Cody still isn't picking Gerard up in the morning. When he gets me, we pass Gerard's driveway and it's empty. From what he's mentioned, his mom goes to work and his dad drops him off at school earlier so he has time to get around and ready. We don't hang out in the morning anymore at his house. It's just too hard for him. I can understand that. He has to get used to a leg brace and still use crutches. I'm hoping with time, maybe things adjust and I will be able to see him in the mornings. If not, I get it.

It's weird in the morning drive. It's only Cody, Jenna, and me. The ride was a lot fuller and it sucks after nearly... A month? Has it been a month already since it happened? No, not yet but almost. I hate that. Time keeps going on for better or worse.

"I'm so glad it's Friday," Jenna says. She and Cody have been talking but I zoned out for a moment.

"I can't believe it's spring break tomorrow," Cody says. "Ugh, and then finals."

"Yeah, but then we're seniors," she says.

"That. That does not feel right." He parks and we head out. "We're going to be picking our senior schedules soon too. Man, this is so weird." We part ways as I check into study hall then head back down to art. The others have some projects they're working on already set up and they're talking. Gerard isn't here yet. In the last few days, he's been the first one here since he gets dropped off early.

"Hey, where's Gerard?" I ask as I take my seat.

"We're not sure," Jenna says, looking around.

"I swear, I saw him in the hallway this morning," Lynn says. "Like he was further away but I know I saw him."

"You think he's at the office getting something?" Cody asks.

"I have no idea," I say. I open my backpack. "Um, real quick, did we have English homework."

"No, there was a sub yesterday," Lynn says. Oh, yeah. I think I actually have no homework. Spring break will be nice then.

The bell rings and we all look at the door. Gerard isn't here. "That's weird, where is he?" I ask.

"Are you sure you saw him?" Cody says. Lynn nods. Ms. Gina walks passed and Cody gets her attention. "Did Gerard step out of the room?" he asks.

Ms. Gina pauses. "I'm not supposed to say," her voice is low, "however, you all are his friends. Gerard's not in this class anymore."

"What?" Jenna asks.

"What-what do you mean by that?" Cody asks.

Ms. Gina presses her lips together. "I'm sorry. The office made the change today. He's in Mr. Larson's class now. Perhaps ask him about it more because I can't say." She gives a sympathetic smile then heads back to the paper cutters where she was working.

There's a quiet around the table as we all glance at Gerard's empty seat. He's really not coming back? "Who's Mr. Larson?" I ask, breaking the silence.

Lynn looks at me. "He's another art teacher. He's Gerard's ceramics class."

"Yeah, but ceramics isn't 1st hour," Jenna says.

Lynn thinks for a moment. "No, but he also teaches the computer art classes. And I think he has one 1st hour."

"That sucks," Cody whispers.

"Does Gerard like computer art?" I ask.

The others are quiet. "I don't think so," Jenna says. "Well, I don't know. He's more of a paper guy, he likes using his hands. But that's. Not possible anymore."

"Maybe the computer will be easier for him," I say.

Lynn makes a face. "I don't know. I've taken that class and it's very different. It's not something you can just pick up and go. There's a lot of tedious technical learning. You can do the coolest things but it takes a while to not only learn it but also get the hang of it."

"That seriously sucks," Cody says shaking his head. "We'll see him at lunch, he can talk about it then."

I'm lucky I don't have to wait until lunch. I make it up to history at 3rd hour and I see he's already there. He's getting faster now. "Hey, you," Gerard says, seeing me.

"Hey, so you are here after all," I say, making my way to my seat. "Missed you in first hour."

He nods. There's hardly a shift in his face. "Yeah, I have a new schedule. Gym is now an actual study hall classroom. And I don't have art with Ms. Gina anymore." I don't say anything. I stay quiet and wait for him to keep talking. "My hands. They can't stop shaking and I'm never going to be a lefty. I was told that the computer might be able to help with my disability. But I'm slowly not seeing the point."

"But you are so good at art. You can't tell me you're giving up," I say.

"So what if I am?" he says. "We're going to have to start thinking about college soon and I can't hope to get into any art school anymore when I can't even write my name neatly."

