"Emersyn." August laughs and I just sit on his bedroom floor impatiently.

"You promised to change the sheets yesterday."

"And I did."

"No these are the same!"

"Em, I put them back on when they were clean and dry-"

"You're lying!" I exclaim in embarrassment and fall back on his floor, covering my face with my hands.

Last night I had um, like- just he made me come undone a lot and it was embarrassing and he said it was normal and I just never really noticed before I guess how messy we get.

Sorry for the tmi, but yeah, he promised he'd change the sheets.

"Come here." August says and I shake my head.

"Here, Em."

"No." I mutter.

"Now."

Okay.

I literally feel it in my body, when he changes his tone, it's like he switches some sort of magnetic field on and I am crawling towards him, kneeling between his legs.

"I changed the sheets."

I am looking up at him, nodding wide eyed.

He starts to undo his belt and my eyes widen more, watching him.

"Undress."

I am pretty undressed already, like I just had my underwear on from the way we were making out against his desk a few moments ago.

But I am like feeling a certain way so it always makes my hands shake when he watches me like this. I lift my hands around my back and unclip my bra, pulling it away from me and he smirks at me.

He was constantly on my mind at the moment. It was exhausting. The desire I had for him, for his touch, the need to press myself against him, it was like a persistent ache.

And then we'd- do this- and it would be fixed. It would be fixed until he'd lift his finger and run it down my body, watching the way I responded, sighed, tingled.

And it would be back again.

I yearned for him, especially at night, if I ever woke up, alone. I wanted to go back down, call him back up.

It was a nightmare.

And when he was here, lifting his hand and sliding it into my hair, I wanted to breath him in, convince him, I don't know what off.

But I constantly felt like I had to remind him.

That this is what it feels like.

He gently sweeps through my hair as I just look up at him, on my knees by the side of his bed as he sits on the edge, his legs parted for me to kneel between.

He grips my hair, pulling me up to kneel tall and he captures my lip with his, I don't respond.

It's a little game we started to play.

Where I don't kiss him back.

He kisses me deeper, his tongue finding mine and I sigh into it, not being very good at the game.

He chuckles and I pull away, well I try, his hand is still gripping my hair and it's fucking tight.

"Your kisses don't affect me." I whisper against his lips and he chuckles, tightening his hand in my hair in respond and I fall against him.

"Oh really?"

"Mhm." I hum, my breathing heavy.

"Let's see against that."

I smile before he kisses me again and he pauses, his lips hovering.

"Or well actually, you don't want kisses?"

I let out a staggered breath.

I open my eyes back up and his are watching me carefully.

"Kiss me." He demands. "I want you to kiss me."

I kneel up, going to kiss him and he tightens his grip harsher and I can't move to his lips.

"Not there."

I reach up to his hand, pushing it away and he lets me go, knowing when to drop me, I don't usually move his hand but if he wanted me to kiss him then I'd have to be looser.

I slowly unbutton his shirt, placing kisses along his chest, he leans back on his palms, watching me.

I just smile as I let my tongue taste his skin, I love this. Damn it. I take his top off, placing kisses down his body, rubbing my palms up and down his legs as I do so.

"Your mouth only, no hands."

I look up at him, a little shocked, we'd developed a little system that always makes him um, happy, so I was a little surprised.

But okay.

Challenge fucking accepted Leo.

I lift my hands to his waist band and he pushes them away, harshly, making me stumble into him and as he smirks I turn my head and gently bite his thigh, annoyed that he's laughing at me.

He stops laughing.

"That's it baby."

I use my teeth to unzip him more and he helps me pull his clothes off, his hands in my hair as soon as he was naked in front of me.

I reached for him, out of habit and a low growl left his lips and I couldn't help it, I let out a sound which was embarrassing to anyone other than August, he fucking loved the sounds.

"Do I need to tie your hands?"

I looked up at him shocked and a small smirk crawled onto his lips. "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

I nodded.

