Lying in August's bed this morning didn't feel quite okay.

I feel like I should be mad about the whole 'let's wind Emmy up' situation that happened last night, but I wasn't. Like we all know I didn't mind one bit, apart from the uncomfortable heat it fired up my body with. The only reason I was uncomfortable right now was because well Rayne's arm was over my stomach and his limbs were so freaking heavy and also because I know August wouldn't have been like that sober so now when I next see him it's gonna be awkward.

You know what, he'll probably be somehow mad at me.

Rayne is hungover, he's been drifting in and out of sleep for the past hour and I am just slightly cold and gross feeling. I also borrowed a top from August. Which as I hear the front door go I decide I'd get changed back into my dress and just look a mess that way, it was better than angering people.

I say this, but as I do get changed, I find myself pulling a jumper of August's on because quite honestly I am freezing. Leaving Rayne in bed, I hear their voices in the living room and I creep out, smiling in amusement as Trev was laying on the sofa, his head in Lue's lap and he looked in pain.

"Are you okay?" I say gently, getting everyone's attention and Luella smiles at me but then rolls her eyes down at Trev.

"He is hungover that's all. He's just being a baby."

August is quiet, slumped across the armchair, his head resting on the arm and the rest of his body sprawled horizontally.

"Emmy I feel so bad." T cries, lifting his arm to me as I walk past and I catch his hand and give it a squeeze.

"Poor guy." I say, amused and he smiles, happy to get some sympathy.

"You hungover?" I ask August, testing the waters and then I watch in amusement as he winces once his eyes meet mine.

He looked slightly awkward, but at least he doesn't look mad.

Leo nods. "So bad."

"You're on a come down, that's easier than a hangover." Trev grumbles and I look at Lue to explain.

She just smiles at me, shaking her head and I nod. Getting that she can't explain right now. I guess it is literally just the come down from a high, right? Like from drugs.

"It's not easier." August mutters, closing his eyes and I take a seat on the floor, looking around.

I'll tidy up in a minute, I wasn't hungover and the boys looked like shit. Might as well help them.

August then lets out a little groan and he looks at me. "Where's Rayne?"

"Bed still."

"My bed?"

"Mhm."

"Where'd you sleep?"

I send him a small smile. "In your bed."

He nods, not saying anything and then he groans again.

"Are you okay?" I laugh, standing back up and deciding to get both the guys some water and painkillers.

I dunno if it will help, but I felt like helping.

"How do I get out of family birthday celebrations?" He mutters to Trev and Luella and Lue just laughs at him shrugging.

"You don't."

I walk to the kitchen and get them some water, finding the medicine cabinet and I pause slightly when I pull a draw out and the amount of medication in there is shocking. I sift through it, not knowing any of the drug names but looking for painkillers.

All the prescriptions were for August.

All of them.

I just get the painkillers and walk back over to them, setting down water and painkillers on the coffee table.

"Here you are." I whisper towards them and I smile when as I walk away both of the guys say thankyou.

"So you're seeing Nia again?" Trev asks August and I don't pretend not to be listening. I am curious. Their dynamic is interesting.

"Not really." August sort of laughs. "It's just tradition on each other's birthdays we see eachother I don't even know why."

"Nice." Trev laughs and I grab a black sack and start tossing rubbish into it. The flat was a mess. Pretty gross actually.

"Are you wearing my clothes Emersyn?" August says suddenly as I was midway through clearing his dinner table and I pause, turned around and his eyes were connected to the material over me.

"Sorry yeah, I can take it off, I was just cold."

"It's fine." He mumbles, returning his attention back to Lue and Trev.

Luella slides out from underneath him then and she comes and helps me clear up, and we put on some music, making it into a pretty fun activity and I can feel their eyes on us but we just sort of mess around, chucking things in the bin, glasses towards the sink and bottle under the kitchen sink, apparently that's where they keep everything.

We dot around in silence, but occasionally I sing along to the music, quietly, absentmindedly and August and Trev stay laying in pain, sprawled out on the couch.

"Emersyn you are an angel." Trev says and I look up slightly shocked.

