102

The sun was bright this morning, making my hand lift to cover my eyes just after they opened.

Morning. Oh how sometimes I hate you.

I stretch my hand across to him and when I feel the empty cold sheets, I drop my hand and look around the room for him.

Nope.

I sit up, wincing slightly. We spent the night in each other's arms.

Which was the nice way of putting I am sore because we didn't take many fucking breaks, not until I must have passed out in exhaustion.

I get up, pulling on one of t-shirts from the side of the bed and I cover myself, yawning as I slowly make my way down stairs.

"August?"

It was like what, nine?

Where would he be?

He wasn't down here so I look back up the stairs confused and then I gust of wind blows the back door drapes open and I see that he'd tied the door open.

Oh.

I walk towards the outdoors, picking up some shorts I had down here and slipping them on underneath his top.

I look out towards the beach and I relax a little.

I lean against the balcony fence.

He was swimming.

The sea calm, almost sparkling as his arms cut across the water. I push off and slowly walked down the beach, my eyes following as he sort of just swims back and forth for a few lengths.

I walk down and sit on the sand.

I remember watching him swim, not much less than a year ago.

Once again, he was engulfed in blue. But this time, the water didn't look as scary, he looked scarily powerful as he propelled himself forwards. Sunlight bright, just like it was before, all those months ago.

I just watch, marvel really, until he stops and comes out and I cant help but sit in awe as he walked slowly out of the water.

He's so beautiful.

So fucking beautiful.

"Good morning." I whisper.

He smiles slightly down at me, I hold up his towel and he takes it.

"It's hot today." I say.

"Yeah."

His voice was quiet.

I get to my feet slowly and go to him, I lean in for a kiss.

He gives me a small quick kiss and I blink as I feel dismissed. "Sorry I am all wet Emersyn."

I nod. "Did you sleep alright?"

August nods. "Yeah. It was fine."

I bite my cheek, worrying. Looking at him, the sun in my eyes.

He lifts his hand to block the sun for me. "Are you alright, why do you look so stressed?"

Because you are being a little cold.

I give him a smile. "You wanna join me in the shower?"

His eyebrows lift.

"I mean literally showering."

August's lips tug up. "Do you through?"

I nod. "Yeah I'm a little hurting."

His face falls immediately. "Badly?"

I shake my head and he tickle his fingertips down my wrist to link our fingers. "If you're sore, you should bath."

I shake my head. "Nah you need to clean ocean water off you, come on."

I don't give him the opportunity to say no, just drag his ass up the stairs from the beach to the house, our hands linked as he kicks off sand from his feet up on the deck.

Then we make our way upstairs.

"Did you actually sleep August?"

"Yeah, stop worrying."

"I feel like you're lying." I just say quietly, pushing the bedroom door open and he drops my hand, going over to his phone that was still on the nightstand.

He doesn't reply to me.

"I didn't know where you were when I woke up."

He scrolls through his phone. "Just felt warm enough to swim."

"You could have woken me up-"

"Okay, sorry."

"August." I frown.

He just rubs his head, looking at me stood by the bathroom door.

August then turns around, relocking his phone and when he turns around he'd different.

"Right beautiful, I am serious about this bath. Where does it hurt?"

I sigh almost in relief.

"It's fine." I say immediately. "I just wanna hug."

He walks towards me and I laugh, shaking my head immediately. "Not from cold wet August."

August chuckles, tossing the towel on the back of the door and then he carries on walking towards me. "How about a wet hot August?"

I send him a cheeky grin. "My favourite."

He laughs. "Get in the shower."

I duck under his arm and flick the shower on and August just watches me from the door way as I undress myself.

He does the same and I get in the shower first, pulling the door open and leaving it open for him.

August comes in soon after.

"You were fast asleep when I went out there, I didn't want to wake you."

"That's okay." I whisper, stepping back as the water runs over us, the shower loud around us.

August lifts his hand to my face and he cups my cheek so I just lean my head down, stepping close and he wraps his arm around me, giving me what I want.