He chuckled and looked at me seriously. "Yeah?"

I nodded.

He looked around his room and his eyes darted of somewhere but then he looked at me and a small smile grazed his lips. "Go and get my robe tie."

I got up immediately and headed to his bathroom, not even fucking shy anymore, just doing what he says, his hand is on himself when I'- back and pause at that.

I want to watch him one day, to that, he always makes me, but for some reason I wanna see him do it.

Lust.

It's weird isn't it?

"Come here." He pats his knee and I come and sit down, balancing on one of his legs, I start softly stroking his chest and he chuckles.

"I need your hands behind your back if ima tie them."

I let out a shaky breath and move my hands behind my back and August is softly kissing my shoulder as I feel him tighten the material rope over my wrists.

"How does that feel?" He whispers and I lean into his lips by my ear, in need of something and he laughs. He drops my hands and they're tied, and he brings his hand around to my front, slowly rubbing my leg.

I need him to touch me.

I open my legs for him and he tuts.

Because I'm being inpatient.

But he gently runs his finger up my thigh and slowly over my underwear, just gently trailing me, I try to move to increase the pressure and he chuckles and then he places a hand on my back and I am pushed off his knee and back onto his carpet.

"Finish what you started then I'll finish what I started."

I don't speak a lot when we do this stuff, it's like the opposite of our normal dynamic. Where I speak a lot, and he's quiet.

Instead I just listen, do as I am told. And with my hands tied behind my back, I face him again and kneel up, he leans back, watching me again.

I stare at him, at his eyes and then his hands tangle into my hair again and I lowly look down, and August moves my head down.

Alright Leo.

I got it.

I place a kiss on him, the inside of his thigh, the other one and then I press a kiss on the base, listening as his breathing turned ragged and I took that as an indicator to lick up. I looked up and he nodded once, slowly, encouragingly and so I kept going, drawing the tip into my mouth and August's face softened and his hands became softer in my hair.

With the head between my lips, I flicked my tongue and swirled it, tasting him eagerly. He pushed my head down and I took a few inches in and drawing out before repeating. Hollowing out my mouth like he had told me too before. August groaned, his head falling back and I did it again, taking him further in and he let out a small amused sound and I got the impulse to bite.

He laughs a lot, amused at things I do, it irritates me so much.

I don't bite.

I just make it so it's not funny.

I dove back down, putting it all together, taking him in deeper, sucking harder, licking around his tip. He twitched in my mouth and I continued and my eyes bulged a little when his tip hit the back of my throat for the first time and I felt my eyes water, my throat saying no thanks but then he cursed and I soon found myself quickening my pace at the sound of the word "Fuck."

I could feel every inch of him along my lips as I bobbed my head faster, liking how every time I sucked harder he cursed, how his hips met my lips urgently.

I need to breath so I drew him slower, more sensually and lifting my eyes to see him and he was watching me, he shuddered at the eye contact thing and I hummed in encouragement, his eyes slammed shut and I wondered if that was because it felt good for me to hum?

It feels good when he does it.

I close my eyes, going straight back down to work and I feel my throat relax a little and he slides all in and we grabs a hold of my head, drawing out of mouth and I push forwards again, enjoying that he was shocked at how far I could take him and then I hollow my cheeks and suck harder.

"Fuck, Emersyn."

I could feel him about to explode so I drew back and I watched him, a watched him grab a hold of himself and he carried on the last pump, twisting his hand around himself and he was moaning low, and he aimed leant back on the bed, and came apart as I watched, splattering up against his tan abdomen.

I was on fire.

He's leant on his elbows, his eyes on me and I kneel up more, and slowly, as if it was something forbidden, I licked the white trail dripping across his muscles. My eyelids fluttering with the heat of his eyes, August looked as if he could destroy me.

I was leaning my whole weight on him, my chest pressed against his already hardening self below and I continued to clear him up.

"Would you like your arms free now?" He asked, his voice deep and I looked up at him and nodded.

