“I throw my hands up in the air sometimes saying ayoo! Gotta let go!” Arden and I sang, thrusting our hands up into the air. “I want to celebrate and live my life saying ayoo! Baby let’s go!”

“Cause we gun’ rock this club, we gun’ go all night, we gun’ light it up, like it’s dynamite!” Melissa belted out, thumping her hands on the steering wheel.

“Cause I told you once, now I told you twice, we gun’ light it up like it’s dynamite!” Zak chorused, nodding his head.

Oliver rolled his eyes, turning to look out the window while we all continued to sing. I smirked, thrusting my shoulder into his arm. “I came to move, move, move, move. Get out the way of my crew, crew, crew, crew—”

Oliver pushed me away. “Stop it.”

“Come on, Oliver, live a little!” Arden said, turning around in his seat to grin at him. “I know you know the lyrics to this song.”

“I’m not singing.”

“And it goes on, and on, and on,” I sang, grabbing Oliver’s arms. “Come on, ready?”

“No—”

“I throw my hands up in the air sometimes! Saying ayoo!” I pulled Oliver’s arms up, making him move back and forth to the beat. “Gotta let go!”

Oliver scowled, pulling his arms out of my grasp. “Stop it!”

I pouted at him. “You’re no fun Oliver.”

“The music’s giving me a headache,” he complained. “Can’t you turn it down a little bit, Mel?”

“Nope,” she chirped, glancing at Oliver threw the rear-view window. “This is how you have fun in a car.”

“Ayoo!” Elliot cried, waving his hands up in the air.

Oliver groaned, slumping down in his seat. “Are we almost home yet?”

The music suddenly cut off as Tucker changed the station. Arden, Melissa, and I all protested. “Why are you changing it?” Arden demanded.

“You guys singing ruins the song,” Tucker responded simply. He finally decided on a station that was playing commercials, dropping his hand back into his lap.

Much to his chagrin, a song started playing right away. A song we all knew again.

“Girl please excuse me if I’m coming too strong but tonight is the night we can really let it go,” Arden sang, deepening his voice to try to match Enrique’s.

Oliver kicked the back of Arden’s seat. “Stop singing!”

“You’re ruining the car ride!”

“Car rides aren’t supposed to be fun!”

Zak turned to frown at Oliver. “So you want us to sit in silence?”

“Preferably.”

“Baby I like it!” Elliot and I cried together as the chorus played.

“The way you move on the floor,” Melissa continued.

“Baby I like it!”

Tucker quickly changed the station again, causing Melissa and me to groan again. Zak laughed at us, shaking his head. When Tucker stopped on another station I couldn’t help but to grin.

“We’re dancing like we’re dumb dumb, d-d-d-dumb. Our bodies’ going numb numb n-n-n-numb. We’ll be forever young—”

“Harley, Arden do you both know every song on the radio?” Tucker asked in exasperation, cutting us off. He turned to give us a ruffled look. “Seriously?”

Arden shrugged. “Hey. I love Ke$ha.”

“I don’t know all the songs, just the songs they happen to be playing,” I clarified, unable to stop grinning. I was in a great mood, and I wasn’t afraid to let it show.

Suddenly our van stopped moving. Melissa swore lightly. She turned back to Oliver, looking annoyed. “Did you put gas in the car like you were supposed to?”

“Nope,” he responded casually. “I figured someone else would do it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before we took it today?” she demanded.

“Why didn’t you stop to get gas before we picked everyone up?”

Melissa gave him a flat look. “Because you were supposed to yesterday!”

“Why didn’t you just check the gauge?” Zak chipped in, looking confused.

“It’s broken,” Melissa responded with a sigh.

I frowned slightly. “Now what?”

“We wait for someone to bring us gas,” Melissa responded, sounding depressed. “Where are we?”

She looked out the window, and I followed her gaze, realizing with a shock that we had broken down right in front of a cemetery. Not just any cemetery though— the cemetery where my parents were buried. My breath caught in my throat as I stared though the foggy window of the van at the snowy graveyard before me.

“Whoa,” Zak commented, turning to look out the window too. “We ran out of gas in front of a cemetery? Weird. Let’s go explore!”

“I wanna come!” Elliot cried, turning to give me a pleading look. “Pig, can I go with him?”

