It was dawn and I don't even know where the night had gone.

I wasn't at all tired, we had all stayed up talking, just- I don't even know what about- for hours.

Luella fell asleep around four and Trev who was snuggled up beside her didn't last long after that.

And August and I talked for a little bit but when he fell silent, not asleep but just, silent. I got on with my own things.

The fire was going out but I thought it was about time, especially when the sky had lightened considerably.

I brought out my things from my bag and settled down with them around me. In so many ways tonight was so magical, such a little memory and so I decided to write it down.

But I also was torn between journaling and reading.

As always.

There's this book I am supposed to read for one of my modules coming up. I say coming up- I have already made my way through the first year reading list. It's second year. Ha.

I am half way through and it is a freaking master piece and I am struggling to find the time to complete it.

So am I am torn as to what I want to do.

I could try and sleep, but I wouldn't be able to anyway. I am so awake right now.

I feel August's attention drift to me and I turn my head to meet his gaze.

"What are you reading?"

I lift the book and toss it to him and he catches it, inspecting the front and opening it randomly and he starts to read.

"Have you read it before?" I whisper and he shakes his head, lying back down and he lifts the book over his face to read.

I just stare a little and then shrug, I guess my decision is made.

And so I write. I write about my day and explain the way tonight felt like something I would remember forever. Not August, I don't mean that. I mean the way I swam with only confidence coating my skin and I write about the way Luella's heart was heavy but she emersed herself with things that distracted her, I wrote about the way the moon watched us and the way she laughed when August didn't believe in her as much as I did.

After what feels like hours August interrupts our comfortable silence.

"Your writing in the margin is driving me insane." He says and I pause my writing and turn to look at him.

"Why?" I whisper. I love writing in books. How else would I remember what I was thinking at the time?

"Because your lens is so positive." He says and he shakes his head down at my words.

"Why is that annoying you?"

"Because you can view these words from a darker scope and you just ignore it."

I smile. "I just see it how I see it Leo."

He extends his arm towards me and lays his palm out flat. "Pen." He demands.

I toss him a pen and he starts writing on the page.

"Leo don't cross out my thoughts."

He looks at me. "I would never. I am merely adding my own in the gaps."

"Okay." I whisper.

He looks back down, sitting cross legged now, the book balanced on his knee and he writes, fully concentrating and I just wonder how he can even have thoughts if he doesn't know the characters, the story, the history. He is on a random page.

I just let him be and carry on writing, well I do until I feel the slight warmth increase and I look up.

Sunrise.

The sun was edging up from behind the waves and I stared.

It was beautiful.

I reach over and nudge Luella, this was the reason why we were here so as much as I knew she'd hate me for waking her, she'd hate me more for not.

She turns around from having her face pressing into T and she looks at me, questionably, her eyes heavy with sleep.

"The sun is coming up Lue."

"Oh." She whispers and she closes her eyes again, only briefly and then she sits up.

"Shit." She smiles and we fall silent, just watching as day emerges from night.

"Let's swim again." I whisper. "In the light, come on."

The sea was reflecting the beautiful golden pink sky and the waves were the same colour, it was beautiful and I needed to go and join them.

"Our costumes will be dry." I tell her and she sends me a tired little smile and she turns round to Trev, laying a hand on his face and she shakes his shoulder as well.

"T we are going in the water. Do you wanna come?" She whispers and after him grumpily telling her to leave him alone, cut to a few minutes later and I am trying to slip my bikini top back on under August's jumper and I am trying to ignore the fact he was too copying all of our moves to get ready to enter the sunrise hugged ocean.

Trev was coming too, he was just a grumpy morning person.

I notice out of the corner of my eye that August has slipped off his top and I shake my head at the way my tired brain wasn't finding this fun, that instead I was feeling extra timid right now.

I stand, deciding to go in in the bicycle shorts and my bikini top, I take of his jumper and toss it to him.

