There was once a girl

Who wanted freedom

From the boring life she lived,

So I gave it to her.

I introduced her to a world

Beyond the one she knew.

I gave her magic and adventure

And purpose and moments.

We became closer than family

She meant the world to me

So I gave her everything I had

I opened my heart

While she broke down my walls

And for awhile, we were happy.

But we had to say goodbye, if only for a bit

She was afraid I wouldn't come back

So I promised her forever

Not realizing it was the last time

I truly saw her

For who I knew her to be.

We once again said "hello"

But she was different, distant.

The girl I knew,

Was no longer there.

She had built her walls back up

And closed off her heart.

She turned into the judgmental people

We used to make fun of.

She was slipping through my fingers

And I tried everything I could

But spilled water can never return to its container.

"I kind of understand why she didn't

Want to be your friend," she told me

Thinking back to what happened over the summer

And the toll it took on the both of us.

I laughed and smiled

My perfect, little mask covering the sword

That pierced my heart.

"How are you?" I asked the next day

"Not like you care."

Another sword,

This one sharper.

I watched her walk away

With a smile on my face

And tears in my eyes.

I had opened my heart to her

And she took advantage

The one person who meant the world to me.

It was my fault though

I poison the people closest to me.

My mask was on so tight

Even I didn't see the monster beneath it.

I gave her my beautiful world

Along with the deadly poison

Without a single thought.

I had promised her forever

But I never understood the price.

My heart throbs every time I see her

The once bright smile and cheerful laugh

No longer found.

She bows her head to me

And walks right on by

Acting like we were strangers

Who never battled the bitter world together.

I laugh and smile

Even though I'm dying on the inside

I can't let her see how much she affects me

And my conflicting emotions

Between self-loathing and betrayal.

My world has become laughter and pain and confusion

About what happened to her

And whether it was ever my fault.