"Excuse me." Luella mutters and Trev looks at her amused.

"Baby you wouldn't be helping if Emersyn wasn't."

"Well it's not our place." She mumbles and aggressively chucks a bottle of beer into the trash bag. I just look at her amused and she glares jokingly at me.

"Ima go get showered." August says, getting up. "I'll wake Rayne."

I just send him a small smile, looking back down at the coffee table and thinking, it is disgusting, we should clean this properly.

"You wanna hang out here today Em?" Luella says. "I have clothes you can get changed into."

I nod, sure.

"Is it okay if I shower Trev?" I ask and he nods as if to say go for it.

"I'll go in a bit, I am in such a mood to clean today." I laugh grabbing some spray and a cloth.

"Who even are you?" Lue mutters and lies back down on the sofa, falling onto Trev's chest and from his slightly nauseous look I know he feels sick but he doesn't get her to move he just wraps his arms around her.

They are cute.

"Also shall we make August a cake?" I whisper and Luella laughs at me. But Trev grins.

"Edibles?"

"I mean of course it'll be edible." I frown and both Lue and Trev laugh at me.

"No Em, as in pot cake- brownies-"

I smile a little but I shrug. "We can if you want to, but you are hungover, he's hungover too might be nice to just have some actual food, nice tasting cake?"

Trev nods and Luella agrees even though she looks amused.

"You are turning us all good Emersyn; this wasn't the deal."

I just roll my eyes. "It's just cake."

I put the cloth down and take August's seat on the armchair, curling into myself slightly. I wasn't tired but everything in this apartment was just comfy.

"Emmy." Rayne mumbles from the doorway and I lift my eyes to him in amusement. He looks rough.

"Morning sunshine."

He smiles a little. "Uber's coming in five, we have lunch with mum and that at two."

I frown at that.

Um...

"I am staying here." I say softly and Rayne rubs his face in confusion.

"What?"

I nod. "Well- I mean- I am going to spend the day with Lue and Trev."

"We have lunch with-?"

"I haven't been invited." I say quietly. "Like I am guessing you mean a family lunch at yours but no one's said anything and well it'll be good for you and August and Lottie to spend some time just yous."

He nods slowly and then looks at Lue and T who are amused on the sofa.

"Well come to mine tonight?" He asks. "We can-"

I just nod, cutting him off. "Okay sure."

He falls silent and then he quickly heads back into August's room, talking to him, I am guessing saying goodbye and then he lifts his hand up to send me and Lue and that a goodbye wave too.

"That was awkward." Luella says as soon as Rayne leaves.

"I know." I laugh, closing my eyes and leaning my head over the side of the armchair like August does.

"You two okay?" She asks and I recline more, connecting our eyes.

This is a good time to tell them right?

"We are no longer together." I tell them and both of their eyes widen, even Trev's whose eyes were closed are now open and both of them are staring at me shocked.

"Wait what? When did this happen? Emersyn you are supposed to tell us these things." She mutters and I laugh at that.

I decide to keep as honest as I can.

"The other week I guess."

Both their eyes explode again and I laugh at their dramatics.

"Wait what?"

"Well yeah- I just didn't really know. Um so, we had a fight and I wanted to end it like I tried to end it. We just- it wasn't working. And then he was like no we aren't ending it but then I stopped talking to him so yeah, when we talked again we agreed we were done."

Luella nods slowly.

"Okay but last night yous were-"

I shrug. "We've been best friends for years, like we are close."

She shakes her head at me. "Messy."

It's not messy because there were never any feelings there to begin with. I guess if we had been actually together, I get where she might see it as that.

But obviously I can't explain that.

I send them a little smile and look up to August when he walks out of his room, heading to the kitchen with literally just a towel wrapped around him.

Jesus.

"Have you two kissed since you broke up?" Lue asks quietly and I look back at her, shaking my head.

"Nah we are chill." I say quietly and she nods.

