❤️

My nose hurt.

Like damn you Luella.

It was that or my nipples and I wasn't ready for that. So yeah, earlier this afternoon we went to this shop, they bleached her hair for what- the a hundredth time and I got a nose piercing.

It looks super ass cute but honestly it was expensive. Like all they do is put a whole in your face? Why does it cost so much money bro?

We were walking in the streets now, just going up and down the city. Luella was- well she was slightly chaotic right now. A ball of recklessness.

Which was hard to keep up with, but I was trying.

"We are gonna quickly pop to the station." Luella says, dragging me by the hand down this street that leads directly to the train station.

"Why?" I ask in amusement and she throws a grin at me.

"One of Trev's mates are there."

"And?" I ask carefully.

"And I need a party favour."

"Lue." I frown, it had just gotten dark and we were about to head into a pub to get some drinks, but I guess she wanted something stronger.

"I need to get my head cleared of this shit Em. Come on, it's my night. Party with me?"

"What are we getting?" I ask and then I cringe when as we walk hand in hand towards the station, I realise we aren't going to the actual station, no, instead the four cars with people standing around them, laughing, drinking, doing god knows what, is where we are actually heading.

I was buzzed, her chaotic energy making my own escape me. So yeah I was buzzed, I was, but this felt stupid.

"Luella." I say and she gives me a squeeze.

"Don't worry. It's a mate.'

"Mm." I hum and then Lue calls out someone's name.

"Lock!" She shouts and literally all of them turn to us, we get closer and a guy, steps out from being sat in the car.

She drops my hand and I watch shocked as she hugged him tightly, his hands lingering and I literally want to pull her back.

"Who's your friend El?" He asks, staring at me.

El? I guess LuELla.

'Lock' was intimidating. He was tall, dark, I didn't make eye contact. Call me a pussy I don't care.

"This is Em, we are just here to pick up. I text you?"

"Mhm." He hums. "Where's your boyfriend?" Lock asks.

"Lochlan." Lue smiles, as if that wasn't a painful subject. "You mean Trev right?"

"Yep. You know, he already came and got gear today. This just for you and your little lady?" He asks.

A guy to my right coughed a little trying to get my attention and I flicked my eyes up from the floor, he was sat on the bonet of his car, a girl to his right and they both sent me a pretty kind smile.

"You have any change for a fifty?" He asks me.

I raise and eyebrow, shaking my head.

Huh?

'No sorry."

"No worries sweet." The girl smiles. "Here you want a drag?" She looks amused as she holds up the joint in her hands.

I shake my head.

"Not a smoker?" The guy asks amused.

"Look at her, obviously not." Another guy says, making me spin around to him. "Although, maybe not-"

I look at Luella and my eyes widen when she's leaning on the guys knees, talking to him as he counts something.

"Me and T aren't actually together." I hear her say.

"You don't smoke?" The girl asks again and I turn to her even though I felt the need to grab Luella and run.

"I do. Just a germ freak." I smile tightly, turning back to Luella.

"You can have your own." The girl laughs and I just sigh, walking to Lue.

"Come on Luella." I say gently. "We have plans remember?"

"Mm." Lue smiles at me and looks back down at Lock, who of which is looking directly at me. "You look awfully clean." He says to me and I just blink at him. "I don't mean hygiene." He chuckles. His hands grab my wrist and he turns my arm so it is open to him.

"Huh. No shoot up tracks. Interesting."

I pull my hand away. "Yeah so interesting. Come on Luella." I tug at her hand a little and she just laughs at me.

"Chill." She whispers. "Locky..."

"You need to pay Lue." He says immeditaly and she laughs, fishing him out a few notes and they make a quick exchange. A bag of like four pills going into her purse at the handover.

"I was going to say that I could pay you properly, yanoe, in a few days, we could go out for dinner." She says and he looks so amused.

"Are you asking me out?"

Yes. Lue. What the fuck?

"Just payment, for the fact I know I owe you some money."

He smirks. "I Don't do sex as payment sweetheart."

"Who said anything about sex?" She asks, amused, her voice sultry and I call it time to fucking leave.

"Okay." I say, grabbing her fingers tightly. "Nice to meet you Lock- or whatever your name is. Come on Luella."

