"You look nice."

His voice was soft behind me, his palms gently sliding over my waist from behind as I stood at the stove.

I was making cookies.

I wasn't sure why, I was just bored waiting for Luella to get ready and she must have text the boys to come up because now August is pressing himself to my back and T is on the couch complaining that Luella was taking long.

I leant back, pressing against his chest a little as I scoop batter out from the mixing bowl to the tray.

They took precisely fourteen minutes to cook.

It wasn't going to take long.

"Just nice?" I ask, my voice a little coy.

He chuckled, dipping his head and places and small soft kiss on my neck.

"Do you want to be called beautiful?"

"Uh huh." I say, ignoring his wandering hands.

"You look stunning."

I laugh, squirming away from his lips and I take the tray and walk with it to the already preheated oven.

I look at him and he's leant against the side, watching me, the wooden spoon already between his lips.

I roll my eyes at the look he was giving me.

I was wearing a black dress, it was modest, smock style ish. My hair was long, straightened and I had no eye makeup on, which Luella said was a must because we wanted to look a little innocent. She had forced the red lipstick though, saying it was a necessity with the underwear which was hidden below.

The lingerie was unreal, the confidence it like, gave me. It was funny, how I thought this was for him and then I put it on and I realised it's transformative. Honestly, I might start wearing this sort of thing all the time, like for myself. It's a real mood booster.

I can't afford that.

But the point is still made.

August lifts his hand to me and I shake my head, pushing it away and he laughs as I try to side step him, heading towards T.

August says not so quickly, otherwise displayed as a small hand tug and a spin which sent me falling into his arms.

"How was the doctors?" He asks quietly.

"It's fine, my blood pressure was fine today so they didn't say about changing my contraceptive. They wrote me a prescription for the other medication though..." I say this quietly and he nods, listening to me.

"Medication will help on the bad days Em."

I just shrug. "I know."

I look to T, his head still turned away from us and I look at August. I couldn't help but study him again, his face, the beauty etched in his eyes, I felt as if I knew each line of his face perfectly.

It was hard work.

Knowing someone this well but having this weird blank space between us.

Communication.

We used to be good at it.

Now I am scared to hear what he has to say.

Not once have I heard what I wanted from August's ears. Even when he used to say all those things, those things that I refer to Leo moments, I now know they were corrupted, tarnished by his illness.

It's not his fault but being this close to him scares me.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispers, lowering his head a little to catch my eyes which were stuck on his face.

I shake my head, meeting his eyes and smiling a little.

"Nothing."

His smile is almost soft, he lifts his hand to my cheek, stretching his fingers out and sliding them up into my hair as he does. "Where did you go?"

I shake my head.

"Speak to me." He whispers, his eyebrow furrowed slightly, and I just lift my hand to his button up and toy with the end, the seam. I then lean in, turning my head and I catch Luella coming out of her room just as I lean on August for a hug.

He wraps his arm around me, not embarrassed, but I pull away. I send Luella a smile and she exaggeratedly rolls her eyes at us.

"You look hot." I say.

"Yeah well I tried." She laughs and looks at T.

T is smirking. "You look like an angel Luella."

She um, doesn't. Maybe one that had fallen from grace, that sort of thing. She looked stunning and he literally looked like he couldn't take his eyes off her.

She smiles at him, kneeling between his legs on the sofa to give him a quick kiss.

August lifts his hand to my face.

"Are you good?"

I nod. "I am good."

"Are you sure?"

I frown at him. "Would I lie to you?"

He shrugs. "I assume not."

I smile and quickly look to Luella and Trev, they were still, um distracted, so I tiptoe and press a kiss quickly on his lips.

He kisses me back, as if he didn't want me to pull away but I do, his lips parted in protest.

I grin, lifting my finger to his lips, rubbing off the little hint of rouge. He smirks a little at that and leans down, going to kiss me again and I press my fingers over his lips, my turn to protest.

"Nope."

He looks unimpressed. "They know, they don't give a shit."

I shrug. "We're friends."

He deadpans, his face straightening and I smile at him, liking his grumpy face.