"This can be yours now."

"It's always been mine." August chuckles and he looks up at me, cocking his head.

"No toplessness this morning then?"

Oh we were acknowledging it were we?

The smirk on his face was annoying. "No." I mutter, lifting my arms to behind me neck and I tighten the straps.

He laughs and stands, kicking off his shorts as well and he nods to Trev who jogs around the fire to meet him and they head down the beach together.

"The tension, phew." Luella whispers, walking close to me. "You are after both brother's Em and I am living for it."

I snort and shake my head at her. "I am not after either brother shush."

We head after them down the sand and I am honestly slightly cold but the warm rays of morning light was good enough to keep me happy.

"Not after him my ass, honestly?" She says as I guess she catches me staring at the way he looked utterly breath-taking in the water with Trev, how the sun was coating him and I now wasn't sure whether the moon was my favourite thing or whether it was the way his skin looked at sunrise.

I was in trouble here.

"I am just making him smile." I say softly. "Leo doesn't like it when I am nice to him, he finds my kindness annoying and when I am mean back he gets aggy and so the only way I have been able to make him smile is just joking around, okay flirting with him, it's just for fun, it's just for the smile he gets."

"Okay." Lue says but she nudges her shoulder into mine. "Just saying you don't go to these extents to make him smile if you didn't fancy him."

I look at her in disbelief. "Of course I fancy him are you mad, he's hot."

She laughs at me and then just shakes her head, rolling her eyes and she walks more into the water.

I follow her, trying to be brave with the temperature. Trev and August literally dived straight in and Lue is walking in as if she couldn't care less. As the water laps around my thighs I pause, just taking in the beautiful surroundings. It was so pretty, unbelievably so.

"Are you cold?" August chuckles, facing me and I nod a little but carry on walking in.

"It's a little chilly."

I must look a mess. Luella and I had gone in the water so many times yesterday, her hair was a tangled mess and I am sure mine was too.

The sun was hitting my skin as I walked towards him and August slowly swam backwards, encouraging me to get more and more into the water as I crept towards him, our eyes locked.

My eyes drift to Lue and Trev and I am slightly shocked to see them share a kiss, they never really, not in front of everyone.

But it was so freaking cute.

I also knew we needed to go back to the flat and we all said to Luella we'd be there for her as she took the test. We agreed last night, to go back to their's, get showered and then we'd help Lue through everything.

She wanted us there and August and I had no reason to say no.

My shoulders dip under the water and look back to Leo who was staring, and I smile a little.

He doesn't smile back.

"You can smile at me you know?" I say quietly.

"What if I don't feel like smiling?"

I frown. "Whenever I see you smile I feel like smiling too. This is unfair." I whisper.

"Do you ever think about the words you say." He chuckles. "Emersyn you aren't supposed to be so obvious."

"Why not?" I smile, swimming towards him.

"How about the fact I said I wasn't interested?"

I shrug. "Neither am I. I just like seeing you smile, is that really a bad thing."

"Who knows at this point."

I duck under water at his words, feeling the need to immerse myself in the chilly water and when I break back up through the surface August is looking at me amused.

"Is your coach still not allowing you to train?" I ask.

"Nope."

"Let's train." I say.

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Race me."

"Emersyn." He exhales a laugh. "You know I do this like-"

"Yeah- competitively within Uni. I listen sometimes Leo. Race me."

"You will lose."

"I won't." I grin.

Oh I will. But I just felt the need.

I can't even swim that well.

We had drifted a little away from Trev and Lue and I look at them.

"To Luella." I say.

He shakes his head at me, fully amused.

"Em why-"

"You need to train duh. On the count of three? Yeah."

"Eme-"

"One, two, three." I say quickly and push of as hard as possible from the ocean floor, swimming as fast as I possibly could towards our shocked looking friends.

August had a late start but his amusement could be felt through the way he easily, gracefully cut the water with his perfect strokes.