I blinked when I realized he was talking to me. “Um, sure…”

Without another second’s hesitation, Zak unsnapped his seatbelt and hopped out of the car with Elliot. Tucker followed quickly, as well as Melissa. Arden turned frowned at me for a second, looking worried.

“Harley… Is this…?”

“Where my parents are buried?” I finished for him, dropping my gaze. “Yeah.”

“Well,” Arden started, clapping his hands together. “I do believe I’ll go pay my respects to them then.”

I stared at him in bewilderment. “What?”

Arden cocked his head to the side. “You know. I’ll go introduce myself to them and stuff.”

“Why?”

Arden cocked an eyebrow. “You’re one of my closest friends, that’s why. I want to meet your parents.”

My mouth dried at Arden’s words. He wanted to meet my dad parents? I couldn’t help but to smile at him. “You’re weird.”

Arden grinned back. “Come on, let’s go.”

My smile dropped. “Oh, I don’t know if I want to go…”

“Why not?”

“I just… I…”

“Go,” Oliver ordered, pushing my shoulder. “I’m coming too. Let’s all go visit them.”

I gave Oliver a questioning look. Why was he so pushy? He pushed on my shoulder again and I resigned, scooting to the middle of the can. Arden opened the door and hopped out, helping me onto the frozen ground after him. Oliver jumped down after me, shutting the door behind him. I pulled my jacket tighter around me as a gust of chilly wind nipped at me. It blew my hair into my face, momentarily blocking my vision of the graveyard. When I pushed it away, the black iron gates and grey headstones came back into vision.

“Ready?”

I glanced at Arden briefly before refocusing on the cemetery. An odd feeling washed over me— sort of like a mix of fear, excitement, and sorrow. It made me feel a little sick. Did I want to go visit their grave right now? After having so much fun?

Suddenly a warm hand enveloped my cold one. My eyes followed the hand holding mine to the arm connected to it, all the way up to the face. Arden gave me an encouraging smile. He pulled on it, taking the lead.

My free hand shot out to grab Oliver’s. Oliver’s eyes widened slightly, but he said nothing. He gave my hand a small squeeze, allowing me to drag him behind Arden and myself as we headed towards the kissing gate that led into the cemetery. We moved through the small layer of snow on the ground, leaving foot imprints behind us.

Row upon row of headstones protruded from the ground on either side of us. Some of them were large and elegant, while others were small and quaint. Every one had a small blanket of white snow on top of it.

“Do you remember where it is?” Arden questioned softly, as if talking in a loud tone would somehow disturb the strange silence that encased us.

I hesitated for a moment, staring at a small gravestone as we passed it. “No,” I finally lied, ducking my head. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been here… I think it’s near the back though.”

I silently begged for Arden to buy my lie. I hated lying to him, but I didn’t want anyone around me when I went to the grave. It was my first time in a little more than half a year. I didn’t know how I was going to react. And I didn’t want Oliver or Arden around to see how I did.

“Why don’t we split up then?” Arden suggested, thankfully believing me. “We can shout or something if one of us finds them. Are they next to each other?”

I nodded meekly. “Yeah… Let’s split up then. I’ll head to the far right.” I pointed in the said direction, turning back up to Arden. “Why don’t you start on the left?”

“Sounds good. What about you, Oliver?”

“I’ll start in the middle I guess,” he responded.

Arden nodded. “Alright.” He dropped my hand, and immediately it felt like ice. “I’m going to go start looking then.”

“I will too,” Oliver said, also letting go of my hand.

A frown flickered across my face at the absence of their hands. Arden waved to me once more before trudging through the snow towards the left of the cemetery. Oliver waited another moment, scrutinizing me with his eyes.

“Will you be okay?” he finally asked.

I blinked at him, a bit taken aback by his question. “Oh, um, yeah.”

He nodded once more before turning his back on me and heading further down the path we were on. I stared after him for a moment, my heart beating a little quicker than usual. When he disappeared from my view, I turned to the right and began hurrying down the rows of headstones. The snow crunched under my feet as I carefully treaded around each headstone, keeping a vigilant eye out for the flat ones so I wouldn’t accidentally step on them.

Snow began to flurry from the sky as I continued to trek across the hard ground. A very familiar, gnarled, tree entered my vision, and I dragged my hand across its trunk as I passed it. I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to remember exactly where my parents’ grave was. If I remembered correctly, it was twenty paces from the gnarled tree.

