Edited√√

***

I was born with two identities,

both man and woman.

I had a genitals of a man and woman.

I had a hard time of making friends because they thought that I was alien.

I had only one friend

.....

and she became my world.

~~~

"Why don't you talk to her?" my little sister asked, snapped me backed to the reality. By the way, her name is Jillian.

"I can't. You know my condition didnt you?" I said. No way in this world I will be normal. I can't. I know I can't. I didn't deserve to be free like a bird. I deserved to be like a bird, caged.

"Yes I know that, but it doesn't mean that you'll stop being normal." Jillian said. Symphaty flows through her face. I shook my head, dissaproving.

"You're only ten to understand my situation." I said to her as I brush her hair slowly.

"How come this happen?" My dad shook his head while my mom just quietly sobs behind dad while I just looking at them. I sat across them while the doctor keep blabbering about something I just couldn't understand. I was only five at the moment.

We were at the hospital. I was here for two days. The doctors were examining me and taking pictures of me. Many people watching me and jotting down all notes about me.

Injections.

Camera's

More computers...

And sick foods..

I don't want here...

I tugged the hem of my father's shirt. "Dad, can we go home?" I backed away to see my dad was glaring at me. My dad hiss to mom as she went to me and carried me to her back. We leave the hospital and went to our car.

"Dad! I'm glad that I am not going to---" I said it cheerily but dad cut me off.

"Shut up. Don't talk. You're a dissapointment!" I sinked back to my seat as dad started the engine. Mom just argued to dad and I cried soflty.

'Dad? Why? Why are you angry to me?' I thought.

I thought this everyday.

Everyday, I just do all the things that I could make him happy. I just do and help him all through the day, make him a coffee but he just spits it to my face, handing him his handkerchief ending to be thrown to ground and lastly, I tried to iron his clothes ending it to be burn.

And after that everyday, I hoped but,

I think I just have to give up. Dad don't love me anymore. He just want a girl baby but to me, I was just a big dissapointment. I was a monster. I was forbidden now to go outside. Forbidden to talk to other people than to my family. Forbidden to go to school. Forbidden to everything.

Now, hatred to dad is only what I have got to him.

Hatred.

We sat for a long time watching the girl in our neighborhood. She's playing with her dog. She has a golden hair like her dog. "What do it feels if I touch her hair?" I quickly removed that thought. "I'm crazy". I sneaked again for the last time and hurried to my sister.

"Hey Jillian, can you cut my hair?" I asked. I have decided. Today is my day.

"Yes sure!! how short?" she asked me as I demonstrated what I want, a pixie cut that would be great.

As she cut my hair the way I wanted it to be, is a huge success.

I looked back to my full body mirror and saw myself, I can be a boy. I can court her, maybe I can join her, myabe I can love a girl I want. I can dress like a man and talk to her.

I could be human. With normal life.