-

"Emersyn." Luella's disapproval was immediate as soon as I stepped in through the doors.

I looked at her, trying to gage what she knew.

I assume that as subtle as August thought he was being, by the sudden change from me shouting at him to us being quiet and then fucking playing music, Luella knew.

Or she just figured shit out from what other people were saying.

Or she just could tell by the dishevelled mess of me.

"I am tired Luella."

"I bet you are."

Yeah she knows.

I was stood at the door, she was sat on the couch, her bedroom door open and noise coming from it so I assumed Trev was in there. She has her arms crossed, unimpressed.

"What on earth are you-"

I dump my stuff down. "I have a headache." I interrupt. "I need to shower, can I just sleep and reschedule this ass kicking?"

She falls silent.

"You're sleeping with him." She states.

I pull a face. "No."

I've slept with him a few times. It's not an active verb. I am not- it was stopping. Now.

"So you didn't just-"

"Luella I am going to bed." I turn around, walking away from her and she follows.

I sigh in annoyance.

"I am just concerned-"

"I really need to just- look I feel rough, I just need to sleep. I will talk to you about this tomorrow."

"Are you okay?" She says, following me into the bathroom and I start to undress, I can feel her eyes on me, her suspicions obviously fucking confirmed, but she just perches on the toilet seat.

"I feel gross. Think I'm still hungover."

"You might wanna pee."

I look at her.

"Yanoe to help UTI prevention."

I just pull a face at her and wrap a towel around me, to then undress properly.

"You want me get you some water?" She asks.

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"Feel like being nice. I'll kick your ass and his tomorrow."

"Mm." I hum, then turn towards the mirror. I looked a mess. I just did.

"Water Emersyn? Or like some juice? Medicine?"

I just shrug. "I just need to clean and sleep."

I reach and turn the shower on and Luella nods. "Okay I'll leave you. Tell me if you need anything? I'll put some water by your bed."

"Okay." I say softly. "Love you."

"yeah, yeah." She says and she squeezes my arm as she pasts me, just lightly. "I will be in your bed promptly tomorrow morning and we will be having words."

I smile a little and she steps out of my bathroom, walking out of my bedroom too as I shut the door.

Then I clean, and well, it wasn't until the morning after that the fever properly hit. I thought it was just a continuation of the hangover, but then the aches started, the headache was worse, my throat incredibly painful.

I knew I was sick. I had classes as well. And as much as I tried to will myself out of bed, I ended up going to sleep for the rest of the day. Literally. The whole of Monday I slept, I woke up at ten that evening with Luella looking at me concerned.

"You scared me." I whisper, my throat hoarse. I was coughing now as well, utterly taken by this cold.

Sad.

I felt fucking awful in this second.

"You sick sick." She says. "I tried to wake you up this morning, but you were out of it."

I cuddle into the comforters more, reaching for my bottle of water I've been nursing all night. And day. It's been like twenty-four hours now since I showered and went to bed.

"Here." She says and hands me it, then she takes a step back from me.

I sit up, trying to unscrew it and as soon as I take a sip, I start coughing.

It hurts, god.

"Em." Lue says almost stressed. "You are really sick."

"Yeah." I croak, taking a better sip.

"Have you gotten out of bed today?"

I shake my head.

"Have you eaten?"

"No." I say.

"I'll make you some soup."

"It's bed time." I whisper, lying back down and she shakes her head at me.

"Nope, not for you."

Luella flicks my main light on and I close my eyes, my headache intensifying.

She says sorry but something about keeping me awake.

But to be honest, I am asleep by the time she gets back.

She comes back with some soup and forces me to wake up. Awake and now sad, I shake my head at her.

"My throat hurts."

"And so the soup with sooth."

"No." I pout.

She doesn't care, she comes and makes me sit up. "If you get me sick I will murder you."

Ha.

"You don't need to help me." I say.

"I'll just let you die then." Luella mutters.

I have a cold.

That flu maybe, that was going around.

