"You can't go home. I will get murdered, come on, let's go to mine and we'll get you warmed up and probably showered and-"

"No."

"Emersyn."

"No I need to go home!"

"Em please."

"Did you just say please?"

He is so cute.

"Yes I said please."

August's arm was around my waist, trying to pull me away from my house and get me to carry on walking towards his. I wanted home. And my mum. And I wanted my bed.

"You wanna come in?" I ask squirming away from his touch.

"No baby, your dad is going to kill me. You need to come with me-"

"No. And you don't care about dad normally. You kissed me in front of him earlier and you-"

"Yes but..." His eyes scan me.

I assume I am a mess.

"Em you-"

I escape his hands and I sprint to my front door, like I make it, well I fall but I make it to the front door, banging against it and sliding down it.

August hisses my name, trying to get me to come to him.

Why he so freaked?

I need home.

I lift my hand up, knocking against the door and August presses his fingers to his temple stressed.

"Emersyn come."

"No." I shout, shaking my head and knocking on the door more. "I have a wedding to attend and I promised my mum I be home and Rayne coming t-morrow and-"

The door swings open, my dad in his sleep clothes, looking very confused down at me and I turn around to say goodbye to August but it seems as if he's already gone.

"Daddy hey." I smile, looking up. "I fell."

"Emersyn." He says shocked, bending down and collecting my arms to haul my ass up.

My limbs aren't working, my legs, yeah nope.

"It's Em Nove." My dad calls up the stairs.

"Mm so cold-d-d-d." I shudder. "My robe was fluffy and warm and-"

"And now you're drenched head to toe." He mutters. "Nova it's okay we got her."

"Mm you have me." I smile, closing my eyes and I am placed down on our sofa, sat upright despite my need to sleep and relax down.

"Ima probably be sick." I share. "Just fyi."

"Look she's dead weight, I wanna keep her sat up so can you get like a dress or something to pull over her and then a blanket and then we'll figure it out from there.

Why does this feel like I am under a black tablecloth?

I open my eyes and suddenly my dad's face is below mine, crouched down in front of me, his eyes concerned searching mine.

"How'd I get here then." I giggle, reaching for his cheek. "Love you lots."

"I love you too." He says and my mum comes, holding things and she sits down besides me, feeling my cheek, my skin.

"She's so cold."

"We jumped in a pool."

"Where is he now?" My dad's voice is harsh.

I just smile and shrug. "Think he went home."

He sighs and then my mum starts to untie my robe, my dad stands. "Coffee?"

"Yeah." Mum says quietly and then she pauses. "Wait no, no caffeine. What else sobers?"

"Water?"

I shiver. "No cold."

"Tea." My dad shrugs. "Caffeine? It's not too bad."

"Ok." She says and my mum pulls the damp cold robe off me.

"You still have your dress on, at least there's that." She mumbles. "Where are your shoes?"

"Pool." I mumble. "I have no underwear on please don't-"

My mum sighs a little but she wraps me in a towel and as I slump against her shoulder and close my eyes she undresses me. I guess it's necessary. She gets me changed, I just ignore it and feel how tired I am, I am so tired, my head heads so heavy wow.

My mum pulls another of my night shirts over my head and I am wrapped up a banket.

I just fall against her, and somehow, I end up my head in her lap, her stroking her things through my matted hair.

I am very drunk.

"Emersyn this isn't okay." She whispers. "You have bruises. Your hips, your thighs. This isn't okay."

Bruises?

He just has a firm grip.

I bruise easily.

"But I love him." I mumble and my dad walks back into to room, a straw in his hand and he crouches down again by my head and he lets me suck some warm tea up and into my mouth.

"Em, if you are going to be sick. Tell me first." He says

"I'll try." I mumble.

"Colton she just said she loves him." My mum said, looking directly at my dad and I decide this level of comfort is unlike anything I have felt in so long, like for real, this hug is good, I turn around and I press my face into my mum's jumper, breathing her in and my mum just places her hand on my back.

"Don't look so freaked out Nove, she's a teenage girl. Teenage girls fall in love pretty easily."