Just a hug.

His hand moves my wet hair off my shoulder and I thought he was going to kiss it until he tensed.

He pulls back, looking at my shoulder and then he grabs my waist and pushes me back from him, his eyes on my body.

I lift my arm to cover myself awkwardly.

"I bruised you."

Oh.

I look down at my hips, waiste. "We were a little rough last night."

"I am sorry."

"Sh, it's fine."

"You're hurt."

"No I have some bruises, it's no different from-" I lift my the mark I have left on his neck and he just pulls away from my touch.

"August." I whisper.

"Sorry." He says again, coming back close and he pushed me back under the water fully, meaning I cant talk, but I just close my eyes, lean my head up so the water is directly running down my hair, my back.

I turn us around, making my go under the water.

"What's running through your brain?" I ask, bending down and pick up the wash cloth and then I start washing him, he just watched me, his hands lifting to hold my waist gently.

His touch was literally feather light, as if I was going to break. I just frowned a little and placed some shower gel on the clothe and I lift his arm, going along it slowly.

"Em?"

I look up.

"I love you."

I almost sighed in relief.

It's funny how hardly even a week ago I would never imagine him to say it, and now It's the only thing that makes me feel less worried.

"You sure?" I ask.

He smiles a little. He nods.

"Then tell me what's on your mind?" I ask.

August just shakes his head and turns me around, pulling me back so our bodies are flush and he takes the clothe from my hands and starts washing me and I close my eyes, the whole thing so fucking relaxing.

It was relaxing, not sexual, but I was slightly surprised that it wasn't. That he wasn't getting turned on.

I lean my head back to his shoulder and look up, but he just moves so his head tilts back in the water and I duck mine because I didn't want it to fit my face.

We just wash, clean, touch eachother's skin.

And then we start the day, August seemingly okay after the shower. His voice loud across the house as he calls for me, laughs when I come down in something that he apparently found funny.

I frown at him, jumping down the last few steps.

"August I thought you were going to compliment me, not laugh at me."

"You look very good babe, it's just you wore that dress when you came to mine after the beach, like in the summer and It was making me laugh remembering how fucking annoying I was."

My eyebrows raise and I go and grab my cardigan as the doors were still open and although it was sunny outside this dress was sweet, short and strappy and I was cold.

"What do ya mean?"

"I could have just been with you and stopped fighting it."

I just nod, I don't know what I think. We- we shouldn't have done the shit we did last summer because he was unwell.

He looks at me. "Ima run and get some drugs of your dad, I'll be back-"

"Woah, drugs?"

August looks at me. "My medication Em."

I nod slowly. "But you have it, like-"

"No like-" He sighs. "Look I just need to pop out, I am literally going to see your dad."

"Can I come?"

August lifts his hand to his forehead and I wince.

"Okay, sorry. No go, I'm being clingy. I'll see you later."

He nods. "I'll be back in literally ten minutes."

"Okay."

And he goes, he goes and when he comes back he's quiet. And I spend the afternoon pratically by myself, him sat next to me reading my book and we were on the balcony, me doing some painting.

I think we should be in comfortable silence. He looks comfortable.

I was bouncing my leg.

I dunno.

It's just been an odd day. Lunch was fine, we are fine, he's happy, talking when I talk to him.

But then Dinner is the same. I cooked, I offered, he said sure. I made two singal lasagnes. One vegetarian, one obviously not.

But we sit here, music playing from the radio inside by I just am buckling under the pressure of the silence.

He's just going to say I'm overthinking if I ask.

I let out a low breath and his head lifts, looking at me.

I am still staring down at my food.

"You struggling?" He asks. "It's really nice."

I look up.

"You're stressing me out."

He looks slightly taken back.

I ramble out my feelings. "Is something wrong? Did I do something? Are we okay?"

Now he just looks surprised.

"Em, we're good. I'm fine. Of course you haven't done anything."

I toss my culterly down, we both wince at the loudness.