Lock laughs, waving to us as I pull her away and they shout a few things after us, amusement heavy in their tones.

"Okay Luella what the hell was that?" I ask.

She shrugs and she pops out a pill, not even hesitating to swallow it.

"God Luella, what did you just take? I thought you were with Trev- why flirt with that guy?"

"I am not with Trev Emersyn. Fuck. Just I wanted to okay? I feel like- I just-." She was agitated, glaring at me and as we turn the corner I sit down in protest.

"I am not going anywhere with you Luella until we talk about this shit."

She rolls her eyes at me and carries on walking. I just stare after her, the pavement cold under my legs. Luella storms away and then I watch as she groans very loudly and walks back to me.

"You cant stay here on your own. Get up."

"No. Sit down."

"No."

"Sit down." I say again and she slumps to the floor, both of us sat on the curb.

"I am so mad at everything Emersyn."

"I know." I say gently. "My nose hurts."

She splutters a laugh, inspecting it. "You look hot."

"Yeah it looks good. Now Luella. What did you just take?"

"Just molly. It's fine."

I don't know what the fuck that is.

"What is it?"

"Try it and find out." She grins and when I give her an unimpressed face she rolls her eyes.

"It's MDMA. Low dosage anyway. It just makes you happy, makes you love life. I feel like shit and I feel like going and dancing in a club with my bestfriend. I don't see why that's an issue?"

"It's not. You can do whatever." I say carefully. "But this little reckless theme you have going on, I will go with it Lue but don't pounce things on me. Let's deal with this together yeah?"

"So." She says. "I have twenty minutes before this is going to kick in." She takes out the other pills for her bag. "Want one?"

I shake my head. "How about you go crazy tonight and I'll just keep an eye."

"That is so boring. I want you to feel how good these make you feel."

"Luella." I sigh and she groans, lying back, her back against the concrete.

"Emersyn it's just Molly, it lasts like two hours. It will make dancing so much more fun."

"Lue- you don't seem like yourself." I say quietly. "You've never tried to pressure me into something before."

Her eyes narrow and I am waiting for her to snap at me. It never comes. Instead she just goes silent. "I really want Grey. All this week. I just missed him so much and God Em, it's been over a year now but the amount I miss him still lights my skin on fire."

"Oh Lue." I say gently.

"So yeah sometimes I want to get high and dance and do reckless things and sometimes I wanna do something reckless so I get Trev to stop feeling so much."

I frown at that. "Pardon?"

She looks at me. "Trev told me he loved me."

My eyes widen and she sits up.

"It wasn't a full like confession. It was a- i love you but he said he couldn't just say he loved me as a friend anymore. That it was more."

I nod slowly. "And this has made you wanna hook up with randoms?"

She smiles a little. "I cant love T when I love Grey so much still. And I cant even- I cant let it just happen because well- I cant survive anything else."

I nod a little. I have no idea how to help that. No idea.

"When did he say this?"

"When I was crying over those fucking pro-lifers."

"Oh." I say. "Ha. bet that helped with your stress levels."

"Don't." She laughs. "Can we please go party now?"

I shake my head. "I have a better idea."

"What?"

"Come on. Let's go fuck things up a little yeah?"

She shrugs and we both get up of the cold floor and I order us an uber. I got this.

....

Okay so when I decided to go to a twenty four hour hardware store, to grab us a few things, I may have forgotten that Luella would be really, really high.

God.

"I love you." She exclaims, trying to hug me and I nod, untangling myself from her arms. She goes to take her sunglasses off and I bat her hand away.

"Lue your pupils are not okay. Keep them on."

She giggles.

"Shit so what are we doing?" She asks, literally skipping next to me.

"Finding spray paint. Or wall chalk or something like that." I say. "And eggs. Finding eggs."

"I don't think they have chickens here." She tells me.

"I want eggs not chickens."

"But you have to have a chicken if you want an egg."

I blink. "No you don't."

"Yes." She laughs and then she tries to climb in the fucking trolly.

"Luella oh my-" Actually this way I don't need to worry about her running away from me.

Which has happened twice already.

"Okay let me help you." I tell her, holding the shopping cart still and holding her hand as she swings her legs over.