"Don't rationalise this, it's not okay."

"Love she's just really drunk."

"She has hand marks Cole, she's not just really drunk."

"Calm down."

"Please don't tell me to calm down right now."

Oh god.

If I sleep then they can't argue.

Well they can argue but I won't know because I will be asleep.

I am going to be sick.

I pull myself up and look at my dad and he reads the situation and well then I am leant over the sofa, head in a bucket and my mum's rubbing my back as I am sick.

"Do yous hate me?" I gasp out.

"No." is the collective. But they sound unsure.

I don't even know why I am being sick right now I don't feel sick.

Shit I ate so much, I don't want to lose it.

I push the bucket away angrily and my day makes a little woah noise.

Woah.

Hehe.

God.

"I ate so much food." I tell them, wrapping the blanket around my tighter.

"Emersyn." My dad is serious. "Tell me about the bruises."

I pull a face at him.

That's a little intrusive isn't it. No dad.

"I had black truffle rice no like risotto you know?"

They just look very frustrated with me. They are both very pretty people.

"I resent you for telling me people are born with arty skin because I really wish they were."

"Emersyn focus. Please tell me why you have bruises, or I will have to go and ask our friend Leo for a explanation. And I won't ask as nicely as I am right now."

I just look at him confused. "Well, I don't know where Leo is."

"Well you left with him so I assume-"

A small smile creeps onto my face as I think about our evening. "He proposed to me."

My parent's heads snap to exchange a look.

"Pardon?"

"And my bruises are because I bruise too easily and because I keep being sick-" I gesture to the bucket in annoyance. "We ate so much tonight and I was so proud and now I've lost it all."

"Baby you were only sick liquids you're fine."

"No dad, it's so annoying. And the other day, Claire. She puts pills in her drinks and I didn't know so I was just happily drinking her drink. It was so bad."

"Wait what happened?" My mum says and I look at her.

"August proposed to me, he stood up on a table and all the posh people looked and it was so funny."

I lift my hand. "But no ring of course because the lady had to believe it."

"I am lost." My dad says. "She's clearly not fucking marrying him."

"She just said she loves him." My mum stresses.

"Yes Nove but like that's what young people do. Especially Emmy, you see the way she looks at him. She could love a rock if we told her it needed it."

"Cole." My mum sighs and I just close my eyes, I am sat, cross legged on the sofa.

My dad presses his hand to my face and my eyes sorta open.

"Mm?"

"Em bruises."

"He just has a strong grip."

My mum's breath is shaky and I just- how do I tell them it's fine?

"Love, can you go clean this out?" My dad says, asking my mum to leave and mum does.

"Emersyn, I know this is awkward but your mum can't listen to this so I need you to tell me what you mean by strong grip."

"It's private." I say confused. "He's not hurting me."

"He's just rough." My dad clarifies.

"This is a very intrusive situation. I am too drunk for you to be asking me-"

"Has he ever touched you in a way that was not affectionate Emersyn."

I pull a face, squirming. I am drunk but for some reason I can still feel the disgusting sheer cringyness of this situation.

"He's never affectionate, he's leo."

"Em." My dad stresses, his hands either side of my cheeks. "I know Leo too, please explain this."

I just shrug. "He pushed me once."

"He never even apologised." I pout. "But the other things are him just being all powerful. He is going to be gentler so-"

"Emersyn you're not seeing this boy anymore."

I open my eyes properly.

"I am not some whore."

My dad's eyes widen and my mum comes back in with a clean bucket.

"I feel like you two think I'm a slut. I never slept with Rayne or Peter."

My mum throws an angry look at my dad. "What did you say to her?"

"I don't know, I said she can't keep seeing August and she just replies with this."

"I haven't even slept with August. Which to be fair isn't something you should congratulate me on, I would if he let me."

My dad looks very uncomfortable.

"I am just saying I am not this femme fatale figure everyone pictures me. Yes Rayne is coming tomorrow but he's my best friend and I would wanna go with Leo but he doesn't want to come and also now you two hate him."

Mum just rubs her eyes.