"I know when you aren't okay August. Why lie? Why not just talk to me, I am here, breaking under the tenseness of your mood. I can lit-"

He closes his eyes, looking like he's trying to be patient and I just sigh.

"Baby." I say. I will use his words if I need to. "Leo."

August softens.

"I can feel your energy, you know I can, when you're not okay I can literally feel it on my skin."

He laughs a little, shaking his head at me. "Dramatic."

"August." I sigh, rubbing my eyes out of tiredness.

He nods. "Emersyn I'm just in my head a bit today. I admit. I am sorry, I've been trying to be normal, I swear."

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"Literally nothing, we're good, you're perfect. I love it here with you." He says. "I promise you we are fine, you are fine."

I nod slowly. "Are you just trying to reassure me."

He shakes his head once then nods. "I am trying to reassure you, yes. But not just, I mean it."

"Okay." I whisper.

He reaches forwards and picks up my cultlery. "Now stop being theratrical, eat please."

I take them back a little sheepishly.

He looks at me. "What were you painting?"

I pout. "Obviously the scene." I gesture out to the sea.

He laughs. "I didn't really look, I wasn't being cruel."

"You know, I think you'd be a good artist."

August raises his eyebrow and I immediately smile amused. "Like you would draw loads of geometrical things and have lines and like different colours."

He shakes his head. "Honestly, creativity and me are not really friends, can't I just let you be the creative one?"

I just shake my head. "Nuh uh."

"Well you aren't going to get me to fulfil your wishes."

"Honestly all I want is that scene from ghost, where they be doing pottery together, that's hot and sweet."

August laughs at me. "Sadly we do not have a pottery wheel."

"I have access to a phone, give me a day, I'll have it here by noon."

He grins. "Baby no."

I pout and he leans over and tilts my chin up to press a kiss on my pursed lip.

"Emersyn eat." He says after he pulled away.

I just start eating, looking down.

"Can we do some art together?" I whisper.

"We did art together like yesterday."

"Yeah but I mean more-"

August shakes his head. "How about a swim?"

I look up.

"It's cold but you'll get used to it, plus the sun is almost down and if we wait a little bit, the stars will start to appear and I've always wanted to go swimming with you at night."

Really?

"You wanted to swim with me at night?"

He nods. "When I saw you walk out of the ocean that night, I was jealous."

"Of me?"

"No the water."

I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic.

But well he wasn't being sarcastic when he said about swimming. So that's why we're here, an hour later, my swimming costume on because there were other houses and I was scared and so August was stood knee deep in the water, encouraging me to get in.

It was fine, I was just taking my time.

The sky was fucking full of stars and I was just shocked, how it changed so quickly. How the sun was there and then suddenly it wasn't.

I don't know, August steps another step back, him smiling back at me as I just shake my head.

How doesn't he find it cold?

I step another step into the sand and the water level rises to the top of my thigh, I gasp a little. He laughs, lifting his hand to me, asking me to take his.

I shake my head. "You'll pull me in."

"It always works with Lottie." He shrugs.

"Leo, you dare pull me in, I will close my legs to you for entirnity."

"Probably be best."

I gasp and he laughs, stepping another footstep deeper.

"Emersyn." He groans. His patience was lacking right now.

I step in deeper and it rises to my butt, I shiver, the cold water surrounding me.

He falls backwards, utterly ignoring my surprise and floats there, submerged in the water.

"Em, look up."

I look up at the stars, but then immeditaly looked down at August. Focusing on the mirror like quality of the water, I shook my head as I noticed the twinkling nature of the refelction. The colours, around us: birthstone blue, sequin-silver, molten gold, white, solar-

I look at him and walk in, wanting to be apart of the picture and August opens his arms to greet me. As I dunk my shoulders under, I inhale roughly, it was so cold.

I move as close as I can for heat and his hands come to my ass, picking me up and then wrapping my thighs around him. I just press myself close as he lowers us both so our shoulders were under.

