《Struggles ✔》Chapter 72.
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The field trip didn't go that well considering everyone hated us and gave us dirty looks the whole time. My friends tried their hardest to take my mind off of it. It wasn't the best field trip, but the best thing did happen...
Flashback
"Hey, Alex?" Alyssa approaches me as I am about to enter the room Cole and I share.
"Oh...uhm...hey Alyssa?" I say in confusion. Why was she talking to me?
"C-can I talk to you?" She asks with tears in her eyes. I nod my head and let her in the room. Cole was with the rest,so it was just us two. I sat on my bed while she sits on Cole's.
"I'm so sorry." She bursts into sobs. Her actions shocked me.
"I'm such a terrible person...I'm so so god damn sorry. I caused you so much pain. I am the worst sister ever. I'm so sorry Alex...I'm so sorry...." she sobs
"I regret everything. I'm sorry."
I chuckle. She looks up at me, and I just open my arms for her. She jumps in my arms and hugs me tightly.
"You are the worst sister ever. You are such a terrible person. You did cause me so much pain...but you are still my sister. You are still a person with feelings such as selfishness, and you are also in pain." I say
"I forgive you because I believe in second chances...that and forgiving you will really help take some weight off my shoulders. I'm struggling a lot. I'm worrying about us, about Cole and I, about family, about friends, about Josh, about Ariana, about school. I have a lot on my shoulders. I think forgiving you is a great start to feeling better. I think that...this will be my first step to a new happiness." I say. She sobs even louder at what I said. She hugs me tigter , and repeatedly says sorry. Once she lets go, she rants to me
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"I'm struggling too. While you're worrying so much, I'm feeling an immense guilt. Mom and Dad are mad at me because I practically chased you away. I have no more friends because I refuse to befriend the fake ones. I hurt Cole...I hurt you...I caused pain to my other half." She says. I hug her close and comfort her
"You know...a wise person once told me that going through struggled by yourself fucking sucks. That's why you always need some people to help you." The familiar voice of Cole interrupts her crying. We look up to see Cole and our friends with small smiles on their faces. Alyssa cries even more, making all of us get into one big group hug.
1 problem down.
End of Flashback
Before I could reminisce about the whole trip, Cole pokes me and tells me that it's time to leave to the doctors. I got up and hugged all my friends goodbye.
"Please get better soon, sis" Chase says when I hug him. Robin hits the back of his head before enveloping me in his arms
"Excuse me,but I've been there for her more than you. I'm more of a brother than you." He says. I get pulled again once more by the girls. They all pull me into a group hug before looking at the boys.
"She's OUR sister." They declare. The boys raise their hands in surrender.
"Yeah!! Our sister!!" Matt says from behind the Olivia. Olvia hits him in the back of his head.
"Not you. Just us girls." She says
"Oh." He pouts
We all laugh at the two. After all the goodbyes, it was time for Cole and I to leave. I lean back into the passenger seat as Cole starts driving.
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"Thanks for filling in Brian's place, Cole." I thank him
"No problem, Lex. I told you that I'll take care of you and make you happy. If this will make you get better,I'll do anything I can to help." He says
"This whole thing will pretty much be them trying to make me feel at peace and calm. They'll give me therapeutic activities to do." I say
"Why does Brian have to stay with you?" He asks
"They think it's nice to have someone who loves you be with you for support or something like that. They might be able to help or whatever." I shrug
"It helps at first but then you start thinking about how they could be doing much better things than stick with you,so then you're back to square 1 and are depressed again even with your loved on there" I explain further. Cole nods in understanding.
"So does this mean..." he trails off. I raise my eyebrow at him, silently telling him to continue.
"Does this mean that this time, I'm the person who loves you and will be supporting you" he gives a cheeky grin. My cheeks fill with heat at his words. I reach towards the raido and turn the volume up
"Hey, I love this song!" I attempt to change the topic. He laughs a bit.
You make me dance like a fool,
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold,
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile...
I smile lightly at this song. It was the song that Cole and I listened to on our first date...It's the song we dedicated to each other.
"I love this song too..." He says
"Y-yeah..." I mumble
As the song ends, a new one starts to play. I find myself singing along to this one.
[Alex:]
Little do you know
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
Little do you know
I need a little more time
Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside
I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight
Little do you know
I need a little more time
Cole sings the next part as he drives. He glances at my direction a few times. The way he sang and the way he glanced at me...made me feel like he was singing to me...the lyrics fit our whole relationship too...
Cole pulls over to the side. The song ended as he did, yet he still grabbed by hand, looked me in the eye and sang to me. He sang to me and made sure that I knew he meant what he sang. He meant everything he sang. Both of us meant it.
/////////////////////
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