Jimin left me there. I felt paralyzed. Devastated. I didn't know how much time passed. It might have been 5 minutes or an hour. I didn't move for the chair I was sitting in. And that is where Jess found me.

She forced me up and out of the restaurant and dragged me back to the house. I entered the house and made a direct path to Jimin's room, hoping to find him there. The room was empty and I laid down on the bed to wait. I could only hope that he'd return and that he would give me a chance to explain.

I loved him more than I could put into words. I wanted to be with him. I just wasn't strong enough. I didn't see how I could just give up everything I had worked so hard for to move across the globe. I didn't understand how he could ask me that. And I didn't think our relationship would survive being separated on two different continents. I thought back to the conversation that RM had with me and the one that he had with Jess. In the moment, I understood how Hobi came to the conclusion that he did. I wanted Jimin to enjoy life. I wanted him to move forward. I wanted him to be happy. I didn't see how he could do that with a girlfriend weighing him down everywhere he went.

I closed my eyes and wished for time to reverse. I couldn't believe that I would ever wish something like that but having had a small taste of Jimin's love, I would have rather not had it at all. Nobody would ever be able to measure up to him. I broke down in sobs thinking of never again being able to hold him, kiss him. I cried, thinking about never looking into those deep brown eyes. I'd never get to feel him over me, around me, in me. I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up to a drunk Jimin whispering in my ear. His eyes were bloodshot and he reeked of alcohol. I didn't even want to know how much he had drank.

"Jimin?" I wiped the sleep from my eyes and sat up as he swayed over me. I put my hands on his shoulders, easing him to sit down on the bed.

"Don't leave me, baby, please." He whimpered. Tears trickled down his face. I broke. In that moment, I could not handle the sight in front of me. This strong man that cared so deeply about everyone else around him was wasted beyond recognition and begging for me.

I started to cry also and climbed into his lap, clinging to him like he was my oxygen. He clung to me in return and we stayed that way, each allowing the other to fill in the hole that was empty from our earlier exchange. I couldn't let go of him. I couldn't bring myself to leave this man. But I didn't know how to reconcile the issues of time and distance.

I knew we weren't getting anything resolved tonight with as wasted as Jimin was. I helped him lay back on the bed and I removed his shoes and clothes. I climbed in beside him and pulled the covers over both of us. I settled into his arms, my head resting on his chest. He was out cold, minutes later. I couldn't sleep. I laid there in his arms and recounted everything that had happened and everything that was said tonight. I tossed and turned for an hour before I decided to get up and go swim. I didn't want to think anymore. I just needed to wear my body out for a bit.

When I returned from swimming a few hours later, Jimin was awake. He was sitting up in bed with his arms resting on his knees. He was a sight. I would never tire of that view. His bare chest was on display with those gorgeous nipples. His abs were contracted slightly as he was hunched forward and the sheets pooled at his trim waist. He lifted his head and we made eye contact.

"I thought maybe you left me." He said. I shook my head as I slowly walked towards him. I stopped right in front of the bed, but hesitated to join him.

We stared at each other, neither wanting to make the first move. The air was full of an awkward electricity. Jimin finally sighed and looked away before looking back at me and reaching out to take my hand. He pulled gently, bringing me onto the bed and into his lap. I was sitting in between his legs and he had them wrapped around my waist. It almost seemed like he was trying to prevent me from running away.

"I'm sorry, Dia," Jimin started, "I do understand where you are coming from. It is a big move. And it's not fair for me to spring it on you. I just can't stand the thought of not being with you. I can't bear the idea of leaving you behind and going back to Korea without you."

His arms tightened around me and I squeezed him back in response.

"You have no reason to apologize. I get why you'd be upset."

"So where do we go from here?" He whispered.

Neither of us spoke. I don't think either of us wanted to speak our situation into reality. He pulled me forward further into his arms and we held each other as the uncomfortable silence filled the air around us. I felt Jimin's lips graze my ear and cheek as he laid a delicate kiss above my eye. I responded with a kiss to his collarbone. I had begun to cry again, my teardrops landing with my kisses. We both kissed each other lightly, little kisses on our necks and cheeks before we met each other with our lips. We continued to kiss like our lives depended on it. I grasped for him and he pawed at me. We were desperate for each other.

He pulled me down to the bed and twisted around so he was hovering over me. We continued to kiss into a frenzy, as if we were making up for all the missed opportunities to come. He kept his lips on mine, only pulling back for a moment as he said, "I need to be inside you."

I moaned in response, desperate for that connection with him. In no time at all, we had managed to remove all of our clothes without breaking our lips apart. It wasn't too difficult considering he was only wearing boxers and I only had a bikini on. There wasn't much foreplay this time. It wasn't about that right now. We just needed to feel each other. I stopped him right before he pushed into me.

"Jimin, get a condom." He paused and looked down at me.

He hesitated for only a second. "Please, Dia. I just want to feel you. I need to feel you."

There was a pleading agony in his eyes and I relented. I think a part of me needed it as well. He pushed into me and he brought his lips back to mine. He took his time. Neither of us were in a hurry. There was a rawness to this moment. If this was going to be the last time, I was going to savor every last inch of him. When he finally came inside me, there was a bittersweet point when it felt like my heart shattered and was put back together in a single instance. I would never love another the way I loved him.