I look up, we both do, in silence.

"That's your star." He whispers after a little while, pointing to the brightest star in the sky.

I laugh. "Oh, is it now?"

It's actually called Sirius A.

"Yes." He says.

"Maybe I wanna be the moon?" I ask.

August squeezes me. "You are the moon, I am saying that that star belongs to you."

I roll my eyes but lower them from the beautiful sky to someone even more God damn stunning.

"Why?"

"Because it's the brightest star." He says. "I have decided it should be yours."

I look up again, wrapping my arms even tighter around his neck and he tightens his hold on me too.

"I wonder how many people have said that. To someone they love. I wonder how many parents have pointed up at the sky and told their daughter, son, that this is your star. I wonder how many couples, lovers have looked up and allotted that star their partners."

He's just looking at me.

I look down at him.

"It must have so much energy inside of it, so much love."

August just smiles slightly at me. My teeth chatter as a somewhat bigger wave makes him jump off the bottom of the shore to make sure we don't go under from it.

I look at him.

"The waves are getting big."

He nods. "Yeah. You wanna go upstairs?"

I just look up at the stars.

"They're so pretty tonight though."

"It's the clearest night, come on. Let's shower."

I just nod and he drops me and in silence we make our way out of the ocean and after drying slightly we just make our way in. It's only nine, but August locks the doors, the windows. We go upstairs, our finger hooked together a little, just slightly.

Just me holding onto him and him leading me upstairs.

We shower still quiet and I think it's funny, how he's stood in front of me and I am so aware of my breathing.

As we look at eachother.

As my heart rate rises just at the eyecontact.

He takes my breath away, still.

We move closer and he ducks his head to kiss me tenderly. Our bodies pressing together tightly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. August detaches himself from me for a second, and put some soap on his hands, so I just did the same but he moved me closer again and he slowly started washing me like this morning.

But it was different, probably because as his hands were on my back, my ass, I felt him pressing into me a little.

He took his time, slowly lathering the soap over my body, working his way up to my chest, and I leans back against him, letting out an encouraging sigh.

I start to copy him, my hands running down his body and his breathing changed slightly as I wrap my fingers around him.

He twitched in my hand and suddenly his lips were back on mine, our kiss growing much more heated.

He talks between our lips. "Em, we don't have to. You said you hurt."

I just tighten my grip a little and he exhales harshly.

"How sore at you?" He asks seriously.

I let go, looking up at him. "I am not."

He rolls his eyes at me wide eyed look.

"You sure?"

I nod.

He thinks about it.

Then he brings us under the water more, focusing on washing the soap off and then he leans down to my ear. His places a kiss over it, making me squirm against him, especially as he starts to lightly bring my ear lobe between his teeth.

"August." I sigh, closeing my eyes.

"You're so responsive tonight." He mumbles.

"Everything's really sensitive." I whisper, agreeing.

His hand comes to cup my other cheek, turning his lips against my ear more.

"Go dry and then sit on the bed waiting for me."

I lean into his breath, his lips.

He pulls away.

"Quickly Emersyn."

I turn around, ringing my hair out and then getting out.

August washes properlly, and I just towel dry, going to the bedroom. I leave my hair wet, hanging up my towels and I admittedly feel only slightly cold as I go and sit crossed legged in the middle of the bed. I assume he meant no clothes?

Well I was here now anyway.

August wasn't long, he doesn't look at me when he comes out, just smirks slightly as I assume he sees me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for him. He goes to out bags and my eyebrows raise when he gets a hold of the scary one.

He looks. Raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"

I nod.

"Verbal."

"Yeah." I whisper.

He unzips it and takes out the silk scalves, all five of them.

"Do you trust me?"

I just look at him and nod.

Of course I do.

He lets them fall on the corner of the bed and he lifts one up to my head and he gently blindfolds me.

I was just trying to not let him know I was pratically panting. He gets too smug.

He hasn't even touched me.

"Can you see me?"

"No." I whisper.

"Lie down."