"Rayne please?" I plead, slumping down on his lap so he can't avoid my eyes anymore.

He holds me steady and just leans back, narrowing his eyes at me.

We were in my garden, sunbathing and it was so peaceful and relaxing. Until I suddenly had the idea of going fruit picking.

Like I just wanted to go and have the sun beating down on us, I wanted to carry a little basket and smell the beautiful perfume of fresh strawberries.

I needed to do this.

"Rayne please? Why not? We're just laying here. I wanna..."

"Em." Rayne laughs pushing me off his lap and he gives me a pointed look. "As innocent as I know you sitting on my lap is, please remember that your parents don't know that."

I give him a sheepish look and look back towards my mum and my dad, they both took the afternoon off to spend some time together, I think. I dunno, they just where connected at the hip today so I gathered.

"Please." I plead.

"No, I- I have plans Em. You know this. We agreed I'd spend the morning with you and then I am supposed to be going to Harrison's pool party. Like I am supposed to be there now." Rayne laughs and I just flop back dramatically on the blanket.

"But I wanna go pick strawberries."

"I am sorry." He says. "I don't- I just wanna. No okay we can go pick strawberries." He sighs.

I grin, sitting up immediately and then I pause.

Okay I was being needy.

"You know what- go. Sorry. I have other friends I will find someone else to go with me." I smile.

"Are you mad?" Rayne asks, sitting up properly too.

"Nope."

"Are you sure?" He asks and I roll over and search for my phone amongst the mess we have made. We have empty plates, he has magazines, I have my book I was currently readying, which is The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh and also my notebooks.

I was um, comparing people to flowers. Trying to find the best ones to fit each person.

I was learning which flowers had emotions attached to it, what they symbolised, what they meant.

"I am sure. Sure." I smile. "Honestly sorry I know I'm a little needy. You've been so freaking nice this week." I say. "Go party."

"You could just come with me?" He says. "It's a pool party, you love water, and-"

"I don't wanna." I say softly. "But I do want to go strawberry picking so excuse me."

I lift my phone to my ear and lie back down, resting my head on his thigh and he just rolls his eyes at me.

"Em?" Luella's voice floods my ear and I smile immediately.

"Hiya, how are you?"

"Um I'm good." She says. I saw her a few days ago. We went and ate cake at this little dinner that has been around forever apparently. Ivy told me about how one day Jackson brought her a slice of almost every single cake they had, and they just tried them all and found their favourite.

So Luella and I just did that on Monday and now Friday I knew she'd probably be busy but I just thought I'd ask her if she fancied going out at all.

"You sure?" I ask. Something in her voice said otherwise.

"Yeah I'm just at Trev's." She says.

"Oh what are you doing?"

Luella laughs slightly, a little breathlessly and my eyes widen.

"Luella Samuels why on earth did you answer the phone if you're..."

"Because I was interested in what you wanted. And we're done."

I blushed on her behalf, goodness when was I gonna be less awkward?

"Well what are you doing now?"

"Um, smoking? You wanna come round?"

"No I wanna go strawberry picking."

There's slight silence.

"Why?"

"It's just something I suddenly need in my life."

Luella laughs and she just shrugs. "Fuck it. Why not?"

"Yes!" I exclaim sitting up and I throw Rayne a grin when he just moves things out of my way, so I down fall as I get to my feet.

"Right now?" I say. "Please. I know this farm and they just- okay you have to pay like a fiver but we will- I'll pay."

"Can Trev come?" Luella asks and I say a quick yes.

"Have you both been smoking?" I ask.

"Yeah..."

"That's fine it just means I have to drive and well no one trusts me even though I am a super good driver."

"Oh god." Luella mumbles.

I just grin.

"Right I will be round to Trev's in like fifteen? I have to drop Rayne off at a party and also convince my parents to let me borrow the car so... fifteen?"

"That's cool. We'll be ready to follow you around a field as you pick strawberries." Luella laughs and I just grin.

Excited.

I thank her and hang up, extending a hand to Rayne as he was still sat on the blanket and I pull him up.