Me. A broken fish next to him. Struggling to even breath was sad as he passes me in a second, reaching Trev and Lue in no time and I carry on pushing, amused too but not giving up.

August swims in front of me and forget myself a little and grab onto him, wrapping my arms around my his neck and although I think he's shocked at the way I cling to him, he holds my hips as I wrap my legs around his middle under the water.

"That wasn't fair." I whisper.

"Why?" August laughs.

"Because you swim professionally."

August huffs, shaking his head at me and I just let out a small laugh, feeling my eyes droop ever so slightly.

I was tired. That was tiring and I hadn't even slept yet.

I look at Trev and Luella. "The sky is still pink." I tell them, ignoring the fact August was still holding me and Lue looks at me as if to say yes and?

"It's just pretty." I laugh, leaning myself against August's chest and I may have maybe put my face down on his shoulder, just resting and looking at them.

I was tired and he wasn't pushing me off, what was I supposed to do?

"You're tired." He whispers as an explanation of my behaviour.

I ignore him.

Trev turns to us. "We should probably head back soon." He says softly. "We all need proper sleep and we need to figure this out Lue."

She nods, looking back out to the sun and then she turns to me.

"You good?" She smirks and I just sigh annoyed that everyone wasn't just ignoring my clingy ass.

"Okay." I whisper, puling myself away from him and he lets me go, watching me but I don't make eye contact.

"Let's go back to the flat and then I'll drop you home after we know what's going on yeah?" August says to me and I just nod.

He didn't need to do that; I had many other people that could help me home.

But he said he would.

I just sighed.

He's a little confusing.

We slowly make our way out of the water and Lue and I start gathering up our things, Trev sorting out the fire and August helped to pack away the blankets. We were quickly trying in the morning sun and I realised it was going to be so freaking hot today, it was already warm and it was what six in the morning, if that?

Goodness.

"Here." Leo says, tossing me his hoodie back. "You'll be cold when we get out of the sun."

My eyes attach to his and I just put it on and look away.

I grab my shoulder bag and then the big one with all our blankets. August picks up the rubbish bag and Lue and Trev share the other bits between them.

"Come on then kids." Trev says, heading towards the little path and I just follow behind tiredly.

My energy seemed sucked out of me for some reason, I need to text my dad and mum and tell them that I was good, that I would be home probably a little later. I needed to text Rayne and ask him how he was doing.

Sadly my phone had died. So I would have to just charge it after.

"Can I shower when we get back please?" I say softly, aiming it at August because I knew Luella and Trev would be using his bathroom.

He looks back at me and nods.

I send him a small smile and we all go single file up the slope back towards the car.

Luella and Trev heads to Lue's car and I follow August to his, mainly because I thought it might be rude to leave him on his own and also Trev decide to go with Lue, not Leo, which might have meant they wanted to talk.

"You're gonna fall asleep, aren't you?" He laughs, taking the heavy bag off my shoulder and helping my put it in the back.

"Mm." I hum, my eyes admittedly feeling a little fatigued.

"Do you just want me to talk you home now?" August says and I lift my head to shake it at him.

"No, Luella."

He nods. "Okay, get in then."

I slip in the seat next to him and I squirm a little uncomfortably. I was still wet, the hoodie was so big which was so comfy but it was admittedly dirty with sea water and my skin felt horrible, dry with the salt.

The drive was agonisingly slow, us following behind a tired Luella.

I love the beach but as soon as I leave it I immediately lose my love and need to shower as soon as possible.

I huff and August turns to me.

"What's got you all mad?" He says slightly amused.

"I feel gross." I admit.

He was now dressed again and it was easier to look at him as he was driving. Little risk of eye contact, no skin making me all dazed.

"Why?"

"Sea."

He just laughs a little and agrees.

I scrunch my nose up at him. "You are nice today."

"Haven't slept, haven't reset my coldness."