"Honestly strangest fucking relationship I have ever-"

"Okay." I say quickly, feeling uncomfortable because I don't want her to unpick it, it's not her business. Like I love her, I honestly do, I am so happy that we made friends but I am protective of Rayne even if he's still slightly on thin ice. I don't want her to analyse it because it'll make him feel unsafe.

"You're not coming to lunch Emersyn?" August calls from across the room and I cringe because that means I have to look up at him and force my eyes not to wonder across him.

Eyes Emmy, eyes.

"No." I smile. "I mean it's your birthday so if you want me there, I will come- just..."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself." August chuckles. "Was just asking, not inviting."

"Meanie." I mumble and he actually smirks a little, looking at me directly and then he looks back down to whatever food he was making.

"I am gonna go shower." I announce.

I am guessing August is leaving soon, so I stand up and walk towards him.

"Happy birthday." I say again and he nods once at me. "I hope lunch and that is okay."

"Thanks Em, think I am staying at home tonight so I will see you there I am guessing?"

"Um, yeah. I said to Rayne I'd come round. I dunno If we are staying in though."

He nods again and I make the conscious decision that if he was going to ignore his actions last night then so was I.

Rightio I need to clean.

"Emersyn." August calls and I pause, I had just walked away and was heading towards Trev's room.

"Mm?" I hum, turning around.

"That's my favourite hoodie, kinda need it back."

I narrow my eyes at him. "I've never seen you wear this."

"That's cos it's summer."

"You want it back?" I ask and he nods slowly. "Come and get it then."

His eyes flash in amusement but he shakes his head. "Our proximity quota for the week has been met, don't you think?"

Luella and Trev are listening, I am sure, amused. I shake my head at him.

"I'd say the year." I mumble and August chuckles.

"Jumper Emersyn." He demands and I just shrug, lifting it over my head and drop it down on the armchair.

I was left in my dress from the night before and I turn before I watch his eyes look at my bare skin. Little power moves everywhere, I can feel his satisfaction from here.

Asshole. But I am smiling so damn it.

....

We made a cake, I iced it in pink because that was the only food colouring they had and well I decided if they had used it for something once they can't be that opposed. Trev is in love with my cake, he wants to cut it open. I said that August has to be the first to cut it open because it's for him.

That is why I am about to knock on Ivy's door holding a bright pink birthday cake with August's name piped in white across the circumference.

T said if I left it in his care, he would eat it. There was no doubt about it.

So I was gonna give it to Leo here.

"Emersyn baby." My mum answers the door and I smile a little surprised she was here.

"Mum hi."

"You good?" She asks, opening the door wider and I smile at the warm feeling throughout the house.

Jackson had cooked, that is for sure and the fresh smell was still lingering hours after their lunch. It was now five in the evening when I decided to leave Lue and that and head to Rayne's. But as the family feel literally radiated from their front room I could tell they were still celebrating August's birthday.

My mum and Dad were invited, because of how close my dad was with August, but there was also other family members here that as I walked into the front room I hardly recognised. Sat on the sofa were Jackson's parents and everyone else, there was also a much older lady besides August and I smiled knowing immediately she was the one who he visits every couple of weeks.

"Em." Rayne smiles, so does Lottie who was sat on the floor, a glass of wine in her hand and I laughed at that. On special occasions Lottie was allowed one glass of wine, usually they had a zero alcohol policy but Jackson said it was okay on eventful days apparently.

"Hiya." I smile and then I grin a little to everyone but feel slightly exposed so walk through the room to the much less crowded kitchen and I set down the cake. My dad is stood against the side, talking to Ivy and he gives me a grin when I walk in.

"You were missed today kiddo."

I smile. "Sorry just decided to spend the day with Luella and Trev."

"No worries." He smiles and then opens one of his arms for me to walk into.

I do, the hug welcomed.

"You good?" My dad asks me and I nod, pulling away and then laughing when Ivy had taken the lid of the cake and was looking at me amused.

"You like it?" I ask and she grins.

"I love it."

"Trev and Lue and I literally spent the whole day making it." I laugh and my dad peers over the top. It wasn't a special cake, but the thought was there so it's sorta sweet.