"Aren't you upset?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I know I should be," he says. "But this is honestly the least of my problems. Just one more thing going wrong."

"Well, spring break starts after today. That's gotta be..." Gerard's face stiffens. "What?"

"I spent the longest time being at home. And now I will go back to being at home," he mutters.

"Oh," I say. "Well, there's..." I don't know what else to say.

Gerard glances at me. "Yeah, exactly. Nothing."

When we get to gym, Jenna is finding me at the attendance line. "Frank, oh my god, Frank!" she squeals.

I stare at her. "Hey, whoa, what's going on?"

She jumps up then grabs me by the shoulders. "Oh my god, so we were in our vocals class and we got the results back from regionals."

"Oh, and?"

"Well, everyone did great and our teacher was proud and all, yada yada. BUT!" I lean back as she's getting really excited and bouncing in my face. "Brendon was asked to attend State and compete! Like, you have no idea how big this is?"

A smile spreads to my face and I catch myself bouncing in sync with her. "Damn, like California level?" I ask.

She nods. "Yeah, like no one in the last five years, five years, has made it to state. And he is the only one in the whole school this year going."

Cody comes running over. "Did you tell him?" he calls out. Jenna nods. "Dude, this is so exciting, I'm like not even jealous cuz I'm just so excited."

"I am too, he deserves it! When is State?" I ask.

"It's over spring break. It's actually a long selection process so he's going to be in Sacramento for several days. We probably won't see him but like he can text us updates obviously."

"I'm really happy for him. Is it something you can win or is it just recognition?" I ask.

"It's for all high schoolers in the state of California so I think there's the top 20 that win and then 21 through 50 are all grouped as honorable mentions," Cody says. The gym teacher starts walking by with the attendance sheet. "Ope, Jen, you fill him in." Cody slips away and runs up to his spot towards the front with all the other C last name students.

Jenna starts stepping back closer toward her spot. "That's basically it," she laughs.

Gym is a cardio day and it's disgusting. We're all cramping and sweating by the end of the class. At lunch, Gerard fills in the others what he told me in history. Cody and Jenna know a bit more about art than I do so they try to give more insight. But Gerard has the same numbness that he did with me. He really doesn't care about art anymore. It hurts me a lot seeing him so indifferent. He's not a jerk anymore, which, cool, that's great. But it's still not him.

I feel so close like we are almost there with him. Sure, some things will never be the same. There's always going to be a hole in my heart over what happened. I will always miss Amelia and so will everyone. I still miss her a lot. But Gerard's had about a month to heal and it's been a long and rocky journey. I just wish he was back to himself. He had his mind and body back. His leg will never get better and maybe not his hand either. But I hope he comes back still.

Math seems to be taking longer than usual. I finished the test before even half the class period was over and with no other homework, I was sitting at my test staring at the wall. I used to write silly song lyrics whenever I was bored here. Amelia always liked them. Maybe she was being nice because I was her friend. But it still meant a lot that she complimented me. I could write a song about her. But I think it would only kill me.

I haven't cried in a long time and I would like to keep it that way. I miss her but all the memories we had, whenever we talked about the future, she was scared. She didn't want change, she didn't want things to get sad. When we were together, she just wanted to enjoy the present and what we had. I want to say that's what she'd want now. I can't tell if I'm making things up so I stop feeling so guilty or if it's true.

With less than a minute left, everyone starts rustling to pack their bags. Hushed murmurs start up talking about spring break. "Everyone turn in their test?" Mr. Sedgwick asks. There's a sea of nodding. "I hope you all have a safe spring break. No homework so enjoy." A few students quietly cheer. The teacher glances at me. "Uhh, Frank, may I speak with you for a moment?"

The bell rings and everyone else gets up. What's this about? I didn't cheat. Did I fail the test? No, there's no way I did. And even if that was possible, he couldn't have graded the tests already. I grab my backpack and head over to his desk as the rest of the class leaves the room. "Yes?" I ask.

"How have you been doing?" he asks, folding his hands on his desk. "I know you and Amelia were close."

"Oh," I mutter. I blink and collect my thoughts. A lump in my throat simmers down when I take a breath. "I'm holding up. It's been rough but getting by," I say. He nods and gives a sympathetic smile. I've been getting a lot of those kinds of smiles lately. "I didn't think you noticed."