"You going?" He asks and I nod.

I pull my maxi skirt over my white swimming costume and just tie my hair up with whatever I can find.

"Get dressed I am taking you now." I smile and he nods, getting up.

"Shouldn't we tidy..."

I wave it off, looking at our mess. "I will do it when I get back."

Rayne just nods in amusement and I jog away from him, up the garden and up the little stairs to where they were sitting at the garden table just talking softly to one another.

"Mumma..." I smile, sitting down beside her and I lean my head on my hand as I rest my elbow on the table, just giving her my sweetest smile.

"What do you need?" My dad says immediately.

Dad geez.

"Can I borrow the car?"

They both look at each other and I sigh.

"Why don't you trust me? I scored perfect on my practical and theory. I am a much safer driver than mum- I am so much better than Rayne."

"Hey!" Rayne exclaims from the kitchen and I just turn and throw him a quick grin.

It was true.

"What do you need the car for? I can just give you a lift somewhere?" My dad offers and I just sigh, blinking at him in sadness.

"I just wanna go pick fruit and I wanna see my friends and I wanna have the freedom to do that without being carted around."

"Maybe you should buy your own car then." My mum says, heavily amused but I huff.

"I will, after I save up enough money to go travelling oh and survive three years at college oh and pay off the money I owe you for ballet shoes and art supplies and the laptop that-"

"Oh for goodness sake." My dad chuckles and tosses me the keys. "Your head stressing me out Em."

I grin. "I will be back soon!"

I get up and grab my bag waiting for Rayne as he gathers his things from my room. He'd been staying round almost every day this week. My dad was not a fan. He kept like, I don't even know, going into the room next to us and making a lot of noise. At two o'clock in the morning the other night my dad stomped up and down the stairs, I think to let Rayne and I know he was still awake and I could just hear my mum's laughter from their room for like the rest of the hour.

She found his protectiveness funny. I am just glad that Rayne and I weren't actually a thing. Because imagine that.

It wasn't long before Rayne and I were heading along Lister Drive and he was directing me towards the house.

"Why is it at two in the afternoon?" I ask. "Like that's a little random to have a party."

"We are just hanging out, then it might turn into a party later."

I nod rubbing my face.

"Well, remember to wear sun cream." I smile and he rolls his eyes.

"You still need to protect yourself against the sun Rayne." I mumble. "Just because your skin doesn't burn exactly like mine doesn't mean it doesn't need protection."

He just tells me to chill and grabs his bag, getting out of the car.

"I will see you later?" He says.

"Huh?"

"Oh I thought we agreed you'd stay at mine?"

I shrug. "I am not sure. I think we should maybe just chill alone tonight?" I say. I don't want him actually getting sick of me.

"Okay your call." Rayne smiles. "If you change your mind about the party, let me know?"

"Of course." I smile and I laugh when he curses slightly when he looks towards the house.

"They're watching." He mumbles, looking down.

"And?"

Rayne leans over then, his fingers grabbing my chin and he places a small kiss on my cheek.

"Don't be mad."

He sits back and gets out the car. I just sigh. I don't mind him doing that- but I don't know. It makes me feel shit about myself and I don't even know why.

Shaking that off, I reverse the car and head to Trev's.

....

"Go around there." Trev says, his head hovering in the middle of mine and Lue's seats as I go to drive into the entrance.

"Huh?" I say.

"Drive around to like the back." He says.

"But-"

"Come on Emmy. Live a little." Luella grins, grabbing out a few plastic bags from her bag.

I drive around the farm, parking along the street opposite as Trev directs me.

"You are like able to climb right?" He says and I just look between them.

"Are we breaking into the strawberry farm?"

Luella laughs at my astonished tone and nods. "I am not paying out fifteen pounds between us so you can go and pick some fruit."

"But I was going to pay." I mumble.

"No you are going to climb your pretty ass over the fence and help Luella over when she struggles."

"And what about you?" I say, shutting off the car and starting to get out.

"Ima be on the other side, helping Lue get over."