“One, two, three,” I counted softly under my breath, taking small steps towards the right. “Four, five, six…”

On step twenty I stopped, glancing at the large, two-person gravestone in front of me. They were just a few feet away from the black, iron gate that enclosed the cemetery. As my gaze ran over the familiar headstone, it felt like something heavy was pressing against my chest. Grief. Grief that actually weighed down on my chest.

I staggered a few steps closer, staring at the stone that seemed to shine in the moonlight brighter than any other stones around it. My eyes raked over the familiar names of my parents, taking in the engravings on the grey stone.

Fiona Allen James Allen

Born: May 21st, 1967 Born: October 31st, 1964

Died: December 2nd, 2009 Died: December 2nd, 2009.

Your memory will carry on.

I cracked a smile at the words engraved under their names. Although almost my whole entire family had protested using song lyrics as a memory for the grave, my uncle had convinced them to let me put it on there. Before they had died I, like any other teenager, had gone through a My Chemical Romance stage. That was the only song they actually liked and would actually listen to with me. The words fit well.

“Hey mom, dad,” I finally said out loud. Silence was my answer. I made a face. It was really awkward talking out loud.

I squatted down by the grave, wiping the snow away from the front of the head stone. My hand trailed over the engravings of my parents’ names and the dates of their deaths, feeling the smooth, cold marble against my skin.

“So, um, it’s been a year since you… you know,” I murmured, cursing myself inwardly. “Never mind. You don’t know. You probably can’t even hear me. You probably don’t know that I’m standing here right now, alive and well. While you’re under this cold snow and dirt, unknowing and unaware of what’s happening in the real world… That your daughter is standing in this dark cemetery alone at night, talking to her dead parents gravestone, wishing they were still alive.”

The tears sprung up on me so fast, I didn’t even realize they were there until I felt something warm rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. For a moment I stared at the grave in front of me, my lips pressed together tightly. When I finally trusted myself to speak again, my voice came out a little more shakily than before.

“Elliot’s here too,” I whispered, clenching my hands into fists. “I wish you could see him. He’s so grown up now… He still calls me Pig, too. I pretend it’s annoying, but I really like hearing him call me that, especially since you used to call me Pig all the time, Mom. Remember that? And then Dad would scold you?” A watery chuckle left my lips. “I wonder what you’d say to Eli… I bet he’d like to see you. Probably more than me. I don’t think he really understands that you guys aren’t coming back. Either that or he’s handling it way better than I did.”

I ran my hand over the snow on the ground, making a small pile, and squeezing it with all my strength. “I miss you guys. I miss you so much.” Tears once again began to fall down my face, but this time I wiped them away. I had to be strong, especially in front of my parents.

“Harley?”

A gasp of surprise left my lips and I jumped violently. Oliver suddenly appeared in my vision, dropping to his knees. He moved closer to me, peering at my face. “Are you okay?”

His proximity made my face heat up, but I didn’t think he could tell because my face was already flushed from the cold. “I—I’m fine.”

“Why are you on the ground then?” he demanded, sounding irritated. “You scared me. I thought you had passed out or something.”

“I’m fine,” I told him, smiling slightly. “Thanks for your worry though.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Come on, get off the ground.”

Oliver climbed to his feet and stuck out his hand for me to take. In one brisk move, he had me on my feet. I brushed the snow and dirt off of my back and butt, making a face when I realized it was wet.

“Here.”

I turned to see Oliver holding out a package of tissues to me. “Why do you have those?”

“Why not?”

Staring at him curiously, I took the package from him, pulling one of the tissues out and blowing my nose. He took the package back and also my snotty tissue, putting it I his pocket.

“I can hold on to that,” I told him, feeling my face heat up again. “I’m not a kid.”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “It’s fine.”

I huffed at him, crossing my arms. His eyes went past me, landing on my parents’ grave. My heart dropped in my gut when his eyes narrowed.

“Your parents’ grave is here, huh?” he commented, moving closer to the tombstone. “Fiona is a pretty name. James was my great-grandpa’s name.”

“Really?”

Oliver nodded, running his hand over the engravings much like I did earlier. “Yeah.” He squatted down in front of the grave, putting his hand on top of it for balance. “Hey. I’m Oliver, Harley’s friend.”