"I have. I've been worried about you. I've been trying to go easier on the class." I give a nod. That it? A wellness check? "I noticed that your grades haven't staggered at all either."

I readjust my backpack on my shoulders. "Is that a problem?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Not at all. The contrary," he says. He leans back in his chair and collects the pile of tests and puts them in his briefcase. "I've started curving the tests now so grades wouldn't be as concerning for anyone all things considered. I noticed many students were struggling lately and the curve has helped them. You on the other hand have been helped differently. You've been receiving over 110% now."

I start fidgeting with my backpack straps. "Oh, um, if that's a problem you don't have to curve mine."

He starts shaking his head. "Curving it requires fairness. Everyone gets the same boost. You have been excelling in my class since day one. I would like to offer you to take a placement test for next year."

I blink a few times. "What would that mean?" I ask.

"It would give you the opportunity to skip a few levels of math to a more challenging curriculum. Perhaps to an AP level class that could offer college credit."

The whole point of taking this class was to have it easy. I wanted it to be easy so I didn't have to work hard in school. If I take a hard math class, then that's just making my senior year hard. And the mental state I'm in right now, I can't comprehend having school be a burden on top of everything else. "I'm flattered that you see that in me but math has always just been a requirement. Taking a hard class, even for college credit, wouldn't mean anything to me."

Mr. Sedgwick nods. "I understand. However, most universities require Gen Eds, math being a requirement. Taking this class in high school will allow you to opt-out of it later on. Additionally, if you reach a certain level, you'll be eligible to work as a tutor."

"Like teaching other students?"

"Yes, one of your classes in the school day will be at the tutoring center."

This might be interesting then if that can count for my class. "So I would tutor instead of taking a math class?"

"No," he says with a smile. "You will still have a math class, however, there is a payment." My eyes light up and he gives another smile seeing my reaction. "Not a paycheck, but at the end of the year, there is a several thousand dollar scholarships available for college."

I really haven't put too much thought into college. The future has been static and not something I am emotionally available to think about anymore. But this could be a start. Not necessarily signing the fuck up but grounding myself. "Maybe I look into it but no promises."

He nods. "Very well." He reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out a thin packet. "This will provide more information."

I scan over the first page but the text wall blurs together into a Times New Roman blur. "Thank you," I say, making my way toward the door. "Have a good break."

"You as well."

I make my way downstairs and the hallways are empty except for Jenna and Cody. "Hey, sorry, we had a test and my teacher was talking," I say picking up my pace over toward them.

"S'all good," Cody says. "We were wondering what was going on."

We start heading out. "What do you have got there, Frank?" Jenna asks looking down.

"Ah, something about a math placement test for next year." I slide my backpack to the side, unzip and slip the packet inside. I close it up then take out my phone. Cody and Jenna texted me asking about my whereabouts. I swipe their messages away when a new notification pops up. From Gerard.

-Hey-

I reply back to him while we head inside the van. -Hey- I buckle up and Cody starts backing out.

"It's officially break!" Jenna cheers rolling down the window. She sticks her hand out but the cold air floods inside.

"Oi, roll that back up. It's still nippy outside," Cody says.

Jenna glares at him. "Only if you promise to never say the word nippy again?"

"Whatever, just close it. My nips are freezing-"

"SHUT UP!" Jenna says and rolling it. I start laughing and she turns around. "Frank, do not encourage this. We don't need more."

"What? Too many nips?" Jenna socks him in the shoulder. "Whoa, whoa, no attacking the driver!" He cries out.

"You're at a stop sign, drama queen. Your foot is on the break," I say.

"Yeah, well maybe cuz nobody will give me the right of way!" He cries out. The car in front stops as if they heard him. "Oh, well, look at that. A kind soul." He waves then pulls out of the parking lot.

My phone gets a new notification. -I got a doctor's apt tomorrow and it's gonna be long. But Sunday you wanna come by?-

I can't help but smile. It's so close to normal. We still haven't talked about what he mentioned the other day. Probably will do it then. -Ya, sure thing. The 22nd?

-Yep-

-Works for me-