33

"Don't temp me- sorry." He smirks a little at my wide-eyed look. "Why'd you kiss Nas Em?"

"I just did." I say. "I was bored and wanted to do something a little reckless."

His eyes narrow at me but he then nods.

"Your turn to ask something."

I don't even have anything to ask him.

"Um. Why did you ask why I kissed Nas?"

He smirks a little at my question and I frown, looking straight at him.

"Pure curiosity. I have no idea why you do things."

"That's all?" I ask and he nods.

"What other reason did you think Emersyn?" August asks, his voice annoyingly entertained.

I shrug. "I wouldn't have asked if I knew the answer."

"That's a lie. You like to hear me verbalise things." Leo says amused. "Drink."

My lips part. "That's not the game."

"Change in rules, every time we spot a lie the liar has to drink."

I just lift the bottle to my lips and I take a sip. I think my throats just fully used to the taste now. I don't wince.

"What was Nia saying to you?" August asks. "Before I decided to come and rescue you."

"You didn't rescue me." I roll my eyes and I sit up properly, copying his cross-legged position.

"Oh so you were happy enough with her hand edging between your legs?" He asks, one of his stupid eyebrows raised at me.

"Maybe I was."

He chuckles. "You looked like you were gonna faint."

"I look like that when you talk to me too, doesn't mean I wanna be rescued."

Shit Emersyn Damn it.

Distance not-

I sigh and he smirks a little. "Answer my question."

"She said I wasn't your type. That she thought we were seeing each other, I think she thought you wanted to sleep with us... like um... together."

August chuckles and unscrews the lid of the dark rum he brought and he takes a sip, I think he just wanted a shot.

"Ok." He nods. "So she was confused."

I nod a little. "Apparently so."

He gestures for me to ask and I just sigh a little. "What did she whisper in your ear?"

His eyes dart between mine and then he exhales a laugh through his nose. "She asked if I share."

"Huh?" I breathe.

"She was asking me- just more- vividly- for the threesome." He answers. "She's attracted to you."

"Oh." I whisper.

He just watches me amused. "Obviously she's attracted to you Emersyn."

"Huh?" I repeat and he rolls his eyes at me moving on.

"Are you still messing around with my brother?"

"No. What did you mean by obviously August?"

He unscrews the lid and takes a scarily large gulp. We are drinking pure spirits.

We are going to die.

Also.

"Does that mean you won't tell me?"

"Well done you understand the rules." He mocks.

I wanna lay down. So much.

No.

"Why do you sleep in his bed if you aren't with him Emersyn?"

I look down to my lap, trying not to smirk at the question. I just- the fact he asked, the fact he thinks about it. Makes me unnecessarily happy.

"Because we are friends." I say. "Wait Rayne yeah?"

His eyes widen a little. "Who else's bed are you sleeping in?"

I throw August an amused look. "Yours?"

He lets our a pained sigh. "You should most defiantly not be sleeping in my bed."

"I was merely referring to our nap the other day."

"Shut up and ask a question."

"Why did you want to play this stupid ass game?" I ask him and Leo laughs and he takes a sip. But he answers anyway.

"Because you spew so much bullshit Emersyn I never know when you are serious or not. This is me forcing a serious conversation."

"This is asking back and forths, not a conversation."

"It's better controlled like this." He tells me and I just sigh in annoyance.

"I don't spew bullshit." I whisper and he turns and gives me a look. "Well anyway I am stopping." I tell him.

"Stopping?"

"Yeah."

"Stopping what?"

"The flirting. We are now platonic friends okay?" I tell him and he cocks his head a little.

"When weren't we platonic friends Em?"

I scowl at him. He was trying to embarrass me. "Probably the many times I've felt you hard-on under me August."

His jaw drops a little and then he laughs, like not a breath of amusement he laughs and he widens his own eyes I think at the unfamiliar noise. I know I do. Fuck.

"I suppose there is that." He breathes, rubbing his hands over his face and then he looks up, meeting my eyes again.

"Why?"

I swallow. "Why what?"

"Why are you stopping?"

