.
Walking through the usually loud pack helped regulate my thoughts. It helped take my mind off everything happening around me. It provided temporary freedom that I desperately needed. When the sun came back up, it was gone and the pack returned to the prison I was all too familiar with.
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As I sit up on the bed, I quickly stretch before standing, putting on some shoes, and making my way to the door. I push it open before I quietly make my way downstairs and towards the front door. I knew Gray would have a problem with me leaving, but I couldn't stay cooped up anymore. I needed an escape, even if it was a temporary one.
"Where are you going?" A quiet voice asks from behind me.
Turning around, I see Layne standing there as she rubbed her eyes and stared at me. I am mentally grown. She was going to make leaving much harder.
"Go back to your room," I tell her with a slight glare, hoping to scare her back up the stairs.
Instead, she tilts her head to the side and continues to stare at me. This was probably the longest she had managed to do so.
"Layne, go back to your room," I tell her again, in a more stern voice.
She frowns at me before she turns back towards the stairs. I see her make her way up the first few before I unlock the door and walk out.
The cool air hits me in the face and a shiver runs through my body. At times like this, I missed my wolf abilities. I force myself to ignore the coldness and continue walking. There was no particular place I was going to, I was just walking around aimlessly.
There were almost no lights on. That was one of the things I enjoyed the most. Nobody was around to judge me or glare at me. I was simply alone in the dark.
As I walked through the pack lands, I tried to spot places that I remembered. The pack had changed a lot over the years, but there were still some similarities. One is the training grounds. I remember spending a lot of my time there, even before I managed to shift. Dad started training us when we turned six, he wanted us to be able to fight in both our wolf form and human forms.
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Mom was against him starting so early, but after a long "debate" over it, Dad finally got his way. My guess is he probably yelled at her until she gave in.
If there was one thing I missed about the pack, it was Mom. Even if she wasn't my birth mother, she tried to treat me like her own even if it hurt her. A lot of changes within the pack were started by Mom, Gray just continued her legacy.
When I was at the lab, she was one of the people I thought about the most. When I found out Dad was dead, I didn't care. Every memory I had of Dad was just as bad as the lab— if not, worse. But when Gray mentioned that Mom had died too, it only added to my need to escape. Mom was the only one who tried to treat me like I wasn't some mistake.
Now she was gone.
Before I realize it, I'm within the woods of the pack. A frown forms on my face, I never came out this far on my walks. Part of the reason was because of the warriors on patrol— they'd be sure to tell Gray if they saw me. Hell, they'd probably escort me to him personally.
Another reason was rogues. Even if I didn't want to admit it, Gray was right in a way. I couldn't shift and I couldn't use the pack link. If a rogue came, I was pretty much on my own until the warriors caught its scent.
If I managed to make it all the way over here, I'd probably been gone for a while. I guess it's time to return to the house before Gray blows a fuse.
I turn around to head back to the pack but stop when I see blue eyes and a small figure staring at me.
"Layne!" I scowl. "What the fuck are you doing out here?!"
The four-year-old flinches at my words but says nothing. How did she even manage to get out of the house? She was on her way upstairs when I left out the front door.
The door.
I forgot to lock the fucking door.
Layne opens her mouth to say something to me as I approach her, but a growl has her mouth snapping shut and her eyes widening. I turn around and sure enough, standing in front of us is a rogue.
But not a regular rogue, either. Its red eyes shine as it stares at us like we're dinner.
I can feel Layne clutching my leg and a whimper escapes her when the rogue growls again. I tense up and my eyes dart between the rogue, Layne, and the way back to the house.
Of all the nights I decide to go out, I end up with a four-year-old and run into a feral rogue.
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