"I am athletic you know?" She grumbles getting out the car too and I lock it once we all three were out.

"You were. Now you lay in bed all day and I am not too sure."

Luella frowns deeply and she looks at me. "You're wearing a dress." She says. "She's wearing a long ass skirt T, this is not a good idea."

That for some reason egged me on.

"Oh come on Lue, I'll just tie it up." I smile. "Where's this fence then?"

Trev grins at me and grabs a hold of Luella's hand and I watch as she pulls her hand out of his and she grabs mine instead, pulling us quickly around the corner and I laugh at how it was a tall gate but it would be easy to climb.

"Ima just take my skirt off I have a swimming costume underneath."

"Oh god." Trev mutters and Luella sends him this scathing look and so he turns around, as if to protect me from his eyes.

"I am sure you'll see me in a bathing suit at some point this summer but it's nice to not feel the awkward one for once."

Luella laughs and starts to try and climb the fence as I take off my skirt.

"Luella get down." Trev mutter's still facing away but knowing exactly what she was up to.

She jumps down.

"Hold my skirt and then toss it over?" I ask.

"Sure." Luella say and I slip my sandals off too, I should probably be thinking about the consequences of getting caught but instead I just climb up the fence and grin when I see rows and rows of strawberry bushes, honestly, I was so freaking excited.

Jumping down was easy and I caught my clothes back from Luella and slipped them back on, getting myself ready to help her and Trev climb over.

Crimson and scarlet fruits decorated with little cream-coloured seeds beckon from the rows and rows of plants. Wild saturated red covered literally all the way in the distance that I could see and I just grinned, grabbing the bag and I didn't even really talk to Trev and Luella. Instead they turned it into a competition, trying to pick as many as they could and I watched them in amusement as she laughed and he just continuously tried to get that sound out of her.

It was cute.

They were cute even though I knew Luella was so conflicted about the whole thing. But well she must have some feelings? She told me to stay away from him.

In the field I was consumed by the smell of sweet strawberries, between the neat beds of crimson I am taken back to Italy, the way the market people would have crates and crates of fresh fruit, how they shouted and shouted trying to sell their daily produce. I remember being told to write about them, about the strawberries but I just couldn't help but keep my focus away from the man selling them, the way he was happy one minutes, talking to a local and the next he was screaming the word Strawberry in English to attract the tourists. It was a magnificent display of the way a face, a tone, a sound can change so easily. How change is so human.

We had been here a while now and each of us has a bag full of strawberries and I just suggest we head back to the gate.

"I am not climbing back over that again." Luella laughs and she nods towards the entrance.

"But-"

Trev just shrugs, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and he smiles almost goofily, picking up a strawberry out of his bag and he offers it to me.

I part my lips and Trev slides it between my teeth in almost heated amusement.

"You aren't at all as innocent as you say." He says quietly and I just shrug his arm off my shoulder.

"I was just taking your strawberry." I smile and he just shakes his head, rolling his eyes and then nodding towards the exit.

"We walk straight out as if we paid and if they say anything you run."

"Run?" I say and he nods.

"Yep can you run?"

Sorta.

I can run but well my ankles are like, shitty sometimes.

But they will survive.

"Okay run." He says and I try to look up at him in surprise but well I miss him because he is already sprinting out through the front entrance. Running between two stalls that had people sat at and Luella doesn't hesitate either, she sprints, and I am just clutching my bag of strawberries and running as fast as I bloody can after them.

I briefly hear the ladies call after us but I focus on following Luella and when I catch up with her I laugh when there's a grin on her face but she is also breathing so heavily it's sorta hilarious.

"Come on." I say and run faster, running down the pavement and catching up to Trev and he just grins at me as we run and suddenly I don't know how we decided we were racing but I push my legs faster and we were in battle, his long legs taking longer strides than me but my years of ballet making my legs strong enough to pound against the pavement and almost get a head of him.

Then he slows down, slowing to a halt and he turns around and I stop too, looking over my shoulder and we laugh at the fact we just left Luella way ass behind.