"He will love it Em." Ivy says and I laugh because he most definitely does not do nice emotions like love, but I send her a smile anyway.

"How's today been?" I ask, looking at dad and he gives me a small smile.

"It's been nice, comfy."

I nod, looking through to the other room. "Where's mum?" I ask.

"She let you in didn't she?" Ivy says and I nod. "Oh she was on her way to go get something from the store, don't worry about it."

"Ivy needs tampons." My dad states and I feel my lips tug up as she stares at him annoyed.

"You are-"

My dad jogs away from her, chuckling as she just heads after him, calling him a name.

"Hey." August says and I look up surprised, taking him in as he leans against the kitchen doorframe.

"Hi." I smile. "We made you a cake."

August snorts and walks towards me, he was wearing the same jumper I was wearing earlier and I stare at it. It's August, like it's warm.

"Fittingly bright pink." He says, leaning over and he smirks a little. "Surprised you put August and not Leo."

"Well Luella's still confused by Leo so I just- I thought it was more appropriate."

"Looks a mess." He says but he is amused, and I just roll my eyes and push the cake closer towards him.

"I was going to keep it at yours but Trev and Lue said they'd eat it so I-"

He looks up at me. "Thank you Emersyn."

I smile, not grin or even toothily I just send him a small sincere smile and we just sorts stay here for a few seconds.

Then I break it of course.

"Aren't you hot?" I whisper.

"Yep."

"Why the jumper?"

He rolls his sleeves up and I see fresh bandages on both of his arms and I frown.

"August." I breathe. He just shared it with me, easily, openly and I want to wonder why.

I walk around the counter and take his hand in mind, just one and I dunno what I was trying to do but I just stood beside him, holding his hand and looking down at the bandages.

"You had stopped?" I whisper, looking up at him and he smiles a little, it's not real, it's painful, bitter.

"Things are slightly a lot right now."

I nod, slowly. "Do Ivy and Jackson know you're struggling?" I ask.

August nods once. "Your dad told them."

"Who bandaged these up?" I whisper. "And they- you didn't have these last night did you? The new ones?"

He smiles a little. "I was wearing long sleeves last night too."

"Oh." I whisper, remembering.

"You don't need to hide them Leo." I whisper. "You must be boiling."

It was warm in here, I was even hot and I just had my usual variety of a summer dress on. August shakes his head.

"My mother's mother. She doesn't realise that I am just as fucked as my mum was. And Jackson's grandparents, Lottie, even Rayne, they don't need to see."

I nod understanding what he said.

"They don't know?"

"They've probably seen scars." He shrugs.

"It's a no go area." Leo whispers and I look at him slightly confused.

"Like I tell your dad because that's what- that's what I do... but I don't ever tell my parents directly, Rayne doesn't know much really, Lottie, thankfully, less."

"How'd you stop last time?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Guess meds settled.. I don't even know."

"If I ask why, can you explain?" I ask him. "Like I am sorry if that's not a question I can ask, but I don't know much about this."

He remains silent and I feel Ivy and my dad's presence come back into the room and I pull down August's sleeves to cover him, but I keep my hand under it, lightly pressed over his bandage and once again I wish I had the power of healing.

I wish.

"Hey." I smile at them and August doesn't even pull away either, and I look up at him slightly confused.

But he looks exhausted honestly. Like the energy to care what they'd think, was missing.

"You two are friends?" Ivy says, shocked and August chuckles at that.

Yes Ivy, I know. Shocking right?

"Sorta." He mumbles and I turn around to explain it to them.

"August low key hates me but he also knows his life is better with me in." I say and he snorts besides me.

"That's not-"

I look up at him. "I made you a whole ass cake."

"You had help." He rolls his eyes and I just turn to my dad and smile, my smile however fades when his brows are furrowed looking between us.

"Emersyn go to your room."

My lips part and Ivy laughs loudly, looking up at my dad and he just throws her an equally unimpressed look.

He needs to chill.

"Jackson's taking your grandmother home in a little bit." Ivy says softly and August nods a little. "I am glad you brought her this year August."