My lips part at that answer and he throws me an amused look.

"So all I need to do for you to be nice to me is keep you awake all night?"

"I thought nice me freaked you out anyway."

"This is true." I muse.

I lean forward to put the radio on and then I decide I should ask. "Can I please play music?"

He nods at me once and I press play, turning it down so the breakfast radio was quiet and coating us as Leo drove.

I lift my legs up and before he can tell me I put them down again, I just wanna be comfy.

I close my eyes for a second. "It feels as if I am still in the water."

"I feel like that every time I train."

I sigh, the fact his coach bans him from training literally makes me so mad.

"Who's your coach? Can I go beat him up please?"

August lets out an amused sigh and he rubs his eyes a little in exhaustion.

"I can train again starting Monday as I haven't done it in a week, like it's fine Em."

I smile. "Okay."

"We're going to pass McDonalds; do you want something?" August asks and I close my eyes, ignoring him.

No answer is better than a negative.

"Em I know you aren't asleep."

I sigh. "No thank you."

He hums a little. "Explain what's going on with you?"

"Nothing's going on, it's six in the morning. Only weirdos are hungry at this hour."

"Well I am gonna get myself something and stuff for Lue and Trev. What do you want?"

"Nothing." I say again. I really didn't.

Not for any other reason. It's just. It's still the same day- I haven't slept yet I haven't like reset the amount-

Okay maybe this was getting a little out of hand.

I'll talk to someone about it later.

I guess.

"Em I am getting you food, either decide what you want or I will decide for you."

"August they don't do vegetarian options anyway."

"You're lying." He chuckles. "They do."

"You'll be wasting your money." I mutter.

"The tragedy." Leo draws sarcastically, turning into the drive through.

I feel so shitty, like I just need to shower and then make sure Lue is okay and then go home and sleep and then I will get food.

"What do you want Em?" He says softly as we drive up.

I am overwhelmed.

"Nothing." I whisper.

His hand comes over and I stare at him surprised when as he orders food, he presses a hand to my knee, holding it and I focus on that not his words.

"Please don't get me anything August." I interrupt him. "I might freak out and it'll only because I am tired, and it'll scare Luella."

He looks back at me surprised I was saying this in front of the man who is stood at our window.

"And can she get some apple slices and an orange juice?" He orders for me and I stare at his side profile.

I can deal with apples. Just.

The man tells him the information that Leo needs for collecting and paying and then Leo takes his hand off me and moves the car forwards.

"No one's mentioned to me before your eating thing."

"It's not a thing." I whisper.

It feels like a thing right now but I don't even know why.

I think you just develop habits, like right now I feel physically uncomfortable with myself, I feel tired and I feel gross and I just need to clean, it's not a body imagine thing. But my brain thinks it is and immediately doesn't want me to eat.

"It is." He says.

"It's literally just got bad again since the stress with Rayne." I tell August. "It'll settle back down and I will get a hold of it again. I always do."

He nods a little and we grow silent as he gets the food from the window.

And so then the car is filled with the smell of McDonalds breakfast and honestly I am usually not at all this sensitive but this doesn't do much to help my random fucking bought of stress.

Maybe I was feeling a little unbalanced? I don't know what's normal and what's not anymore. My mum and dad both are convinced I am a mess. I am not. But here I am trying not to stare at the bag of McDonalds August placed behind me on the seat.

"We'll be back soon." He says quietly.

"I know." I whisper, closing my eyes.

"Explain it to me." August says. "What you are thinking."

Since when did he want to know what I was thinking?

I shake my head.

"No."

"Emersyn, I share with you, I trust you."

I am an open person, I am, with everything. This, however, was not something I could talk about easily. Especially to someone who looks at me as if I have three heads already.

"I don't even talk to Rayne about it August. If I had known Luella would have mentioned it in front of you two I couldn't have told her."

"But you did tell her, that must mean you want to talk about it a little."