Oh my gosh , I thought it is easy the way the internet told me. She's sitting near our pavement. What should I do? ask her name and etc.Talk to her like you know her even I didn't have friends like her. Will she ditch me? I guess not. Will she think Im weird? I guess so.

I can feel the cold bead liquid that is running through my cheeks. My pulse, so hard. My blush is so noticeable.

One step, and another one. Yeah I can reach her, then another and another and another until I reach her. I can smell her fragrance because of the air smashing to my face.

"H-hi." I tried to smile. I hide my trembling hands behind my back.

"Hello. she smiled back.

"My name is Julian, Julian Mitchell. Your neighbor". I added.

"Ahh sorry I didn't notice you. My name is Chloe Slanders. We just move here. Were from Texas to here Canada to change lifestyle. Btw would you like to sit here Julian ?"

I sat beside her. So near that her hair is smashing through my face. I can taste her hair. Strawberry. Yuck. Tasted shampoo. but her hair is silky like the silky mane of the horse. Joke.

Her perfume is also cheap like mine. She also smells dog because she has a dog, obviously. She only wore slippers and her toe nails is nearly vanished.

"How old are you Julian? " she asked me.

"Im fifteen, how about you?"

"Same!" she said like it was a big coincidence.

"How come I didn't notice you?" she asked

How can I answer this? I thought.

"Because I didn't feel going outside." And I looked away.

"Can I get your number?" she asked.

09.............. and so on.

We sat there chatting and chatting "personally " not using cellular phone. Until the sun goes down.

I feel so free. I can break the rules. I can go out and meet her there again. I can play and chat and chat with her without my parents knowing it.

**

"How is your day my child?." Mom said. She was cooking our dinner. I can smell her cooked spicy enchillidas.

"Fine mom, " I said with a smile.

"Your dad is in the hospital, do you want to see him?" I stopped. I looked to mom and she had her face blank. I just shooked my head. She knew what I've been through.

"No mom, I don't want to. I'm tired, I need to rest."

"Hey! Do you want to eat or not?"

"Nope!"

I ran into the staircase as fast as i could so my mom couldn't see my weeping face. Ican't stand seeing my father in pain. I don't want to see him like that with my little sister. it is so traumatic.

When Dad knew my body and cells will decide what I'll be in the future, boy or girl, my dad started to disowned me. My mom always fight for me. My dad just acknowledged Jillian, my sister. My dad really wants a girl not a boy. So every attention of him goes to my sister. First, I felt hatred towards them but now, only to father.

Our hometown knows about me. Paparazzi's, camera's, people staring at me like I grow another head. I, just stare at them. For six years old, I was traumatized. People just moving away from me like I have a virus.

Even in school.

I only watched children play in the swing. I don't really enjoy my childhood years. I just watched them.

Suddenly, a ball rolled towards me. I slowly reached for it and handed them the ball. The look in their eyes were afraid and some parents appeared from nothing.

"Don't touch my daughter! You monster!" The ball slipped in my hands as I shook my head.

I'm not a monster.

I just want to play.

I'm not a monster...

"Monster!" The other kid throwed me a rock which caused my head to have a large gash in my forehead. In which it is visible even now. I deserved it.

When my mom knew about it, she talked to father.

"What do you want to do?! Celestine! I am busy. Just let that child wander off to streets and everything will be fine!" I was listening to the couch. I sob quietly.

Slap.

A big, smack sound erupted from them as the two started throwing things.

Dad.

"That's your daughter! How dare you could say that to our child!"

And after that, dad just collapsed to the floor. He was to be said by doctors that he had a hypertension. He was admitted to the hospital and by saving, we moved t the other village called East which I lived now.

***

I wake up with my daily morning glory stuff in my eye. Sunshine is creeping in my windows. Ican hear the laughter outside and I stand upo so quickly and I saw her again. Isaw her playing again with her lovely dog. She's laughing like there's no tomorrow. Bet she smelled like yesterday. I hope that she wants to see me again.

I hurried to my bathroom, check myself, brush my hair and ooppss, I almost forgot. AAHHHHHH, mmm smell trashy better need brushing. I brushed my mouth as fast as I could. My adrenaline is rushing like I am going to win a game.

We played, chat and dance better than yesterday. She didn't even hesitate to play with me. I think my affection is growing stronger day by day I'm with her.

She run past me. She run so gracefully until she tripped in one rock and we fell into each other. Our faces are inches apart. Or even centimeters. I feel the urge to kiss her but I'm wrong.