"Is that your question?" I whisper and he gives me a singular nod and so I reach forward and take the rum out of his hand, lifting it to my lips and I take a sip, a gulp.

I couldn't explain: the fake relationship aspect of Rayne and I's friendship was stressing you out Leo so I decided to give it a rest.

"Well." He mumbles and he moves closer to me, edging forwards so our knees were almost pressed together and he reaches for the bottle again.

I hand it back, his hand lingers, and I shake my head and he lets it go.

Fuck my heart can't cope at his touch.

I realised right, here we were in his room, getting drunk, or well fucking drunker and well that's a recipe for disaster wasn't it? When I am drunk, I am too friendly, too flirty and when August is drunk so is he. We've survived those interactions because either one of us have been sober at the time.

Oh goodness. I can literally feel it. The drunken pull. The energy that's between us as I just look at him.

Good God.

"Your turn." He says, nodding a little and somehow, we are sat very close, like his legs are pressed against mine, skin on skin, my heart rate unnecessarily high, his probably fucking steady.

"How often in a week do you hook up with Nia?"

"With Nia?" He asks, his voice amused.

"Or Dena or whoever else it is."

His arms come forward and he leans into me a little, and I just lean back, watching him.

"Was maybe once or twice a week." He shrugs. "It's been more lately."

"Why?" I ask.

His eyes flash in amusement. "I am not sure Em, for some reason I've been feeling a lot more frustrated lately."

"What does that mean?" I ask and he heaves a sigh.

"You're ridiculous. It's my turn away."

Ok.

"Tell me how far you and Rayne went."

I scrunch my nose up. Not very far. But that's very personal.

"That's intense." I say quietly and he cocks his head to the side.

"You just asked me how many times a week I get laid Em."

If I say we didn't do anything would he- would he suspect? Rayne's already slightly pissed off that I told Luella we weren't ever properly together. He says he understands that I just blurted it, he says he's not mad mad. Just that he's worried now.

I can't tell August that we just kissed. I guess that's how far we went anyway. But yeah I can't say in case he puts two and two together, it is his brother, surely he must know somethings up with him as of late?

I take the bottle and take a gulp, letting it burn and I pathetically cough a little.

"Why won't you say that?" He asks, amusement heavy.

"Private information." I whisper and he frowns at me.

"Did you let him touch you Emersyn?"

I swallow and I take another sip.

"Did he kiss you? Did he worship your body with his-"

I take a sip, interrupting his words and he chuckles, pulling the bottle away from me and we slightly glazed eyes he takes a gulp.

God.

"What are your rules?" I whisper.

His eyes narrow at me.

"Pardon?"

"Nia." I breathe. "She said you have rules."

August smirks. "Drink now."

I pause. Confused.

"I asked you what Nia said, you never mentioned she mentioned anything about rules."

"I am drunk I forgot."

"Drink." He demands and I take a sip, pressing it back to his chest and he hisses a little at the cold glass against his bare chest. I stare at it, swaying a little in the comfy mattress.

His chest looks comfy too.

I wanna touch it. No. No.

No.

I look up at him. "My question?"

"I don't have rules." He chuckles. "Just a few, boundaries."

I nod. "What are the boundaries?"

"Why do you want to know?"

So I know not to cross them, duh?

"You've pretty much crossed most of them anyway."

My lips part. Did he read my mind?

"Tell me."

He smirks. "No marks."

I swallow. "But why?"

"It goes both ways, me and them. No marks because it's disrespectful for the other people you're seeing. Like if I left a bruise on Nia, then her boyfriend would see it."

My eyes jumped. "She has a boyfriend?"

He rolls his eyes. "Open relationship. But like yeah, it's just disrespectful when others are going to see it. So I usually say no."

I nod a little and his hand slides up my thigh and this time, I am a little too drunk and enjoying the feeling to push it away.

His moves his top up and then he presses his hand over the mark he left in the soft flesh of my thigh. "Plus I don't like it." He whispers. "Does this hurt?"

I shake my head. I lift my hand to his neck, my nails tracing the mark I left.