"Emersyn Rose-"

"Nuh uh." I say, escaping his hands and going to poor myself a small drink. Luella detaches from Trev, but he spins her around and places her on his lap and I laugh at them.

He is enamoured by her and I love it.

"Drinks guys?" I ask, crouching down by the coffee table.

"What is that smell?" She asks.

"Cookies."

She blinks at me. "Em why?"

I shrug. "Thought why not."

Lue laughs and Trev sits them both up, August comes over and places himself on the arm of the couch, watching me.

I pour everyone a drink, deciding it's necessary. I smile at him when he shakes his head at me but takes the drink from my hand.

He takes a sip and swallows, raising an eyebrow at me. "Are you trying to make us hungover at Charlotte's party?"

I shake my head quickly but flash him a smile when he rolls his eyes.

I look to Luella and Trev and he's quietly talking into her ear.

I clear my throat at them.

"Are you two going to make it out?" I ask amused and Luella grins back but Trev just looks a little stressed.

"Maybe." He mumbles, wrapping his hand around her middle and I laugh at that, shaking my head.

"Well my cookies should be done soon and we're meeting Rayne and Jude at the bar in half an hour."

"Half an hour is enough time-" Tre starts and Luella laughs and quickly shuts him down.

"I didn't spend this much time dressing up for you to ruin it in five minutes."

Leo scoffs, hiding his amusement behind a cough and I look at him amused, then back to T.

"Five minutes? Really Lue?"

She just grins and gets off him, patting his cheek. "Patience is key."

He just goes to kick her away from him, playfully swatting her ass as she passes. He lies down on the couch, crinkling up his top.

He narrows his eyes at me and August now, me sat knelt opposite T and August sat on the chair to my right, Trev's left.

"What is this I am hearing about you two-"

"Mate you've known for weeks." August says, shutting him down and T sighs.

"At least let me play protective friend." He mumbles, looking at August in annoyance and August just shrugs, looking at me.

"I didn't tell him, he just-"

I wave it off. "It's fine."

I stand up, heading into the kitchen and I place the washing up in the sink, knowing I will do it tomorrow before I head home.

August was driving us, we talked about it last night. How there was no point in not just driving together.

I agreed.

I cleared up the kitchen as Lue and the boys got ready to leave and then my timer was going off and it wasn't long before Luella was shoving warm cookies into her purse, all of us laughing at her but happy that she was doing it.

We head out the door and August goes to link our fingers and I sigh in tension, he was stressing me out.

I stop walking, like mid hallway I just stop, and he slows to a halt too and then Trev and Luella look back at us.

Luella rolls her eyes at me and smiles. "What have you forgot?"

I smile a little and shake my head. "Nothing, go ahead, we'll catch you up."

August has his hands lifted in surrender by the time Lue and T turn around and I look at him.

I sigh, he chuckles, and I rub my head because this was supposed to be a nice night and I was making it difficult.

"Why'd you wanna hold my hand August?"

He drops his hands, looking at me carefully. He seems surprised.

He nods once, as like to himself and he gives me a small smile. "Just because I like having our skin attached. You look attractive Emersyn and it's hard to keep my hands off you."

My heart.

I wrap my arms around myself.

"Was that the wrong response?" He asks.

I screw my face up. "Are you just saying what you think I want to hear?"

"No. I am trying to say a mixture between telling the truth and not stressing you out."

I sigh, looking at his face. "I feel stressed."

"I can feel that."

"August can we please tone it down a bit?"

He nods.

I try to explain. "I just don't understand how it is me telling you to be less- affectionate? When it was always the other way around-"

"Emersyn I get it. You want us to be friends. I hear you. Same page. I am sorry you think I'm acting more than that, this is just how we've always been. I get clouded."

I swallow.

I am a fucking head case, because that's not what I want.

That's not what I want, yet I am stopping it when he acts like he wants more.

Because like- he doesn't. He never has.

I ask.

I ask because I had to.

"Are we still on the same page?" I whisper this, quiet, scared.

A little unnecessary timid.

He steps closer and tilts my chin.