"Push me Emersyn."

"I am." I laugh, pushing her along.

"I love this song!" She exclaims and I listen carefully. They were playing old Take That music. A British boy band. Who are now in their forties or fifties.

She starts singing. Her voice loud against the very quiet store.

Oh goodness.

She doesn't give up, she just leans back, getting comfy and she sings. She sings all the way around the store, hugging in her lap the things I place there.

"Luella you wanna just go home?"

"No I wanna light fire."

Well we aren't doing that Lue.

"Oh god." I whisper, hushing her.

"Run Emersyn."

"Lue."

"Please please."

I pick up pace with the cart, laughing once we manage to find everything we needed. I picked this store because I knew it was near the clinic, that we could find everything we needed here. It even had a little grocery section.

E.g the eggs.

"Shit." I whisper after putting the eggs in Luella's lap.

Whom of which was still freaking singing by the way.

I looked down into the cart and it literally screamed vandalism. And Luella, utterly high as a kite, didn't help. We'd never get sold this.

"Lue." I whisper.

She doesn't respond, just reaches up behind her and I think she was trying to stroke my cheek. Her fully slaps it.

Wow.

"Jesus." I cry, bringing my hand up.

Molly or whatever the fuck she was on was hard to deal with.

She did look like she was having a good time though.

"Emersyn are we staying here or are we going to fuck things up?"

We could make a run for it. With her still in the trolly. If she's quiet.

"Luella. Do you trust me?"

Lue wouldn't even remember. It would like it never happened and my guilty conscience would be cleared.

"I trust you with my whole entire heart and soul."

Wow okay.

She's so loving.

"Okay I need you to shut the fuck up."

"What?" She asks and I shush her.

We could just walk straight out, act natural.

"Okay shush." I say and then head towards the entrance. Trying to act natural but as soon as the bloody doors come into sight Luella must have caught on because she screams.

She screams the word run.

Oh for fuck sake.

And so I leg it. My hands holding thr trolly as securely as I can and damn it, I mean I legged it, as in ran as fast as I possible could whilst pushing Luella hysterically laughing in the bloody trolly out of the shop and up the road, heading towards the clinic.

I hear the shouts after me.

I don't care, soon enough I am laughing along with Luella and she has turned around to look at me as I continue to jog.

"Emersyn why'd we just commit a robbery?"

"A robbery." I laugh. "Don't be dramatic. Don't tell you've never dabbled in shop lifting before?"

"I have. Have you?"

"Have now." I smile and Luella grins so brightly at me. And I know her happiness is chemical, fake, but the fact she is happy is making me smile just as brightly back at her.

Then her eyes widen, looking around as we near the clinic. The medical building is on our side of the road.

"Okay why the fuck?" She says, trying to stand and I gasp, steadying the cart and trying to help her out safely.

"I am not going back there."

"Luella." I say softly. "Look at that."

She turns around and we look at the brick wall opposite the clinic.

It was disgusting. Posters and big printed sighs were pinned up, no one here to defend them, instead at eleven at night they looked pathetic.

But their message was clear.

'Prochoice is wrong.'

"Lue." I say. "Let's correct the wall art yes?"

She looks at me wide eyed and then back at the cart. The cart that is filled with spray paint, thick chalk, and black paint.

"Oh my goodness." She mumbles. And then Luella grins.

And then for the next half an hour, Luella and I are singing, not worrying about drawing attention as we utterly deface their wall of shame.

Fuck them yanoe?

We Paint black over the massive shame quotes, Well lue does, I correct it with the chalk, writing little arguments against it. And I start to spray over the white bricks the main point of this.

'Pro-lifers are-"

I was going to write disgusting.

Luella took over.

The C word was big.

She didn't care.

"What the fuck do you two thing you are doing?"

Oh no.

I spin around and to my surprise I see a middle aged woman, glaring at us.

Luella giggles and carries on with the final letter and I give the woman a smile.

"Simply protesting."

"This is vandalism." She exclaims, looking our whole entire master piece.

"You girls-"

"We are protesting miss." I say in annoyance, turning back around.

"You think baby's should be murdered?"

"Oh." I say, turning around. "You're one of them."

