His horrific body pressed against mine as I squirm under him. My tears that go unnoticed. My skin that is sore and bruised. My cries grow quiet as he presses my face into the pillow. His disgusting smell that is invading my nose. My sobs are a whisper compared to his raspy moans. He just uses me like a piece of worthless garbage. I'm just a toy to him, something to fuck and then throw away. He tears down my defenses and leaves me absolutely broken. Broken, is that what I am?

Yes, I was always broken and I will always be useless.

Once he's done with me he leaves me there by myself. I'm left alone as I sob. I curl my naked body into a little ball that I want to stay in forever. Where I will be alone but free from this nightmare I call a tragic reality.

I wake up crying in Robin's arms. He holds me tightly as he whispers encouraging words in my ear. I cling tightly to his shirt as my sobs start to quiet. I look up at his eyes and start calming down.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I shake my head.

"I don't remember much of it really. It was just a big blur of pain and hurt. I just wanted to die and I wished he had just killed me." I say and Robin touches my shoulder and I shrug his hand off.

"Regina." Robin says and I shake my head.

"I cried your name over and over again as he raped me. I tried to picture your comforting face but I couldn't. You weren't even there when I needed you the most. I needed protection and you weren't there." I say as tears drip out my eyes.

"Regina, I'm sorry." Robin says and I chuckle as I shake my head.

"What are you sorry for? It was all my fault that I got raped." I say as I stare at the wall.

"Regina, none of this was your fault." Robin says and I just shake my head.

"I should've just killed myself when I had the chance. It wasn't worth it to keep living. I can't keep getting hurt like this." I say as I look up at him.

"Regina, don't talk like that. Your life is worth it. Everyone needs you." Robin says and I laugh.

"You don't get it. I felt dirty and used everyday and no one cared. No one even noticed how I struggled. I feel like nothing. I don't matter and I hate myself." I say and Robin wraps his arms around me.

"Stop talking like that. I know we aren't married yet but you're my wife. I can't bear living without you. You need to have hope that it will get better and if it doesn't I'll be there for you." Robin say as he stares at my eyes.

"Do you know that feeling of helplessness and self hate? I feel like that every time I take a single breath. It hurts so much and I wish I can rip my heart out. At least for that one moment I won't feel." I say and Robin grabs my hand.

"And for that moment I'll be there to feel for you." Robin says and tears fall down my cheeks. "I'm not going to push you to talk about it. I want you to willingly share with me. I don't want my wife to feel like this." Robin says as he wipes my tears.

"Robin, we aren't married yet." I say and he shakes his head.

"I don't need a silly ceremony to know you're my wife. We were married the first time I laid eyes on you and I can't stand to have you feeling this way." Robin says before he kisses my forehead.

"You're making me cry." I say through my tears.

"As long as they are happy tears then it's alright." Robin says as he pulls me into another hug.

I cling to his shirt tightly and sob into his shoulder. Letting out all the emotions out as I'm held by my loving husband. I never wondered this before but what would I do without him. I wouldn't have someone to hold me in my darkest hours, someone to comfort me at my worst, someone who loves me unconditionally and someone who will be by my side for all of eternity.

"I love you." Robin says as he kisses my cheek.

"I-"

"I know, you don't have to say it." He says and I smile.

"Thank you." I say and he shakes his head.

"There is no need for a thank you. Now, let's get you back to bed and I'll be here to soothe you." Robin says as he lays us back on the bed.

Robin covers me up with the blanket and pants a kiss on my cheek. He cuddles with me and wraps his arms around me tightly, hand places protectively on my stomach. I smile as I drift off to a less painful sleep.

Soon I wake up before Robin and head into the kitchen. I sit on the stool by the counter and eat some food that was always out. I let out a small yawn before I head back in the kitchen.

"Regina." Robin says and I turn to look at him.

"What?" I say to Robin as he walks into the kitchen.

"I'm taking you to the doctor. I just want to make sure that you and the baby are alright." He says and I send him a glare.

"We're fine and we have a very strong appetite." I say and Robin laughs.

"I just want to make sure that you are physically okay from our little talk earlier." He says seriously and I nod.

"I feel somewhat better. I got a lot off my chest and you make everything better." I say with a smile and quickly add, "For a serial killer of course."

"I still remember that. It was our first date and you thought I was a serial killer." He says with a laugh.

"Surprisingly you haven't killed me yet." I say with a smirk.

"I don't kill the pretty ones." He says and I laugh.

I pull his neck down so our eyes stare into each other. I gently press my lips against his and kiss him. I smile into it as we kiss slowly, it wasn't rushed and there was no sense of urgency. It was perfect and he's perfect. He's my perfect guy.

"I love you." I say as I pull away and press my forehead against his.

"I love you too." Robin says with a smile.

Our noses brush against each other's slightly and I giggle. Robin cups my cheeks and bring me into another kiss. My thumb rubs his perfect beard as my other hand plays with his golden locks. He pulls away and I stare at his blue eyes.

"You get me." I say with a smile. "You understand me, you support me no matter what and you always know how to comfort me. You get me."

"It's my job to get you. I'm going to be your husband and if I don't get you then it'll my own personal hell." He says and I laugh.

"Come on." I say as I drag Robin out the house.

We finally get to the doctor's office. Robin sits in the waiting room as I answer some uncomfortable questions. Questions that lead to this awkward situation. Finally, Robin is by my side as we wait for the doctor to explain some things.

"I just think you're having some post traumatic stress. It is completely normal after a situation like that. I just want to recommend some therapy and maybe some melatonin to help you sleep at night." The doctor says as she writes the prescription.

"Will that hurt the baby?" Robin asks as he holds my hand.

"No, the baby will be perfectly fine." The doctor says as she looks at me.

"We were also wondering if we could see her." I say and the doctor smiles.

"Of course. I just have to go get some equipment." She says as she gets up and walks out the door.

"Robin, we get to see our daughter." I say with tears in my eyes as I look up at him.

"I can't wait to see our little Peanut." Robin says as he places a hand on my stomach.

"I just hope I'll stop cramping soon." I say as I rub my stomach softly.

"Everything will be alright. Everything is perfect." Robin says as he kisses my forehead.

The doctor comes back in with a fetal monitor and sets up the other equipment. I'm told to pull up my shirt so she can apply the cold gel on my stomach. I cringe slightly when it's applied and hold Robin's hand tightly.

"Okay, Regina let's see your baby." She says and I smile.

I look up at Robin with a wide smile on my face and he kisses my temple. I stare at the fetal monitor waiting for my child to appear on the screen. After a few minutes I look up at Robin and he gives me a reassuring smile.

"Regina, I'm sorry." The doctor says and I furrow my eyebrow.

"What's wrong?" Robin asks as he holds my hand tightly.

"You're having a miscarriage."

*****

😅

(Only because this is what half of you guys look like right now)