"Is it bad then that I like that I made this? That you left the marks on me." I whisper.

His eyes close and he pulls back.

"Fuck Emersyn. I hate you I honestly do."

I pout a little and he lets a few moments of silence sit between us and then he laughs. "Rule number two is you can't stay. You can't sleep in bed with me."

I look down a little amused.

"You're gonna end up sleeping here tonight, I know it, you know it." He breathes, an amused look on his face.

"I am not." I say determined. "I am practicing distancing."

"Shut up."

I glare at him and he smirks.

"The other rules are like don't expect too much from me, no emotions, no deep chats, no secrets shared between friends. I want a rough fuck and then you are free to go." He says it hypothetically as if he was talking to whoever it is but the words are getting me freaking flustered. "Don't expect to meet the family, don't expect me to introduce you to my mates, don't expect dates, flowers, anything romantic."

I see how I perhaps have messed a little with those rules.

"You sound like a fun guy." I mumble sarcastically and August smirks, his hands spreading up my legs again and he grips my hips, pulling me closer to him so my legs were more sort of tangled with his not just pressed.

"If the girls want more then I stop seeing them."

I look up then, raising my blushed cheeks from looking down to meeting his eyes.

"Why though?"

"What?"

"Why do you just do that? Have you ever been in a relationship? Why just casual?"

He takes a gulp if rum and I think I wasn't going to receive an answer but I do and it comes out slurred.

"Because of Luella."

Oh my god I swear if August is secretly in love with Luella I will throw myself off this bridge. This bridge which I mean bed. I will full on fly of the bed because imagine, Jesus Christ-

"Wherever you head is spinning to, stop. Why don't you just fucking focus?"

Maybe because that's not in my capabilities August?

I huff.

"Are you in love with Luella?"

He chuckles and then he sees my serious face and he full on grins at me, amused.

"No baby Em, I am not in love with Luella."

I frown, confused and I run my fingers through the ends of my hair, playing a little with the dark brown strands.

"I have seen her get destroyed by losing someone she loves. To mental illness. I would be hurting my family already; I don't need unnecessary casualties like a girlfriend or a person who would care if I died."

My frown was inevitable. "You're doing better. Why would you still think that way?"

He laughs. "I will forever feel like this Emersyn."

"You told me you were feeling better."

"I am."

This hurts me. Like my heart hurts.

"Well too late by the way. You do have me that would be hurt and I know, I know we aren't anything but I am just saying I would be distraught."

"Guilt tripping me isn't the way forwards." He chuckles and I just stare into his eyes, wanting desperately to absorb all of his pain, all of his darkness. I think I could survive it. I think I could survive it if we swapped souls.

"And Emersyn I know." He breathes. "I know you would be hurt, you wonder why I try and stop you, why I avoid you after you- I am trying to help you."

"I don't need to be taken care of." I say immediately and he rolls his eyes.

"I literally hand fed you banana this evening because you actually can't take care of yourself."

I crinkled my nose. "That could sound dirty."

He sighed at me. "For a virgin you use sex as a deflection an amusing amount."

"Don't throw my virginity in my face." I frown playfully and I fall back, lying back against his pillows, our legs still together.

"Why not?" He smirks and I pout.

Then I grow serious. I dunno who's turn it is to ask but I ask anyway.

"So you get annoyed with me when I get too close because you don't want people getting close to you?"

He stares at me and motions his hand in a so-so gesture.

"And Rayne. You are driving me insane with that."

"With what?" I ask.

"You say you are not together, but you act like it, like you are so annoyingly touchy with him. But then I watch you with everyone and that's just how you are and I just- it's annoying."

"I told you to stop calling me annoying." I whisper.

"I told you to give me a reason not to call you annoying." He immediately retorts and I shake my head, determined Emersyn in the pillows because I don't wanna do this little skit again.

I stare at him, my back arched off the bed a little as my legs are on him and his eyes leave mine and he trails me a little, and then he leans forwards and he pulls his top down to cover me more, his hand slow, soft and I embarrassingly startle when I feel his finger tips along the inside of my thigh as he pulled the top down to recover my underwear.