He moved to untie my hands and I rested my cheek against his thigh, resting for a second.

I had a long day today.

He pulls me up, my arms strained from being behind my back for long.

I fall down on his chest and August laughs. "Emersyn Rose?"

I hate that more than baby.

I mean the opposite. I know I do.

I look at him and he's sitting us up.

"You wanna rest?"

I glare.

It was my turn.

He chuckles and flips us, him on top.

"What do you want?"

I wanted to be lazy.

If I was being honest.

I reach down and take him in my hands and August leans his head down, pressed kisses along my chest, taking my nipple in his mouth as I stroke my hand over him, making him hard enough to take me.

I lift my hips needily and August sighs in annoyance about something and I immediately get shy, worried.

My hands leave him, coming to cover my face and his lips are by my ear immediately. "Not annoyed with you baby, shh it's okay."

I let him pull my hands away and he kisses me gently, his hand coming up to rub over my chest, the nipple that he was just focusing on and I lift my hips again impatiently.

"Alright, alright." He whispers and then yeah, fingertips turn to matches and we light each other on fire, again, and again. And he's burning me, scaring me with his touch and I know, I knew even before we started this thing up again that he was ruining me.

For anyone else.

Because no one else would understand me like this.

And it wasn't until later, when I was sat, straddling him, his head on the pillow, watching me as I talked and gently run my fingers down his chest that it dawned on me that it was my turn to get up and leave.

I sighed, looking at him.

"Why did your eyes go over to your draw earlier?" I ask quietly, playing with his nipple a little, just distractedly.

He hums in amusement. "I have proper stuff, to use. Like that we could have used instead of the robe tie."

I look down at him surprised.

Then I pull a face.

"Things you've used with other girls."

He nods. "Hence why I didn't suggest it."

"What do you have?" I ask quietly, intrigued.

"Don't worry about it."

I press my palm down on his chest in annoyance and he chuckles, lifting his hands to my thighs which were either side of him.

"Just like restraints."

I look at him.

"What else?"

He rolls his eyes. "Blindfolds and shit."

I pout. "You brought them to use with-"

"Nah they were mostly just left here from Nia."

I pull a face and he laughs, lifting his head up and I almost fall off his lap. He sits up, keeping me close and pressing our chests together.

"I also have other things, like nipple toys, clit-"

I press a kiss to his lips to shut him up, my cheeks burning.

He kisses me back easily.

"Paint me the picture." I whisper.

"What?" He mumbles against my lips.

"Explain to me how you'd use that stuff?"

"We didn't really use it." He whispers.

"What?"

"Like it's been used once, most girls like- the control stuff once and then they just want normal sex."

"Do we have normal sex?" I whisper confused and he chuckles.

"Yes baby."

I look down at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But just-"

"Just with kinky undertones." He says amused and I smile, leaning in and pressing another kiss on his lips.

"We should get some." I say. "Stuff."

"Stuff?" He whispers, amused, tickling my back gently as I sit on his lap.

"Like the stuff you said."

"I suppose it would be good to be able to restrain you and still have both my hands."

"Yeah?" I say softly. "Why?"

He smirks. "Just things."

I lean my head down on his and I sigh. "Lue and I are going out tomorrow night, you wanna come?"

He looks surprised. "Huh?"

"Yeah I'll convince her to invite more people. Then I can go to therapy shit, then I could go shopping, you know... for us. As Friday is gonna be like the last night before we go home for the weekend."

He's rubbing my hips softly.

"Okay. So instead of just spending the whole evening here, under my bed sheets, you wanna go out...?"

I laugh at him, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I wanna go out, get a little drunk, then let you tie me up."

He chuckles and nods, closing his eyes and he leans his head against mine with tiredness.

"Okay then, plus celebrate my last exam."

"Exactly." I smile. "We don't have to be out long."

"We won't be if I can't touch you." He chuckles and I make a surprised sound because I forgot about that.