I haven't been feeling like a hundred percent for a couple of days.

Today it obviously hit.

I hope I gave August this. God I am so mean when I am ill. I don't cope well.

"Here." Luella says, giving me the bowl of soup and honestly, I gather it was some vegetable tin thing and I just look down at it's brown murkiness with distress.

She hands me a spoon.

I take it but there is no way.

"Emersyn you've had zero calories today."

I flinch.

Like at her tone and just that word.

"I'm sick." I mutter.

"And you need to eat."

She sits down on my bed properly, pulling her legs under her. "I have an exam coming Emmy, I really can't get sick."

"I'll be okay by tomorrow."

"Mm." She hums. "You could go home-'

I feel my eyebrows crease, upset. Why is she trying to get me-

"That's not very nice." I mumble.

"I didn't mean it like that." She says. "Have you got a temperature?" Luella asks me and I shake my head and start with one spoonful of soup.

I can't even really taste it, but it does feel soothing on my throat, the heat. So I carry on eating it for a little bit.

I start sweating though, getting too hot and I hand the bowl back to Luella, she holds it, I take off my top, leaving me in a small vest.

"We should take your temperature." Luella says. "Do we even have a thermometer?"

I shrug and I don't take the bowl back, but I lay back down. I was hot. But the thought of pushing the blankets away was exhausting.

"You ate like half, if that." She says, frowning.

I can feel it.

Oh god.

I start sitting up and I look at her distressed.

"What-"

I push the covers away and when I say I rush to the bathroom, I mean I stumble, my head piecing me in retaliation for moving so much.

I fall to my knees by the toilet and I lose my soup.

Ha. Guess there's no point of trying with food.

I admit, I am upset. Being sick always makes me teary, like I feel like that's a thing, right? A natural body reaction.

Luella is concerned behind me.

"Em." She says. "I might get T. He is better at telling when someone's sick and stuff- like-"

"Don't." I choke, laying my head down on the seat.

"Em." Luella sighs. "You should have told me you were sick earlier."

"I just wanna sleep." I mumble, closing my eyes.

"No. You need medicine and you need fluids and-"

I sigh. Pretend to be okay and then we'll survive.

I start to get up, she comes to help me and I shakily walk back to my bed.

I fall into the covers and she goes to grab me something more to drink and some paracetamol to lower my temperature if it was high. I don't fight sleep when it comes. At all. I just let myself fall asleep and thank the lords, but Luella doesn't wake me up again.

....

It was still bad in the morning, Lue woke me up with a thermometer she borrowed off our neighbours, the flat next to us are just two girls, they're pretty nice. Very quiet.

But apparently, they had one so yeah, I was forced to take my temperature, which was high but nothing scary. And then I was fed medicine and she was then on her way.

I have managed to email my lecturer's telling them I am sick. They've just sent me the resources to complete the work at home.

There's no way I can do that right now, but I can just work through it later, it's okay.

I was not going through my phone, cringing.

I had missed messages. One's from Tate, they're asking me where I was and that they missed me. I told them I was sick and that I was sorry.

The medicine Luella gave me was making me feel a little better, so it didn't hurt to look at my phone like it did yesterday.

I had another message from Rayne. He was sending me suggestive emojis. I don't have the energy. So I ignore him.

My mum had text me, asking me to call her when I am free.

So I look at August's message quickly and then plan to call her.

However, August text made me pause.

I frown at the message. And?

I understand I replied a few hours late. Like more than thirty hours late...

Oh well.

I call my mum.

"Hey beautiful." My mum says.

"Hi." My throat is scratchy, I didn't realise how bad it sounded until I spoke just then.

"Oh no." She says.

I breathe a laugh. "I am sick."

"You sound it baby, what's wrong?"

"Just like my throat and head and things."

"How long have you been sick for?"

"Just a couple of days I-"

"Emmy you tell us if you are sick- I know you've moved out but you're still-"

"I have been out of it. This is me telling you."

She mutters a curse and I hear my dad ask what's wrong.