"You." I gasp and decide to catch my breath before I die. Then I exclaim. "You said we'd only run if we were caught-"

"Thought it would be fun to run." He shrugs.

Luella catches up with us and she just gives me a look. "Why'd you run so fast?"

"I wanted to beat him." I smile and she just laughs handing me her bag of strawberries.

"Yeah here." Trev says, handing me his too.

I look down at my three full bags and then suddenly groan.

"Shit what am I gonna do with these?"

...

Jam.

Jam is now my enemy.

I have made exactly four different batches of Jam. All four on the stove at once, it was slightly overwhelming.

One was pure strawberry jam. The next was a vanilla and strawberry Jam and then the other two were okay slightly more out there... like this one on the back is strawberry, balsamic and black pepper and the other bigger pot is Strawberry and the other is strawberry and champagne.

My mum's going to be angry I used the champagne. Well okay- the chaos of the kitchen right now suggests that she won't even think about the missing champagne.

I had all four pots on the stove, almost definitely burning away and one of my sides was covered in the green leaves of the strawberries and the other are the bowls I used to mix things up together and also the weighing scales for the sugar and the little jars I have found from when I wanted to paint them- well they're coming in handy so well now.

I collected jars from everyone for like three weeks because I wanted to create like these fairy lights sorta things for the garden and then well when I came to actually doing it one of the jars broke and I got hurt and well my mum said I had to not drill into glass.

So...

Anyway I told her I would find a use for them.

Jam.

I was even trying to write out labels.

This was so fucking fun.

Slightly Chaotic.

I went back over to the oven and stirred the jam round, goodness it was um... I probably have over fifty jars worth of jam here...

My parents...

They went out. I think they went to Ivy and Jackson's actually, I am not sure. I was too focused on my genius plan to make Jam so when I listened to the voicemail it really could have said anything.

I don't even really like Jam....

Anyway.

Each of them were bubbling now and I wasn't sure whether that was a good sign or not. I rushed back over to check the recipe that I had adopted very much to my liking and I cringed.

It doesn't say anything about the bubbles.

Should it be bubbling? Or does that mean it's really too hot. No I got it.

'One all the sugar is dissolved, turn up the heat to high and let the jam bubble until it reaches 105oc and then pour into sterilised jars.'

I have to sterilise the jars?

I washed them....

It's cool. I grab the thermometer out and I grin when my pure strawberry one is at the temperature and with the exciting background music I start to pour the jam piping hot into the jars.

I feel myself dancing along to The Weekend Blinding Lights and I am in way too good a mood for the negatively I felt when I suddenly hear keys in the door. I look around the kitchen.

They gonna be mad.

I just shrug.

They might be impressed I made jam.

Even if it's an abundance of it.

Trev and Luella tried to get me to come back with them but I decided that Jam was really freaking important and so they just gave me slightly judgemental looks and left. But they told me to come there after.

I was also being told by Rayne to come to the party.

It was only five in the evening, I just wanted to make my jam-

"Emersyn Rose what the fuck."

I blinked in surprise at my dad's foul language and I see August behind him and I just look around the kitchen too.

"Um so..."

"Em what are you even doing?"

"I just-"

"Why is it every time we leave you alone you do something weird?" My dad asks.

August actually sniggers then behind my dad and I just look at them both hopelessly.

"I am just making Jam."

"But why?" My dad exclaims, walking behind the kitchen side and looking in each of my pots.

"Why are there four saucepans full of freaking Jam Emersyn. You don't even like Jam. Your mum doesn't even really like Jam. I like Jam but sweetheart I don't need a few dozen fucking jars."

I just shrug.

"I- I picked too many strawberries." I mumble. "And I just-"

"Did you use the Champagne?" My Dad exclaims again.

"It was just sitting there!" I say helplessly.

August is leant against the kitchen door as my dad looks over everything I am doing and I just watch him.

"Stop looking so amused." I mumble and his eyes leave my dad to meet mine.

I pause my pouring and then lower my eyes, concentrating again.

"Why Jam?" He says and my dad looks up suddenly, utterly surprised that August was talking to me.