"It'll be good for us, practice for the weekend."

"Mm." He hums and I lift my finger to his chin and tilt it up, pressing a long kiss on his lips, moving them slowly with his.

"I'm going to go now." I whisper.

He doesn't fight me on it, just helps me move off him and he watches me as I get redressed. I slip his hoodie on, he shakes his head at me but doesn't complain verbally.

"Goodnight Leo."

His eyes and scary as he nods. "Night you, text me when you get in."

I nod.

Even though I live one floor up.

He makes me text him every time I leave.

And then we text until one of us falls asleep and stops replying.

It happens every time.

I leave quietly, even though I know it will be sneaking back into our apartment that's the difficult part.

I walk there tired, always so ready to get into bed.

What the hell do I buy?

I wanted to be like- here Leo this is what I got.

But what and where do I find things like that?

I could order them online.

But not for tomorrow.

I press the keys in, and I very quietly walk in to the flat, it was silent, Luella and T asleep.

It was gone two, so I wasn't surprised that they were asleep.

I just made my way quietly to bed, messaging August that I wasn't murdered.

I laugh and fall down onto my bed.

I'd shower tomorrow.

Right now sleep is needed.

I smile at how he double texted me.

Embarrassing I know.

I take off his jumper, my leggings and lie back down in bed.

....

I was sat at the kitchen island stressing. I needed to ask someone where I go, like in town, that has these things. I tried googling it, I just got confused and stressed with the amount of information.

I wanted to ask Luella, she'd know I am sure. I mean she showed off to me the new lingerie she brought the other day, I am sure somewhere like that, with the things she brought would have like sex toys.

I am blushing even thinking about it.

It's not embarrassing when I'm with him. In our little bubble. I feel so safe and like fine. But here I just feel awkward.

Plus obviously I couldn't tell Luella because of the obvious disapproval and well who else was there?

I could ask Trev.

Oh god imagine.

I could ask Leo but I want- I dunno- I want it to be more or a surprise. Like I succeeded in getting stuff, I don't know.

Victoria?

Oh goodness, no.

Kendall?

I can't.

I could ask Rayne!

Oh god no I can't, hey Rayne, where can I get bondage stuff for me to use with your brother.

You recon Leo would let me tie him up?

Focus Emmy.

"Why do you look constipated?" Luella sighs, breaking our silence and I let out a stressed laugh.

"Like seriously, I have tablets if you-"

"Luella I am sleeping with August."

She coughs on her spoon, looking down at her cereal shocked and then she lifts her eyes to mine, and I cover my face with my hands, waiting for the lecture.

She laughs. "Yes Emersyn I caught on."

My eyebrows raise and I slap my hands down. "You knew!?"

She laughs. "I mean yeah, I thought he was seeing someone else and then when T and I stay here, you're the one sneaking out so I put the dots together. Plus you're all in your head and day dreamy and I know that whimsical look on you, it spells the summer month of his name in big bright capital letters."

I am blushing.

Wow I am not as sneaky as I thought.

"Did T tell you?"

Her jaw drops. "T knows!?"

I pull a stressed face and shrug. "I think so I dunno, ask him or ask August, not me, I haven't-"

"God Emersyn calm down."

I laugh stressed and lower my head to her shoulder and she laughs, lifting a hand to pat my cheek.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Feel like we're past that stage." She says.

I look at her, pulling away and giving her a desperate look.

"Oh god, what is it?"

"Where do you shop for lingerie?" I whisper.

Her eyebrows shoot up. "Emmy emmy emmy..."

I hide my head in my arms. "We're just- having a sorta special night tonight and I want to show him, like I can look good and I want him to want me and I am not going to lie Luella I wanna buy some other stuff for us that I need your help with locating it all."

She bursts into laugher and she strokes my head condescendingly. "Bubba it's okay."

I look up at her in distress. "Don't call me the nickname my dad calls me when I just asked you to help me with sex stuff."

She laughs harder and I glare.