I frown at that. Why are they together? It's a weekday.

"She's sick." Mum says. "She sounds poorly."

"She's old enough to survive a cold Nove." My dad chuckles and I frown because I was totally going to ask one of them to come and give me some love but right, okay, father.

"You're going on speaker." My mum says.

I hear now that they are in the car.

"Where are you going?" I ask, my throat protesting. It hurts to talk.

"Your mumma and I are going on a romantic weekend."

"It's the middle of the week." I whisper.

My mum laughs softly. "Your father is saying we need to be more spontaneous now that our one child has left the nest. I am saying we turn and go rescue our one child from sickness."

"November." My dad groans.

"Wow Dadda, thanks for the love."

"Oh God she is sick, haven't called me that it years." He chuckles and I smile, lying back down in the bed and closing my eyes.

"Emersyn do you need us to come back?" He asks and I hum a no.

"Nah. I'll survive. Just wanted to hear your voices."

"Okay baby." My mum says. "You need to make sure you keep a watch of your temperature, It always gets dangerously high with these things. And if you get really sick tell us, we'll come back."

"I'll be fine." I say. "Have a good weekend." I say.

My dad chuckles. "Now she's the one saying hang up."

I swallow, my throat feels knifing. It just hurts to talk to be honest.

"Well good night guys." I say.

"It's midday but goodnight baby." My mum laughs. "I'll text Lue to make sure you're alive if you don't reply to me so make sure you reply."

I just hum an okay and we say goodbye.

I hated being ill. Like it for real frustrates me.

August had replied.

I try to roll my eyes but it's more of a pathetic flutter of eyelid.

Ha. Or something.

.

August doesn't reply and so I reach over to my book and I lift it, I needed to have read this by next week. There's no way. I stare at the words on the page and I can already feel the headache returning hard. I let the book fall into my bed and I hear my phone bing.

My limbs felt so heavy today.

I honestly can't be bothered to respond to that, so I push my phone away and lie back down.

I don't need to prove to him that I am sick.

I feel so shit, whatever.

I sleep for a little bit and then when Luella gets back I go and attempt to have something to eat. That doesn't work very well as it ends up with me bath in the bathroom, my head in the toilet and Luella again, concerned behind me.

"Have you been able to keep anything down today?"

"Just water." I whisper, rubbing my face with exhaustion.

"God Em, okay, come on, back into bed. Rest."

"Yeah, yeah." I say, taking her hand and she helps me up and we walk back into my room. It's fucking freezing in here.

"Can you put the heating on?" I chatter, falling down into the covers and pulling them to cocoon me in warmth.

"It's already on." She says softly. "We should take your temperature again."

I shake my head, closing my eyes. My stomach hurts, so bad. My body- am I sweating now?

Goodness.

"Okay well I'm going to take the day to revise here tomorrow anyway." Luella says and she reaches for her hand sanitiser. She's fully trying not to get sick.

"I'm just going to nap." I say, holding myself tightly.

"Let's take your temperature." Luella says and she reaches for it on the nightstand, she messes with the buttons and then tells me to open my mouth. I am so fucking cold, she made me remove the covers from behind pulled up right under my eyes and now I am in distress.

The drama.

I need to chill out.

Ha. Literally because it's quite warm now.

I must have a fever.

The thingy beeps between my lips and Luella takes it out, reading the numbers.

"Okay so yeah, you have a temperature."

"High?" I ask.

"Yeah, high enough to be considered too high." She says. "When was the last time you took medicine?"

"Like a couple of hours ago." I say, looking at the numbers and frowning too.

I felt a little better then.

"Right you need not to- overheat." She says and pulls the duvet off me, replacing it with my much thinner blanket.

Which just made me shiver more.

I just go back to sleep, deciding I feel better when I'm unconscious.

Luella wakes me up a couple of hours later to take more medicine and I honestly wanted to yeet her out the window. I would have if I had the energy.

It kinda goes on like this for the next couple of days.