"Yes, same page. No feelings. I feel nothing for you."

Ouchie.

I pull back, offended. "Nothing? Really. You had to say nothing?"

He groans, his head falling back, and my name is muttered from his lips in pure frustration.

"Em-er-syn."

I laugh, I couldn't help it. I was being difficult. He looks at me, lifts an eyebrow and I lift my hand, offering him to take it.

He looks at my hand in pure fucking confusion and then he shakes his head, amusement over taking his features and I smile back, his hand lifts and he connects his fingers with mine.

"You're being complicated." He says quietly as we start to walk a bit.

"I am allowed to be." I say back, in the same tone.

"You are."

"I am?" I ask, surprised a bit.

"Yes Em, you're in charge here."

I look up at him confused as we head to the elevator.

"I thought it was established that I'm not..."

He smirks, looking down at me and he drops my hand to wrap an arm around my shoulder and I am pulled towards him, we stumble into the lift together, his arm around me and me pressed into his side.

"You know you are in charge of what's happening between us." He says.

I turn into him, looking up. I whisper "Never was before."

He smiled a little painfully. "Neither was I."

I just go to press my face into his chest and he chuckles and tilts my head up again.

"Lipstick stains, no thanks."

I pull a face.

He lowers his head and we were in the lift so I just was going to go with it, but then I decided no.

I turn my head and his lips meet my cheek.

An annoyed sigh leaves his lips.

"You said no lipstick stains." I mumble, he narrows his eyes, I smile, innocently.

The door opens and T and Luella are waiting outside for us and August laughs, at our whole little interaction, pushing me away from him and I stumble forwards and almost bump into Lue.

I smile, linking my arm with hers.

"August just told me he feels nothing for me." I say, loudly, letting my head fall back to see him and as Luella gasps and Trev shakes his head at August's profile, August shakes his head at me slowly, his lip between his teeth.

I grin, skipping along and pulling Luella with me.

We opted not to wear jackets.

Even though it was only almost March and it was still chilly.

We decided to brunt it.

Or well she said she couldn't match anything with her dress and I decided that she's be lonely in her coldness, so I didn't put my coat on either.

"What-" Luella starts and I giggle.

"Ignore her she's drunk."

My lips part, looking back at him.

"I haven't drunk anything."

"Well- unstable then."

My mouth opens and he nods to it, his eyebrows raised and I close my lips quickly and turn back around to Lue.

"Yeah so now I am sad and August is mean."

She frowns at me, fully concerned, but she is seemingly confused by my smile.

I dunno either.

It's just funny.

It's like we say these things but there's a sub text.

Always a fucking sub text.

Or maybe I am fully insane.

Damn.

I pull Luella along with me, listening as she whispers reassuring things into my ear and truly, when I say listening, I'm actually thinking about seeing Rayne and Jude and wondering if other's will show up too, or whether it'll be just us.

I dunno.

I am feeling really high energy though, I don't know why.

Self-preservation mode?

August and T are talking behind us, I can feel him close, I hate that it's comforting. Hate it. Hate hate hate.

I am in a weird mood.

Like in the mood to fight him.

I turn around dropping Lue's arm and he almost bumps into me, holding my waist steady and we press together.

"Em." He mumbles confused.

I look up at him and smile. "Who'd win out of us two in a fight?" I ask.

He blinks down at me, then he looks to T and Lue as in 'the fuck?'. I turn around and carry on walking, opening the question out to them both.

"Who'd you think would win?" I ask.

Luella looks at me as if I've gone berserk. I smile.

She rolls her eyes and August places his hand on my waist, guiding me to turn the corner.

"You would." Trev says. "For sure."

I grin over my shoulder at him, happy to be humbled.

"Only because he'd let her win. Like if she tried to attack him." Luella says.

I look at August and he nods in slight amusement and I predict his words before he even says them.

"She'd be doing me a favour."

I glare, batting his hands away from me.

"No death jokes, I am taking them away from you now." I say to him and he rolls his eyes lightly.

"I mean it." I say.

"Maybe I do too?"