It's late.

"We broke into a hotel today."

My dad's jaw drops a little and my mum just sighs.

"Huh?"

"We ran along the corridors and I broke up this couple so we could get their room key and we drank everything out of the mini fridge and we ordered room service, poor guy, and we danced and people played piano for us and we went swimming and-"

"Emersyn what are you talking about?"

"Our date." I mumble confused. "August won't have sex with me."

"You're sharing a lot." My mum says quietly.

I look at her annoyed. "Yes because I am trying to prove to you that I am fine."

"You are not fine, none of what you said just spelled out fine."

I pull a face and my hand wraps around my dodgy feeling stomach.

I can feel my eyes stinging.

"But I am fine."

"No baby, explain what happened with the drugs?"

"What drugs." I exclaim. "We drank wine tonight, and then champagne because August proposed and then the little spirit bottles, but I didn't touch drugs tonight."

"What about other nights?"

"No." I say in annoyance and a tear rolls down my cheek, this feels like a weird rock bottom situation but damn it tonight felt so wholesome.

"Claire's drink? Claire right or did she say Blair?"

"I don't know Nove."

"She roofied me." I laugh. "It was funny, it was an accident."

"Em-er-syn." My mum stresses.

"August stayed with me as I was poorly, it's okay."

"It's not okay." My dad says and looks at mum. "This isn't ok right?"

Mum shakes her head. "But I think we just need her to get away from August, I think then she can see things clearer and-"

I pull a face. "August isn't involved in this- it's my ideas usually."

"Yes but other people would tell you no, August isn't okay himself right now so he probably is encouraging the hypomanic behaviours."

He isn't encouraging them.

Well maybe.

Tears.

"Yous just want me to not be okay, you're probably loving this."

"Emersyn we are not loving this." My mum says harshly, and I feel the sheer distress take over my cheeks and my eyes and my mouth forms that utterly distraught frown.

"If I am that much of a burden why don't you just let me sleep!"

"Because you'd choke on your own vomit." My mum mutters and I let out a sob.

My dad's hands are on my face immediately and my mum is just staring at the floor, she's thinking.

"Baby you aren't a burden." He tells me.

"Well clearly-"

"No we are just trying to help you."

"I don't need help. I am just drunk!"

"Drunk is okay." My dad says. "Soaking wet, cold, covered in bruises, no shoes, stories of utter chaos and also vomiting into a bucket is why we are trying to help you."

"Well, it was fun." I mumble.

My dad laughs at that. "I am sure it was."

"Don't go beat up Leo. I love him."

"I'll determine how angry I am with him in the morning, when you can think straight."

I look at mum and then back at him. "She wants me to stop seeing him." I whisper.

"We'll talk about it in the morning."

"It's not your choice."

"I know." Is all dad says and he continues to wipe my face, and well my mum turns soft again when I lie on her, she is so angry with me, I can feel it radiating from her but as I lay on her lap she strokes my hair anyway.

I am not apologising for being a mess. I wanted to come home.

I guess maybe that was slightly self-destructive. To want to come home like this. Especially when if I had just gone with August, I know he would have just undressed me, dressed me again and then I would have passed out probably cuddled up to him.

But instead I wanted to come home and I think a small part of me wanted them to see me like this.

I just don't know why.

....

"Hi." I say softly.

My mum is already dressed up, looking beautiful and elegant and very busy and Rayne is stood next to her, dressed too and I am just out of the shower, fresh faced and slightly dead looking.

My mum nods at me.

Oh goodness.

"How mad are you on a scale of 1-10?"

She sighs. "I am not mad, I am busy and I want to talk about last night but Dylan is freaking out, the caterers are late and you aren't even dressed or ready and Emersyn we need to be out of here in half an hour."

I nod a little. "I am just here for medication."

Rayne snorts and he goes over to the medicine cupboard, getting me some painkillers.

My head man.

I am pretty sure I shared a lot of crap with my parents last night. I just remember being sick and being on mums lap and crying a lot.

I remember feeling like they didn't love me.

And I mean, I am hung over and emotional and she's not even looking at me so I must have really fucked something up.