It sounded a little funny to hear Oliver talking to the gravestone, but my face stayed straight. My heart clenched, but not in a painful way. The way Oliver so easily talked to my dead parents made me happy. He continued talking, but in such a low voice that I couldn’t make out what he was saying. When he was done, he pushed himself away from the grave. He turned to me, offering me a kind smile. I stared back at him, thrown off guard by his affectionate look once again.

“You want to know something interesting?” he asked, coming closer to me.

“What?”

He nodded towards the gravestone next to my parents’. “Have you read that one?”

Shaking my head, I took a few steps to the left. My eyes widened when I read the head stone. Oliver walked past me, brushing his hand over the engraving of his mom’s name. Abigail Hastings.

“Is Lily’s last name Hastings?” I asked quietly. Oliver’s was Fox, so he didn’t take his mother’s last name.

Oliver nodded. “Yeah. Kate and Andy let her keep her last name.”

“Oh,” I responded, dropping to my knees beside Oliver. “Hi Abby— is it okay if I call you that? Oh wait…” I blushed, realizing my mistake. “Sorry,” I apologized to Oliver. “I’m not good at this…”

He chuckled. “Everyone called her Abby. I’m sure you can too.”

“Oh, okay. Well, er, hi again, Abby,” I started again, my face still on fire. “I’m Harley, Oliver’s friend. My mom’s dead too.” Oliver snorted from beside me. I kept my gaze on the headstone, cursing myself. “Sorry. I mean… Well maybe right now you’re with my mom and dad, huh? That would be weird. You could be friends up in heaven or wherever you all are, while Oliver and I are friends down here. Your grave is next to my parents too.”

“Harley’s weird mom,” Oliver commented, suddenly appearing beside me, “but I promise you’ll like her. Just give her a moment to lose her awkwardness.”

I sent him a mocking glare. “Hey.”

Oliver smirked at me. “Just saying.”

“Well, Abby, I’m going to let Oliver talk to you alone for awhile,” I said, turning back to the grave. “I want to let you know that although Oliver may seem like a jerk to everyone, he’s a really good guy. I’m sure you know already know this, but I’m just saying Oliver has a big heart. He’s really helped me out a lot. Your son is an amazing person. I’m lucky to have him as my friend.”

Just as I straightened myself out, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. My eyes widened in surprise, and I turned my head to the side to see Oliver’s face out of the corner of my eye. He held me tighter, making it hard to breathe.

“I’m the lucky one, Harley,” he told me in a quiet voice. “Thank you.”

“Oliver—” I started, but my voice cracked from lack of oxygen. I struggled to get out of Oliver’s grasp, trying to breathe.

Oliver released his grasp on me quickly, taking a step back away. He adverted his gaze, tensing up. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“That’s not it!” I told him, taking a step closer to him. “You were just kind of suffocating me.”

Oliver turned back to me, looking surprised. “Sorry,” he apologized, a relieved look washing over him.

I chuckled, this time wrapping my arms around him. “It’s okay, Oliver. And I should also say thank you to you.”

“Don’t thank me.”

“I am anyway.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Oliver, just shut up and accept it.”

Oliver sighed lightly. “Fine. Your welcome.”

“Harley? Where are you?”

Oliver and I took away from each other quickly, abruptly dropping our arms. Flushing, I started towards the source of the noise, leaving Oliver behind. “I’m over here!”

“Over where?” Arden called back, sounding far away.

“Follow the sound of my voice!”

“Sing or something!”

“What am I supposed to sing?”

“Anything!”

“I’ve got chills they’re multiplying, and I’m losing control,” I sang quickly, belting out the first song I thought of. “’Cause the power you’re supplying— it’s electrifying!”

Suddenly there was a pair of hands on my shoulders from behind me, making me start. “You better shape up, ‘cause I need a man. And my heart is set on you. You better shape up, you better understand to my heart I must be true.”

“Nothing left, nothing left for me to do,” I responded with a grin. “I would have never guessed you knew Grease songs, Arden.”

He shrugged. “You’re the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh, honey. It’s a classic. So, did you find your parents’ grave?”

“Yeah,” I told him, nodding back towards the gnarled tree. “Want to go see it now?”