Luella has her exam on Friday this week, and she's decided to take the week here to revise. Which I think is mainly because she was worried about me. Which she didn't have to be. I was getting better.

Sort of.

I um, I kept down some soup today.

With great difficulty.

It was Thursday evening somehow and I was feeling particularly rough. I wasn't going to lie I felt awful.

I wanted company and I knew Lue was in the front from so I was willing myself to get up and go to her.

Sometimes when you're sick you just want to be around people. Like I want a hug. But I cant get one I know because I am sick and she doesn't wanna get sick. So the next best thing was to just be around her.

But yeah, so I was sat on the edge of the bed, my blanket wrapped around my shoulders and I was willing myself to stand.

But I was struggling.

My head hurt a lot today. Like worse than the other days, it's been like four days now, shouldn't it be going?

I stand, the room spins, I sit back down.

This was frustrating. It's probably because I haven't really eaten. Which is really bad for me seeing as I just got my calories back up to normal.

Great.

The room centres again and just before I can stand, I start coughing, it hurts my whole fucking body and I almost decide to give up to going to find Luella. But then I think about the hot honey and lemon drink she might offer me and I find the will to stand up.

And once steady, I wrap my blanket around me tighter and I head out, Luella was sat at the coffee table, like on our rug crossed legged, her books around her.

She looked up at me. "I was just about to come and check you were still breathing." Luella laughs.

I smile and crash down on the couch, snuggling in and then looking at her.

"I feel bad."

She pouts at me. "Emersyn you are really sick."

"Yeah I know." I rasp. "This flu is bad, huh."

"Yeah." She says and she gets up, going to take my temperature again. I don't get why she does this, it goes up and down, it hasn't gotten like above 38 or 39 so-

Luella lays a hand on my head as she passes and I flinch away from her cold hands.

"I saw August today." She says.

I just frown.

"He asked me to get you to come down, or to text him. I said that you were sick. He wasn't impressed."

"He's annoyed that I'm sick?" I ask.

"Nah- I dunno. He's hard to read."

"Oh." I say, closing my eyes.

She comes and makes me open my mouth for the thermometer.

I just do what I'm told. "Do you feel warm?" She asks, pressing her cold hand against my forehead again, then my cheek.

"No."

"Cold?"

"Meh." I mumble. The thermometer beeps and I take it out to read it. 39.4C. That's a little high.

"That is so high Em."

I roll my eyes behind my eye lids, I open them and see her face above mine.

I smile. "You pretty."

She looks concerned.

"I know I am pretty. You have a really high temperature."

"It'll go down, shh, carry on working I just wanted to be near you."

She sighs and goes into her room, which makes me feel really sad because I literally just came out here to be with her- oh she's back.

"Here." Luella says, crouching by me and she puts a wet cloth on my head. I whine at the fact it's stone fucking cold.

"Em that was with warmish water." She says. "You need to cool down."

I just let it stay and she goes back to studying.

"What ya learning about?" I ask.

"Humanism." She says.

"Can you tell me about it?" I ask.

And she does. I try to listen to her go on about the hierarchy of needs and stuff, the name Maslow is thrown about and to be very honest I just wanted to sleep to the sound of her voice.

Fever dreams are strange.

Really strange.

They never make any sense.

But you wake up every disorientated.

Or at least I did.

Luella was still sat at the coffee table, I reach for the water she had gotten me.

Lue looks up. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Honestly, I feel really bad.

I say that I am okay and drink some water, not lifting my head up and just being glad it was a water bottle.

She watches me. "You're very pale."

I feel sick.

To be very honest.

I feel scary sick.

I go to sit up. As in I will my legs and arms to help me move up but they just- are uncooperative. I literally feel weak from the inside out.

I look at her. "Lue." I whisper, I feel so pathetic. God.

"What's wrong?"

I don't even wanna talk. "Can you help me up?"

"Yeah of course." She stands up and she starts to pull me up and I tell her to stop immediately.

"I feel sick."

"Okay let's get you to the bathroom." She says.