Rayne looks good, at least there's that.

He gets me painkillers and some water and then he promises my mum that we'll be downstairs in twenty-five mins.

He drags me upstairs.

"My brother came into my room and collapsed on my bed last night, on top of me and then wouldn't shut up about your night."

"He did?" I ask a little absent-mindedly and Rayne snorts.

"He then passed out."

I don't remember him being that drunk.

I was just very drunk so I suppose anything would be better compared to me.

"What did my mum say to you?" I ask him as we enter into my room.

"Nothing just that you were up and showering."

"I was a mess when I got in." I tell him. "I am pretty sure I exclaimed that I was still a virgin."

"Oh god." He chuckles and then he raised an eyebrow at me. "You're still a virgin?"

I blink. "Did you think I wasn't?" I go to sit down on my bed and Rayne quickly prevents me.

"I guess I just assumed something. Don't worry. And stop trying to sit down, you need to get changed right now and you need to do your makeup as I blow dry your hair."

I smile. "I love you."

Rayne sniggers. "Yeah, well apparently you love a lot of people."

My eyes widen.

"What!"

"That's what he was muttering about." Rayne laughs and he opens my wardrobe looking for a dress. "What are you supposed to be wearing?"

"It's in a bag."

"Right got it." He says and I take a seat at my dressing table and take the tablets and I try and down as much of the water as possible.

God I feel so ill.

It's fine.

It's family.

Oh god I am going to have to see so many family members.

"August said last night about you telling him that you loved him."

"Oh god, like please God tell me I didn't."

"Well, he was saying some bullshit about how you said you meant as friends."

"Well, um duh." I say, cringing at myself.

I honestly hate myself a lot right now.

Like damn Em.

I will never drink again.

That will just fix all my problems.

"Arms up."

I look at Rayne confused, and he has my dress in his arms and I smile at him, dropping my robe a little and he helps me get dressed.

And then we don't talk too much, we rush around trying to get me ready and somehow not an hour later Rayne and I are sat, me sipping a bottle of water, because I am so not okay and Rayne is trying to help me keep this awful hang over to myself.

Mum is rushing around, my nanny Shelia is helping, bossing people like my dad and my grandad around. It was a garden wedding, a few miles out of town. Uncle Dylan doesn't even live here, he lives hours away but when he and his husband to be were visiting once they stumbled on these beautiful gardens and apparently Liam fell in love with it.

So they wanted to be married here.

Like Liam says it was here he realised no matter how annoying my uncle was, how much hard work or how many arguments they were going to have, that he realised he would love him forever, like he realised it here.

I think it's so romantic.

People/ family members were arriving and Rayne and I were just sat on some chairs, happily keeping to ourselves as others sort of exchanged greetings. I will talk to everyone after the ceremony, I should be alive again by then.

"God Rayne, I feel so sick."

"You're fine." He reassures me and lifts the water up to get me to drink. "At least you look good right?"

"Why did I drink so much? Why didn't I think 'Em you have to be totally not hungover tomorrow' why did I-"

There comes a mocked gasp from behind me and my mum's friend Sage is stood there looking heavily amused. "Please tell me my little Emmy is not hungover."

"She is deadly hungover." My dad says coming in from the side and he smiles at her, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. "How are you?"

"I am good." She laughs and she gives me a quick grin. "You look like your mum more every day."

I smile a little at that. My dad however is not impressed. "I think she looks a little like me, like she's not as pale and-"

"Dad." I laugh.

He just gives me a smile. "Hi you."

I hadn't really seen much of him today. It was about one in the afternoon now and people were slowly starting to sit down, and mum had hauled Rayne and my ass up to the front seats because apparently that's where we were supposed to me sitting and well yeah, as everyone settled, I just leant my head against Rayne's shoulder.

My dad was sat beside Rayne and well I think dad has caught on to how sick I felt, so he was watching me hesitantly. Mum was stood at the front right now, just greeting and like talking to everyone.

Liam was my mum's friend, Dylan met him at my parents wedding and apparently, they have been off and on since then.