I gasp and step towards him and he laughs, catching my wrists as if he was afraid I was going to hit him.

"I am joking Emersyn, walk."

I just turn around and August let's go off me, we head towards the pub we were going to, Rayne and Jude outside waiting.

I smile, heading away from Lue and that quickly to hug Rayne and then I hug Jude, almost equally happy to see him.

"Hey beautiful." He says, letting me go as I pull back. "Long time."

I nod. It feels like ages. "I missed you."

"Yeah I missed you too." He smiles and Rayne gives me a small kiss on the cheek as we stand besides each other, waiting for the others to catch up.

"Jude's coming tomorrow." He says and I turn my eyes to Jude's surprised.

Jude is coming to the family birthday dinner.

"Woah Judie-dude, welcome to the family."

Rayne coughs, narrowing his eyes at me unimpressed and I grin, I grin at Jude and he returns a similar level of excitement.

"You'll tell me all the information I need to know, right? I keep asking for back stories, data, hobbies, Rayne won't give me a dime."

I grin. "Oh I can tell you everything."

He grins at me and offers me his arm, leaving Rayne to greet his brother and Lue and T, Jude drags me along with him as we enter the already busy pub.

It's so warm in here, it's so cosy, student's filling the tables and stools and people hanging around playing pool, or playing darts. There was live music this evening, that's why we chose this place. A band playing.

They looked to be setting up.

Jude and I walk in, heading to a table which we reserved earlier, yep, how adult, we rang up and reserved a table for us all, because like there was going to be at least six of us and well-

One of the bar staff skips over to Jude and I and I tell her the confirmation details and she nods, letting us sit down, as she now knows that we were in the right spot.

My stomach drops when I look at Lue, she was reaching into her bag for a cookie and panic strikes me because did I turn off the oven?

Oh goodness.

I will have to go back and check-

Jude and I had sat down, Luella and T sitting across from us and August leans down to my ear, him and Rayne were going to the bar to get drinks.

I grip his hand quickly before he can ask what I wanted to drink.

"Leo do you remember if I turned off the oven, I always forget."

He chuckles and flips my hand so he can give it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's leo now is it?"

I look up at him pleadingly.

"You turned it off Em, I checked, even turned off the switch."

I deflate in relief.

I keep leaving it on.

It was a bad habit.

I smile at him and he nods at me. "What do you want to drink?"

I shrug. "Something without sugar, I am already-" I widen my eyes to tell him I'm hyper and he laughs, nodding and pulls away, walking with Rayne back to the bar.

I think he already got Lue and Trev's order.

I look to Luella and open my hand to her.

She rolls her eyes and sneaks me a cookie and I smile, secretly tearing it in half and offering Jude one side.

He looks down at them. "What have they got in it?"

I look at him confused.

Luella laughs. "Nothing, they're normal."

"Why are you two acting so sus then?" He chuckles and takes a bite.

"Oh you thought they were weed cookies." I say.

He nods, smiling at me.

"No I just wanted to bake."

He laughs and I look at him seriously. "That leads us to Ivy, Rayne's mumma."

He nods slowly, cookie in his mouth.

"She loves to bake, she's not a terrible baker... but she's sensitive. Things go wrong in the kitchen easily for her. So if she asks your opinion, always say it's great. Always. Even if it's not."

He nods, looking highly amused.

"Lottie is the same, she will get very upset if you are mean to her."

He frowns. "I am not going to be mean."

I sigh at him. "Judie dude, she thinks everyone is being mean, she's like 13."

His lips form an O and I laugh. "You just have to act interested in what she's saying, she's great, she says interesting things, it won't be hard."

Jude nods.

"Jackson is quieter than like- Ivy and Lottie, but he's nice. Not really stern, not unless you're August and well- yanoe- you're not."

Jude laughs, shaking his head at me. I turn to him even more excitedly.

"Jackson's dad is him but like- funnier."

Jude laughs and I grin back. "Not to be rude, I just mean like, Jackson's a little serious. Mr Richardson is easy going, sorta, like he's the same, they both just have a dry sense of humour but like it's fine."