"I am." She says, strongly. "You are destroying our work."

"Yes." I nod.

"You little whores."

My lips part and Luella turns around now.

"Pardon?" She asks, taking a dangerous step forward. "Is your name Karen by any chance?"

"I- What?" The woman says, her hair a mess, a pink dressing gown wrapped round her. "You two are so disgusting."

Luella narrows her eyes and I immeditaly try to go and calm her. And then well, admittedly I stop.

Go Lue. Express you anger.

"The likes of you are disgusting." Lue says, taking a step towards the trolly and she throws the can inside it. "You are assholes."

"We want to keep babies alive."

"They aren't babies!" Luella explains.

"They are god's-"

"Oh fuck this."

And then um, well, I planned the eggs for the wall. But lue had a different idea and she picked up an eggs and she threw it directly at the woman.

She missed.

But damn it she didn't stop.

"Lue." I exclaim, trying not to laugh at the screams of anger from the woman.

Jesus you cant throw eggs at people.

"I remember you. You walked in as if you were unashamed. It's disgusting. You are a murderer."

I stop trying to calm Lue.

Lue calms.

"You bitch." I spit. "Get out of here, go back to whatever fucking trash you came from."

"You have zero respect."

"No one respects old hags like you." I exclaim.

"You call us disgusting? You. Are. Sickening. Feminism? Ever heard of that. It's people like you-"

I hadn't realised I had been edging closer and closer to the woman as the angrier I got, I only realised my face was in hers when she lifted a hand and slapped me straight across the face.

And ive never been a violent person.

Or maybe the opportunity never presented itself.

Let's just say I fought back.

And then um....

....

"Miss Harrington your father is here to collect you."

Yep. Ha. Oopsies. Perfect daughter, arrested.

So was Luella.

Antisocial behaviour.

This is very funny. Not funny just ironic.

My face hurts, like the slap was hard.

It turns out before the woman had come out to confront us she had phoned the police. So when they arrived, to find me swinging at a middle ages woman in her fluffy dressing gown well I wasn't surprised I got chucked in the back of a police car. Luella couldn't stop laughing, the whole fucking ride.

They called her mum too. Her mum came as soon as she heard.

I think my dad waited a couple of hours to punish me.

I get walked out back into the reception/ booking area and my dad is stood by the door. His eyebrow raised at me.

I promise I tried not to smile, I tried to stay calm but fuck I think the adrenaline was still pumping through me.

He just stared at me.

"Her bloods?" My dad asks the officer.

"All clear."

Because I literally hadn't taken anything.

He nods and the officer leans across the desk to him. "Utterly sober Mr Harrington."

I smile a little proudly and my dad shakes his head at me, quickly, as if to say that it isn't good.

I stay silent and my dad fills out some paperwork.

He thanks them and then a strong hand is placed on my shoulder and I am lead out through the main entrance.

"Do you understand how lucky you are that the arresting officer shared your political views?For God sake Em."

"I am sorry okay. But damn it dad you would have wanted to knock out that lady too."

He sighs and nods towards his car. "Yes Emersyn but I wouldn't have fucking done it."

"I didn't knock her out." I mumble.

"It sounds as if you tried."

"I was just angry. I wasn't even drunk-"

"Emersyn if you were drunk or high then I would understand it." My dad says and he opens the car door for me and I get in. "Christ Em, are you okay?"

I look at him, my dad stood at the door crouched, looking at my face.

"Do I have a hand print? I feel like I do."

He sighs at me almost impressed tone and he slams my car door shut.

He walks around the car.

"Emersyn, explain to me-"

"Dad I was standing up for something I believe in. I was standing up for Luella."

He just shakes his head at me. "I am concerned why Lue's behaviour was explained as a biproduct of the drugs that she was on."

Oh he knows she took something then.

"Whereas yours? You just did it."

"Yeah I did." I mutter, strapping myself in as he reversed out of the car park.

"And why is it that Luella had to be high whereas you didn't? Is it because you are feeling high, but its not being created by an exterior substance Em?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"This isnt you." He tells me. "You don't vandalise and assault and Christ they said that you shop lifted?"

"Am I in trouble?" I ask and he shakes his head.