"August?" I whisper and he immediately looks back up, he nods.

"Where is your head at right now?"

"In what sense?" He chuckles.

"With me."

I asked it.

Shit.

Drunk Em- you be trying to hurt our feelings.

"What do you mean?"

I shrug. I didn't even know.

"I just- what do you-" I sigh. How do I word this?

"When I kissed you the other night, explain to me what was going through your head?" I say softly.

He stares at me. His eyes conflicted.

"Emersyn I don't know."

"Huh?"

"I will show you." He chuckles and then his hands come to my hips and he pulls me down, sliding me off the pillows and in a flash my back is flat against his mattress and he is hovering over me.

I might fucking die.

Not to be dramatic.

"When you are close it feels like this." He hovers over me. Then he lowers himself, pressing himself over me, his stomach on mine, his chest on mine and he reaches down and he taps my thighs as if to say wrap around me then.

I mean I dunno if that is what he wanted, but when I did and he pressed into me more, and we both closed our eyes a little, I gathered I hadn't made the wrong move.

It feels suffocating.

But not- not in a bad way.

Fuck.

I have never felt the feelings I am feeling and obviously I've...I mean, I know what I am doing on my own, like I am not that much of a good girl. But the way my body immediately is squirming in need under him well honestly, it's awful.

Awful because I have never felt that someone else is in control of my body before. It makes me breathless.

"Focus." He grits and my eyes open, I am sure embarrassingly dilated. But well, he can't say anything, not when he's looking at me like this.

Shit.

"It's like I have this voice in my head, when you're so close. And they are whispering yes in one ear and no in the other."

He leans down and he mumbles it into my ear, throaty versions of yes and no and I swear I gasped, I am not even embarrassed, my body is-

Drunk.

That's all. I am just drunk and turned on.

He swaps ears, showing me how he feels like he is so conflicted.

"But Em, when my brain tells me no, it doesn't make me feel bad not until after. So I am like shit I don't think I should be doing this but then..."

"Then what?"

"Then you do that little sigh you do, when your body is buzzing, and I am not fucking helping and all I wanna do is help."

"Yeah you don't help." I whisper.

He smirks a little. "The way your body feel right now..." August starts, and I lock our eyes because that's as much of a response I can give.

"That is how you make me feel Emersyn, that is where my head is at when you do something stupid like kiss my neck."

"I thought it was hot." I whisper, a little amused and he closes his eyes slightly.

"I want to touch you." He whispers. "So fucking much."

"You are slurring." I whisper. "You are not allowed to touch me."

He presses his lower body down more and it takes me a lot of self-control not to allow my hips to do the movement they instinctively go for.

"Explain to me how my brother has left you untouched? It makes so fucking sense to me."

I remain silent.

"Emersyn Rose, don't ignore me."

I close my eyes, lifting my chin and his head lowers down, his lips brushing my throat, the hollow of my neck. "August." I mutter disapprovingly and I wiggle up, my breathing heavy as I stare at him after sitting up.

"You are drunk." I mutter.

"So are you."

"Yes and it's really hard being sensible so please lets both be sensible."

He sniggers a little and flops down, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

"What do you want from me Emersyn?"

I shrug. "I don't know." I whisper.

He looks up. "You don't know?"

I am honest, maybe it's the drink and the fact I honestly think I'll die if I am forced to drink more.

"No." I whisper. "It started off me really trying to make you like me and then it sort of turned into trying to make you smile and it's still like that. All I want from you is to know you are okay... But then like when I joke around, when we are close well... then I forget that I am joking. So I guess I am not joking? I don't know."

Then I freeze.

"No forget what I said!" I exclaim. "I take it back. I don't feel like that anymore I am distancing."

He laughs, turning to look at me.

"What?"

I sigh and collapse down on the bed. "I dunno Leo."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I echoe.

"You don't know what you're doing. Better than you having some motive that I am trying to figure out."

Oh. Yeah okay.

"Um August?" I whisper.

I was drunk why not ask.

Like why not?

"Yes?"

"Do you think I am attractive?"